A Blog Post from My Brother
2023-08-13
Today I showed two foreign friends visit淤our city—Shijiazhuang. We set offby car from the Friendship Hotel at 8 a.m. We first went to Peoples Park. We wereall struck by its beautiful flowers on show. Then we visited the City Museum. Wesaw a plenty of于valuable things and learnt more about the city from them. Afterthat, we went to Xibaipo by car. It is a beautiful place of interest in our city, andwe enjoyed the wonderful scenery of Taihang Mountain from there盂. We had adelicious lunch at Xibaipo Red Flag Restaurant and came back at 2:20 p.m.
All the foreign friends were pleased under my arrangements. We did have agood time today.
河北省阜城縣第四中学 路青林
本期点评名师
张超
男,河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、县骨干教师、市优秀英语教师,从事英语教育教学工作30 多年;多年来,在省级以上报刊发表文章数百篇,并有多篇文章获奖;曾参与多本教辅资料的编写工作;曾荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;曾多次辅导多名学生在市、省和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。
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优点:
本文分享了一次石家庄之旅,按时间顺序对旅游经过进行了细致的描述。
需要修改的地方:
①visit 改为around。show sb. around 意为“带领某人参观……”。
②a plenty of 去掉a。短语plenty of 意为“足够的,大量,很多”。
③去掉介词from。因为there 是副词,其前面无需使用介词。
评分:
按照中考英语作文满分20 分的标准,本文修改前可得17 分。