两张五美元

广东 谭 茜

苏珊像往常一样去农场主汤普森的旅馆收取妈妈给旅馆客人洗衣服的五美元报酬，没想到农场主在忙乱之间竟无意中给了她两张五美元，小女孩既感到兴奋却又意识到这样不对，内心一阵纠结……

One Saturday evening, when Susan went, as usual, to farmer Thompson's inn, to receive the price of her mother's washing for the boarders, which amounted to five dollars,she found the farmer in the stable yard. He was apparently in a terrible rage with some horse dealers. He held in his hand an open pocketbook, full of bills. Scarcely noticing the child as she made her request, except to swear at her for troubling him when he was busy,he handed her the money.

Glad to escape so easily, Susan hurried out of the gate. Pausing to pin the money safely in the folds of her shawl, she discovered that he had given her two bills instead of one. Nobody was near to share her discovery, and her first impulse was joy at the unexpected prize.“It is mine,all mine!”said she to herself.“I will buy mother a new cloak with it,and she can give the old one to sister Mary so that Mary can go to Sunday school with me next winter.”

At that moment,it occurred to her that he must have given it by mistake,and therefore she had no right to it.But again the voice of the tempter whispered,“Keep it;he will never know it, even if it should be a mistake, for he had too many such bills in that great pocketbook to miss one.”

While this conflict was going on in her mind between good and evil, she was hurrying homeward as fast as possible.Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she had repeatedly balanced the comforts which the money would buy against the sin of wronging her neighbor.As she crossed the little bridge over the narrow creek,her eyes fell upon a rustic seat which her mother had occupied during a conversation with her. Instantly, the words said by her mother,“Whatsoever you would that people should do to you, do it even so to them,”sounded in her ears like a trumpet.

Reading Check

阅读上面的短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

Turning suddenly round, Susan hastened along the road until she found herself once more at farmer Thompson's gate._______________________________________________

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Paragraph 2:

With her tears rolling down the cheeks,he seemed touched by her distress.___________

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Step 1 语篇研读

本文是一篇记叙文。要做到续写内容与所给材料内容连贯、衔接紧密，必须充分了解所给材料的大意。文章分析如下：

Step 2 情节构思

我们可以基于原文和续写段落首句提供的信息，构思续写部分的故事情节，这一过程分为四步。

第一步，根据已给出的文本判断文章的立意。

文章开头介绍苏珊像往常一样去农场主汤普森的旅馆收取妈妈为旅馆客人洗衣服的五美元，却因农场主忙于与人争执，意外多得到了一张五美元。她内心经历了一阵挣扎：一方面有了这五美元她就能给妈妈添置新衣服，妹妹也能一起去上学；但另一方面苏珊知道这钱本不属于她。从已给出的文章内容来看，这个故事很有可能是围绕“诚实”这个主题展开的。

第二步，根据续写第一段所给出的段首句以设问的方式推测情节发展。

根据续写第一段的段首句“Turning suddenly round, Susan hastened along the road until she found herself once more at farmer Thompson's gate.”，我们可以推测出苏珊急匆匆地回到了农场主的旅馆门口准备归还这五美元。因此，我们可以在设计情节时提出以下几个问题：

（1）How would Susan return the five dollars?

（2）What might be the farmer's reaction?

（3）How would Susan explain to the farmer?

第三步，根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段要写什么。

根据续写第二段的段首句“With her tears rolling down the cheeks, he seemed touched by her distress.”，我们从其中的关键词tears 可以推测出苏珊的还钱过程并不顺利。结合前文对农场主的描写“swear at her for troubling him when he was busy”，我们可以猜测出农场主应该没有欣然接受苏珊的道歉，反倒指责了她。后半句“he seemed touched by her distress”暗示了在续写第二段中农场主的态度会有所改变。结合文章“诚实”的主题，为了使续写的两段衔接自然，我们可以推测续写第一段的最后要写农场主指责苏珊，她极力解释，忍不住哭了出来。

第四步，围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句，根据下面的提问进行构思：

（1）What would the farmer do next?

（2）How would the farmer accept the apology or even encourage and reward Susan?

（3）How would Susan react to it?

（4）How can the ending reflect the theme?

Step 3 语言打磨

一、语言特色

1.At that moment,it occurred to her that he must have given it by mistake,and therefore she had no right to it.在那一刻，她突然想到这些钱肯定是他不小心多给了，因此她没有权利去使用它。

【点石成金】It occurs/occurred to sb that...是常用的it 作形式主语的句型，表示“某人突然想到……”；另外，right 在这里不是表示“正确的”，而是表示“权利”。

2.Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she had repeatedly balanced the comforts which the money would buy against the sin of wronging her neighbor.然而，在她看到自己的家之前，她已经反复权衡过金钱可以买到的舒适和欺瞒邻居的罪过。

【点石成金】before 引导时间状语从句，in sight of 指“看见”；comforts 由which 引导的定语从句修饰。

二、语言模式

（一）生动的动作描写

1.He held in his hand an open pocketbook,full of bills.

2. Except to swear at her for troubling him when he was busy, he handed her the money.

3.Susan hurried out of the gate.

4. As she crossed the little bridge over the narrow creek, her eyes fell upon a rustic seat.

5.She was hurrying homeward as fast as possible.

（二）丰富的心理描写

1.“It is mine,all mine!”said she to herself.

2.Her first impulse was joy at the unexpected prize.3.But again the voice of the tempter whispered,“Keep it;he will never know it...”

4.The words said by her mother,“Whatsoever you...”sounded in her ears like a trumpet.

5.This conflict was going on in her mind between good and evil.

（三）经典句型

Scarcely noticing the child as she made her request,he handed her the money.当孩子提出要求时，他几乎没有注意到她，就把钱递给了她。

【点石成金】本句是一个使用非谓语的典型例子，noticing 表示伴随。当句子中要表达两个动作且有主次之分时，可考虑借助非谓语形式增强语言表达的多样性。当动作与主语之间是主动关系时用现在分词形式，是被动关系时用过去分词形式，表目的时则使用不定式。例：

Lying in bed,he was reading a book.(lie与he之间为主动关系)

Trapped in trouble,he was reading a book to find out the answer.(trap 与he 之间为被动关系)

To find out the answer,he was reading a book.(to find out表示目的)

Step 4 润色成篇

在续写的过程中，我们要注意“续”的原则，做到续写内容在主题、情节、语言风格上与原文保持一致。具体如下：

（1）通过分析，本文的主题是弘扬积极正面的价值观，比如诚信、正直、拒绝诱惑等，续写时应注意结局的正能量走向；

（2）续写的情节应和前面的开始和发展吻合，可根据人物的性格特点进行合理的预测，譬如农场主最开始的反应和苏珊诚实善良的品质特点；

（3）原文中有多处心理描写和动作描写，且使用了非谓语doing/done作状语，定语从句及丰富、生动的动词，续写时应尽量模仿并运用这些语言特色；

（4）续写时注意句子长短相间，句型丰富，以及语法、用词、标点符号的准确性。