“战俘”

文/穆纳·法迪勒 译/程颋

Sahira was standing in the doorframe,watching her father grow transparent1transparent透明的，此处为反光或强光干扰导致人眼看不清东西。as the morning sun glowed in her bleach-white2bleach white漂白色，一种比较亮的纯白色。kitchen.He sat at the marble table, gutting3gut取出……的内脏，此处为拆开某物，取出内部部件。a radio transistor.The sun washed right through4wash through（阳光）照过；（水）流经，淹没。him.Sahira reached out for him, but Saleh shrugged away5shrug away避开，不理睬，置之不理。and disappeared like a mirage6mirage海市蜃楼；幻想。against the white walls.

早晨的阳光照进了漂白色的厨房，萨希拉站在门框里，看着父亲的身影变得透明起来。他坐在大理石桌旁，正在拆收音机的晶体管，阳光恰好从他身上照过去。萨希拉向他伸出手，萨利赫却避开了，就像白墙映衬下的幻影那样消失了。

2萨利赫总是对周围的电子产品感到惊讶，它们看上去和他二十年前刚被伊朗人俘虏时完全不一样。现在，他大部分时间都花在研究这些电子产品上了。当初他被囚禁时，事物总是一成不变的，同样的故事囚犯们互相讲了一百遍还假装是第一次听到。萨希拉冲他微笑了一下。他看上去就像一个小男孩，沉迷于手头的活计。萨希拉走到水池边，把蔬菜洗净沥干。

2Saleh was constantly amazed by the electronic gadgets around him.They looked nothing like they had when he was first caught by the Iranians twenty years before.Now, he spent most of his days discovering them.In captivity, everything had been the same.Prisoners exchanged the same stories for the hundredth time and pretended to be hearing them afresh.Sahira smiled at him.He looked like a little boy, consumed by7be consumed by沉迷于，专注于。the task at hand.She walked to the sink to wash and drain her greens.

3Sahira had been five when Saleh was captured, twenty-three when he was released.Sahira and her mother waited as the first, second, and third round of prisoners of war exchanged between Iraq and Iran, long after the end of the eight-year war.They asked returning prisoners if they had met Saleh, if they had known him.No one had.Sahira’s mother died in 1996.Saleh made it out in 1998.

3萨利赫被俘时，萨希拉才5岁，等到他被释放时，萨希拉已经23岁了。8年战争结束后的很长时间里，萨希拉和妈妈一直等着伊拉克和伊朗交换战俘，她们等到了第一轮，等到了第二轮，又等到了第三轮。她们询问回来的战俘见没见过萨利赫，认不认识萨利赫。没人见过他也没人认识他。1996年，萨希拉的妈妈去世了。1998年，萨利赫获释。

4That winter, Sahira slept three nights in her car at Al Nusoor Square in Baghdad, where it was promised the last of the POWs8POW = prisoner of war战俘。would be brought home.Sahira brought an old ID photo of her father, which she’d enlarged and put in a bright gold frame.Sahira hoped that, even if Saleh didn’t recognize her,he’d at least recognize his old self.Sahira slouched9slouch低头垂肩地、无精打采地站、坐或走。down in the seat of her car, pulled her sleeves to cover her cold fingertips, and dozed off.She woke up when her car began rocking as people squeezed past it in the mayhem10mayhem混乱，骚乱。.The crowds made her car move with them.

4那个冬天，在巴格达的阿尔努苏尔广场，萨希拉在车里睡了三个晚上。政府说好了要在这个广场让最后一批战俘回家。萨希拉带了一张父亲的旧证件照，她把这张照片放大了，镶在一个亮金色的相框里。萨希拉希望就算萨利赫认不出她，至少他认得出过去的自己。萨希拉窝在车座上，拉长袖子盖住冰凉的手指尖，打起了瞌睡。混乱中人群从她的车旁挤过去，车开始摇晃起来，萨希拉就醒了。她的车被拥挤的人流裹挟着，随之移动。

5起初，当监狱的大门猛地打开，看守用波斯语冲着他们大声叫喊让他们出去时，萨利赫并不相信他们要被释放了。他和狱友都认为他们会被处决。一个还抱着希望的人问：“你觉得他们是让我们走吗？”“闭嘴！”萨利赫给了他一巴掌。俘虏在看守的押送下排成纵队走出去。外面的世界亮得刺眼。萨利赫渴望看到天空，但天空太明亮了，晃得他睁不开眼睛。看守把新衣服扔给他们，让他们换上，这时候萨利赫开始琢磨了。他从旧衬衣上撕下一条布藏起来，打算如果希望落空，他就勒死自己。之后萨利赫和其他人被送上大客车，车上有软垫座椅。萨利赫有1 8年没在软垫上坐过了，他把双手的手掌按在座垫上哭了起来。他知道，他们要回家了。

5At first, Saleh didn’t believe it when the prison doors flung11fling猛掷；狠抛。open and the guards yelled at them in Farsi to get out.Saleh thought, as his cellmates did, that they would be executed.“Do you think they’re letting us go?” one hopeful man asked.“Shut up!” Saleh slapped him.They walked them outside, single file.The outside world was blindingly bright.Saleh was hungry to see sky,but it was brighter than his eyes could handle.When they threw new clothes at them and told them to change, Saleh began to wonder.He tore off a strip of his old shirt and hid it: if this was false hope12false hope虚假的希望。, he was going to strangle himself.Then Saleh and the others were put in buses that had padded seats.Saleh had not sat on a cushion in eighteen years.He pushed the palms of his hands into the padding and cried.He knew then that they were going home.

6 “Bushra!”

“Daddy! Here!” They embraced and lost track of time.The crowds roared around them.

“Bushra!” Saleh was about to kiss Sahira on the lips.

6 “布莎拉！”

“爸爸！我在这儿！”他们拥抱在一起，不知过了多久，周围是又喊又叫的人群。

“布莎拉！”萨利赫想亲吻萨希拉的嘴唇。

“爸爸，是我，萨希拉。妈妈她……”萨希拉欲言又止。萨利赫好像触电了一样把胳膊从女儿身上拿开。萨希拉，那个紧紧抱着他的腿，当他在屋里走动时，随着他的腿上下摆动，晃着一头卷发咯咯笑的小姑娘。“萨希拉，”萨利赫亲了一下她的前额，“我没认出是你。”

“Daddy, it’s me, Sahira.Mommy she…” Sahira hesitated.Saleh pulled his arms off his daughter as though he’d been electrocuted13electrocute使触电死亡；用电刑处死。.Sahira, his tiny girl who’d clung to his leg, giggling and shaking her curly hair as he swung his leg up and down, walking across a room.“Sahira.” Saleh placed a kiss on her forehead.“I didn’t recognize you.”

7“Daddy?” Saleh looked up as Sahira dried her hands on a towel.“Lunch is ready for when you’re hungry.All you have to do is heat it.OK? I have to go to work.Do you need anything? OK?OK.” Sahira had her usual one-sided conversation.She patted his head as she walked past him to grab her coat and purse.“Don’t leave the house, OK? And call me if you need anything.”

7“爸爸？”萨利赫闻声抬起头来，萨希拉正在用毛巾擦手上的水。“午饭准备好了，你饿了就吃，热热就行，知道了吗？我得去上班了。你还需要什么吗？嗯？好。”像往常一样，就萨希拉自己一个人在说话。她经过萨利赫拿外套和手提包时，拍了拍他的头。“别出门，好吗？需要什么就给我打电话。”

8Saleh was too consumed by the radio’s inner workings14inner workings内部运行方式，内部工作原理。to be bothered.Saleh heard the sound of the bolt once,then twice, and then his daughter’s footsteps moving away.Saleh carefully reached down to feel if the padding in the chair under him was real.He then got up and closed the curtains to block out the blinding sun.■

8萨利赫正在专心琢磨收音机内部是怎么运转的，顾不上搭理女儿。他听见门闩先响了一声，接着又响了一声，然后是女儿渐渐远去的脚步声。萨利赫小心翼翼地摸了摸身下椅子的衬垫，看看它是不是真的，然后起身拉上了窗帘，把刺眼的阳光挡在外面。 □