TAKE SOME TIME OUT FOR LOVE

By Mao Li

My friend grumbled that she had to fire her nanny.It was the first time she had to do such a thing.

The reason made our jaws drop.The live-in nanny often snuck out without her permission.She would only send a message when she left:“I’ve got to run an errand.”

Such a message would upset my friend,for she had to worry about picking up the kids and preparing supper.When she asked the nanny when she would come back home,all she could get was a quick reply of ASAP.And then,at 21:00,the nanny would send a message apologizing that she wouldn’t be able to come back that night.

What kept her sneaking out?It turned out that the 42-year-old nanny was in love with a fellow townsman.The man was 33 years old.When my friend saw their photo,she couldn’t believe her eyes.The man was unexpectedly tall and handsome.

Even though she fired her,my friend actually admired the nanny.A 42-year-old woman could hang out all night with her lover,just like a 24-year-old girl.She really got her own way and maybe she would start living for herself.

As soon as my friend finished the story,another friend started complaining that she had not met any unmarried men since she came to Shanghai a year ago.She wondered what was wrong with her?

My conclusion was that it was much easier for blue-collar workers to start a relationship,rather than white-collar workers.

Once I went out for dinner and saw a dozen delivery riders resting on their e-bikes waiting for orders.A delivery girl sat close to a delivery guy,their hands held together.Another delivery guy teased them,“If you spent less time being lovey-dovey,you could get more orders.”

The girl pursed her lips and made a gesture to playfully hit the man,but she just raised her hand and then leaned back on her boyfriend’s shoulder.They were so adorable.

There was a vegetable delivery man in our community.I was amused by the words written on the back of his delivery basket“Forget him! I will take care of you by delivering vegetables!”What a humorous person! He was advertising his singleness.

Fatiguing physical labor and plain work suits never prevent physical workers from their pursuit of love.In contrast,my female friends in fashionable clothes who work for the fortune 500 companies only talk about dating and marriage,but can’t be bothered to go out after work.They would rather order takeaway on a mobile app than meet friends at a restaurant.And they’d prefer to spend their time online arguing with strangers on such topics as whether an independent woman should take a betrothal gift rather than go back to their hometown for an arranged date.

朋友很气愤，说这么多年从来没开除过阿姨，这次不得不这样做。

故事一说，让人啧啧称奇。原来，她家的住家阿姨最近老是偷偷溜出去玩，走之前不打招呼，溜出去后才发个消息说：有事出去一趟。主人十分着急，她走了，谁接小孩？晚饭怎么办？问大概多久回来，只有一句：尽快回来。直到晚上9 点，发来消息说：很抱歉，晚上回不来了。

到底什么急事？42 岁的阿姨正在谈着火热的恋爱。对方是阿姨的老乡，33 岁，看到两人的合影，朋友吓了一跳，竟然是这么高大英俊的男人。

虽然开除了阿姨，内心却对她很敬佩，42 岁像24 岁一样夜不归宿谈恋爱，阿姨也算活出了自我，大概后半辈子真的要为自己活了。

这边朋友刚说完这件事，那边另一个朋友来吐槽，搬来上海工作一年，竟然连一个单身男人都不认识，到底怎么回事啊？

我的结论是：劳动人民谈恋爱，比白领、中产们容易多了。

有一次出去吃饭，看到十来个外卖员骑着电动车，其中有个女骑手紧紧挨着另一个男骑手，两人手拉手，被另一个男骑手嘲笑：你俩腻歪这工夫，少接多少单啊，单子都被人抢没啦。女骑手作势要打那男的，冲出去，扬了两下手，又回到男朋友旁边。这甜蜜劲儿，看得人羡慕不已。

在我们小区里碰到一个送菜的，装菜的筐上写着“忘了他吧，我送菜养你”。暗笑之余，我觉得这哥们儿挺有意思，阳光向上，给单身的自己打广告呢。

I suspect it is closely connected with our sedentary lifestyle.Humans are also animals.Physical workers who constantly move their hands and legs at work still retain their basic instincts.

However,the so-called whitecollar workers,who barely do physical work,and maintain their life just by ordering housekeeping,takeaway,and taxi services,probably have lost their basic instincts.Spending their days and nights in front of the computer,why on earth do they need a relationship with a real person?Why would they bother going to the cinema,shopping,and having meals at restaurants with others?

It’s too much for them.Most of their needs can be met by just tapping on the screen.What instincts do they have? They will only feel restless when their smart phone battery is dead.

It seems that the secret of having a relationship is to move your body.A divorced female friend with two kids met a handsome boyfriend in a gymnasium.It was hard for her to find a boyfriend on the marriage market,but she found her love exercising.Another friend met her boyfriend in a marathon club.They ran several 10 km races together and it was quite easy and natural for them to add each other as WeChat friends when buying bottled water.

I now understand why love stories often happen on a journey.When one moves their body,their basic instincts start to work.

Therefore,when you feel that it’s hard to find a boyfriend,and that a relationship is less pleasing than a romantic Korean drama,try go out and move your body.Be it taking a part-time job as a delivery rider or exercising in a fitness club,the time out on the move might help you find your true love.

(FromVista,Issue 4,2021.Translation:Li Li)

虽然干活又累又辛苦，但劳动人民毫不掩饰对爱情的热烈追求。我那些在世界500 强企业上班、每天打扮得光鲜靓丽的女性朋友们，说着要谈恋爱、要结婚，其实下了班，连房门都不愿意出，宁愿点外卖，不愿意出门参加活动；宁愿在网上跟陌生网友大吵几百回合，辩论独立女性该不该收彩礼，却不愿意动动腿，回家相趟亲。

我甚至怀疑，这是不是跟成年人久坐不动有关？人类终究还是动物，体力劳动者每天虽然奔波劳碌，好歹手脚勤快，经脉畅通，舒经活血，终究维持着体内强烈的动物本能。

像我们这种四体不勤、五谷不分，连做家务都要叫阿姨上门，吃饭全靠外卖活着，上班把车叫到家门口的所谓脑力劳动者，或许真的已经没有动物本能。每天都在电脑前坐着，为什么还需要跟一个活的、动的人恋爱？还要跟这个人出门看电影、逛街、吃饭？

这真的太强人所难，动动手指头就能解决生活绝大部分需要，本能是什么？只有手里的智能手机忽然没电，才会觉得挠心挠肺。

看来，恋爱的首要秘诀很可能是先动起来。一位带着两个小孩离异的女性朋友，在健身房找到帅气男友，传统婚姻市场上，她这属于困难户，可只要跳的操够多，她就能找到新恋情。还有朋友是在马拉松跑团里认识的男朋友，一起跑了几个10 公里，买瓶水的工夫，交换一下微信，这不是挺方便、挺理所当然的吗？

我现在终于明白了，旅行为什么总有恋爱产生。当人不停地跑动时，或许动物本能真的开始周身弥漫开来。

当你对80 后男人不满意，觉得90 后男人也不怎么样，谈恋爱太麻烦，还不如追一部韩剧愉快时，不如兼职外卖员，去接接单，缘份也许就在此中？

（摘自《看天下》2021年第4期）