良言一句暖三冬

广东 袁丹纯

吉姆是个孤儿，从小在各种恶语的攻击下长大，逐渐成长为一个自卑、可怜的小家伙。直到一次在路上帮助一个女裁缝捡东西，收到人生第一次称赞后，他发生了改变……

题材 体裁成长故事 记叙文 344 ★★★文章词数 难度建议用时6分钟

A boy named Jim was an orphan and the laughing stock of the whole town. He was twelve years old, slim and undersized. He never remembered having a kind word spoken to him in his whole life. He was accustomed to harsh words, suspicion and rebuffs （拒绝）, and as a result became an unconfident, pitiful little figure, dodging（躲避） people. The more he was laughed at, the more suspicious he became.

Jim only had one possession, and that was his dog, which was as much hated as his master by others. Out of habit, Jim talked to the dog with all the harsh, unkind words he had been talked to, which cut like a sword.

One day as Jim walked down the street, he saw a bundle slip（滑出）from a lady's overloaded arms in front of him. Jim sprang to her assistance, gathering up the bundle for her. “Thank you, dear. You are a nice little boy,” she said kindly, and went on her way after giving him a bright smile. At the sight of this, an amazing feeling passed over Jim. These were the first kind words he had ever heard in his whole twelve years of existence. He stood and stared after her. He knew that she was the busy dressmaker living in a small cottage. He watched her until she was out of sight, and then he whistled to the stream with his dog cheerfully.

He sat down on the bank of the stream and did some thinking. “Thank you, dear. You are a nice little boy,” he murmured to himself again and again, with an enormous grin spreading across his face. Then, an idea occurred to him.He turned to his dog, saying gently, “You are a nice little dog.” The effect on the little poor thing was electric（令人兴奋的）. He pricked up(竖起) his ears, listening attentively. “Uh-huh!Even a dog likes nice words,” thought Jim, so he continued, “Thank you for always being with me. ” Hearing this, the dog wagged its tail joyously.

Language Study

Useful sentence patterns

1. He was twelve years old, slim and undersized.

分析：slim and undersized 为形容词充当状语，表示主语的状态，意为“又瘦又小”。

2.He never remembered having a kind word spoken to him in his whole life.

分析：have sth done意为“让某事被做”，因此，have a kind word spoken to him表示“有人对他说过良言善语”。 本句译为“他不记得在他一生中有人曾对他说过任何一句良言善语”。

Reading Check

阅读上面的文章，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。注意：

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150 左右；

2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

Then, Jim looked at his reflection in the stream and found some changes in him,too.____

______________________________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

Paragraph 2:

Some years later, a decent gentleman got off a car, standing in front of the busy dressmaker's cottage,followed by his dog.__________

______________________________________

______________________________________

写作导引

一、语篇研读

要素 分析：所给短文的情境模式 发展：续写短文的情境模式 说明：如此构思的理由Who Jim,his dog,the dressmaker Jim,his dog,the dressmaker What When Where Why Jim, who had been treated cruelly by others, received some kind words from a dressmaker for the first time in his life and came to change his view on life.The effect on Jim was enormous. So he began to say nice words to people around him, making him more popular and more confident.When he became successful, he returned to show his gratitude to the dressmaker for her kind words to him.When Jim was 12 years old Kind words have a positive effect on people.Be grateful for those who have helped you.In the town where Jim was living Some years later In the town; maybe later to another city;then back to the dressmaker's cottage Jim found that kind words have a positive effect on him and his dog.Kind words have a transforming power.

二、情节构思

基于原文本和续写段落首句提供的信息，采用围绕中心提问相关问题的方法， 构思要续写的故事情节，一般分为四步。

第一步，根据已给出的文本判断文章的立意。

文章给出的部分主要记叙的是： 吉姆是个12岁的孤儿，从小在各种恶语的攻击下长大，逐渐成长为一个自卑、可怜的小家伙。 出于习惯，他对唯一陪伴的小狗也是口出恶言。 直到一次在路上帮助一个女裁缝捡东西， 收到人生第一次称赞后，他发生了改变——开始赞美小狗。结合文章标题“良言一句暖三冬”可推断出本文的立意是“和善言语的重要性”。

第二步，根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段应包括什么内容。

根据第二段的段首句“几年后，吉姆已经变成了得体的绅士， 带着他的小狗开车来到裁缝的小屋前。”可知，续写第一段要写“吉姆因为听到称赞后发生了巨大的变化，成为一个成功的绅士”的情节，这样才能确保续写的两段是相衔接的。

第三步，围绕续写第一段所给出的段首句以及上面的分析进行提问构思：

（1）What changes did Jim find from his reflection?

（2）After leaving the stream, what would he do?

（3）How would people respond to his changes?

（4）How did Jim become successful because of kind words later?

第四步，围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句进行提问构思：

（1）What would Jim do when he met the dressmaker?

（2）What would Jim say when he met the dressmaker?

（3）How would the dressmaker respond?三、润色成篇

在续写的过程中要注意情节连贯，各部分内容相衔接，即：1.两段的续写与所给短文的衔接；2.每段的续写与续写段首句之间的衔接；

3.两段续写之间的衔接。 同时要注意语言风格的一致和语法、句型以及所用词的准确性。 比如，刻画人物形象时运用恰当的动词使其栩栩如生；描写人物心理活动时使用心理独白或者行为举止使其细微深入。