Gaggles of Gastronomic Grief

I took some friends out to eat at a Chinese restaurant during my travels.Upon opening the menu we were bowled over by the bevy of curiously exotic and grandly romantic names for the dishes.Monikers like Ferocious Dragon Crossing the River,Flying Fox in the Snowy Mountain,Twin Acmes of a Generation,Handsome Prince on a Snow-White Steed,The Battle Between Bo and Hei,Mother and Child Holding Hands,Ultimate Innocence,Flaming Kiss,Pigsy Clubbed to Death,and Marriage of Xiao Erhei.

Well,I don’t get out much,and not a single one of these tantalizing tastes had ever crossed my palate.We talked it over and decided to try the four that we thought had the nicest ring to them: The Battle Between Bo and Hei,Mother and Child Holding Hands,Strolling Down a Lush Country Lane,and Marriage of Xiao Erhei.

Not long after,the wait staffcame to the table,plates in hand,and began dutifully serving up those esoteric eatables,which turned out to be pretty plain.The Battle Between Bo and Hei was just Spinach Fried Black Fungus,Mother and Child Holding Hands was just Stir-fried Soybeans with Soybean Sprouts,and Strolling Down a Lush Country Lane was just Pigs Feet on a Bed of Parsley.But the one that really chapped my hide—Marriage of Xiao Erhei—was nothing but a putrid pair of preserved duck eggs!

(FromHumor and Jokes,September 2020.Translation:Chase Coulson)