Love Across Rivers and Mountains

Text by Wu Huaqing,Hu Man ＆ Yang Lin

Edited by Bai Ning

In the past decade,Fan Honghua,a Han mother,traveled between the snowy plateau and metropolitan Wuhan time and again,to help raise Nimalam,a Tibetan girl who has now grown up into a pretty,healthy,and smiling teenager from a helpless and desperate girl.

W ith wavy dancing steps and flowing skirts,a graceful figure was whirling on the stage in the accompaniment of the melody of“Velvet Flower.”On November 11,2020,at the Art College of Tibet University,Nimalam,a 16-year-old Tibetan girl and freshman was performing the danceFang Huawith ease and confidence.

In Wuhan,more than 2,200 kilometers away,Fan Honghua was watching the girl dancing in a video,with tears rolling down her cheeks.This love that has crossed nationalities and transcended blood ties has been full of hardships,yet warm and steady throughout.

This mother-daughter relationship began on a summer day in July 2007.

10 余年里，从雪域高原到江城武汉，从无助的瘦弱女孩到笑靥如花的亭亭少女，汉族妈妈范红华用如海的母爱在藏族女孩尼玛拉姆的心里播下温暖的种子，种子一路发芽、长大，鲜花一样绽放……

轻移莲步，罗裙蹁跹，伴随着《绒花》柔美的音乐，一个轻盈的身姿在舞台上尽情舒展。2020年11月11日，在西藏大学艺术学院，今年刚考入该校的新生、16 岁藏族女孩尼玛拉姆深情地演绎着舞蹈《芳华》。

而在相隔2200余公里的武汉，看着视频里的孩子，两行热泪顺着妈妈范红华的脸颊流淌着，浸润到嘴角，咸咸的，一如这份跨越民族、超越血亲的情缘，饱含艰涩，但温暖而坚定。

这份母女情缘，始于2007年7月的一个夏日。

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那天，时任武汉市青年企业家协会副会长的范红华，与几位青年企业家一起，来到西藏自治区原山南地区乃东县，捐资25 万元建设颇章乡格拉村希望小学，让村里孩子结束步行数公里去外地上学的奔波之苦。捐赠仪式上，范红华向当地干部流露出想资助一名孤儿的想法。

“有个叫尼玛拉姆的藏族女孩，出生时，母亲难产去世。4 岁时，父亲又在一次泥石流中遇难。孩子由姨妈代养，可姨妈也有两个女儿，家庭并不宽裕，没法照顾好这个孩子。”一名干部介绍。范红华决心资助尼玛拉姆。回汉后，她定期给尼玛拉姆寄去学费、生活费和礼物，还不时与尼玛拉姆通电话。2009年国庆节，范红华再度奔赴西藏，去见见这个未曾谋面的小女孩。

6 岁的尼玛拉姆耷拉着脑袋，悄悄瞥了一眼这个远道而来的阿姨，就怯生生地躲到姨妈身后。瘦小、浑身污垢，一根根橡皮筋紧紧地扎在头发上。范红华看着，心中疼着，拿起梳子轻轻地梳着尼玛拉姆的头发，泪水夺眶而出，她决定给这个可怜的孩子真正的母爱！

“愿意让我当你的妈妈吗？”范红华试探地问。看着范红华爱怜的眼神，小尼玛拉姆迟疑片刻后轻轻地点了点头。范红华和她约定，试住3 个月，如果不适应，可以随时回西藏。征得孩子姨妈同意后，第二天，从未出过远门的尼玛拉姆，紧紧拉着范妈妈的手，从拉萨飞成都、再飞到武汉，晕机严重，吐了一路，范红华小心翼翼地照顾着。

One day,Fan Honghua,the then vice president of the Wuhan Young Entrepreneurs Association,together with several young entrepreneurs,went to Nêdong County,the former Shannan Prefecture of Tibet Autonomous Region and made a donation of 250,000 yuan to build a Hope Primary School in Gela Village,Pozhang Township so that local children didn’t have to walk several kilometers to go to school any more.At the donation ceremony,Fan Honghua told local officials that she wanted to sponsor an orphan.

“There is a girl named Nimalam,whose mother died of dystocia during birth and father got killed in a mudslide when she was 4.The child is now cared for by her aunt,who has two daughters herself.The family is not well-off enough to take care of her,” A local official told Fan Honghua,and she quickly decided to sponsor Nimalam.After returning to Wuhan,she regularly mailed Nimalam tuition fees,living expenses,and gifts,and called her from time to time.On National Day of 2009,Fan Honghua went to Tibet to meet this little girl in person for the first time.

6-year-old Nimalam hung down her head,hiding behind her aunt timidly,quietly glancing at the woman who had come all this way to see her.

Looking at this skinny and dirty girl,with hair tightly pulled together by many rubber bands,Fan Honghua felt her heart aching.In tears,she picked up a comb and gently made up the little girl’s hair.She was determined at that moment to give this poor child true maternal love.

“Will you let me be your mother?” Fan Honghua asked tentatively.Feeling the love and care in her eyes,little Nimalam nodded gently after a brief hesitation.Fan Honghua made an agreement with her that they would have a trial period of 3 months.If Nimalam couldn’t adapt to life in Wuhan with her,she could return to Tibet at any time.With the consent of her aunt,Nimalam,who had never traveled before,boarded the plane with Fan Honghua the next day.She held onto her new mom’s hand tightly and flew from Lhasa to Chengdu and then to Wuhan.Fan Honghua took care of her carefully when the little girl suffered from heavy airsickness and vomited along the way.

Although Fan Honghua felt fully prepared mentally,she was still at a loss as to how to get along with a Tibetan girl due to different life habits and cultural customs,on top of the language barrier.

Fan Honghua prepared a big and clean room for Nimalam,where she especially put up a Tibetan landscape painting on the wall to help the little girl feel at home.Not long after Fan Honghua noticed that Nimalam tended to kick the quilt off at night.One night,she went into her room and tried to cover her,yet unexpectedly the girl was startled and woke up from her sleep.Her horrified and defensive eyes struck Fan Honghua deeply,who realized that her heart seemed to be walled up.She locked herself inside her mind and kept others out.Sometimes,the girl would cry for more than an hour for no reason.When asked why,she had no response.

During the 3 months,their communication went on not so smoothly.But out of her expectation,at the end of the trial period,Nimalam told her uneasily that she would like to stay,which made Fan Honghua very happy.After that,Fan Honghua reduced her social obligations and devoted herself to looking after Nimalam.From diet arrangements to clothing and dressing,from school work to hygiene habits,Fan Honghua was hands-on in everything in hope of spending more time with Nimalam.She would take her to a Tibetan restaurant in Hankou every week to drink butter tea and recall the taste of her hometown.Through a friend’s help she managed to find a young lady from Nêdong in Tibet who was now working in Wuhan.She invited the young lady to visit her home to talk and play with Nimalam.Moreover,she enrolled Nimalam in the Taipei Road Primary School,and hired a tutor to teach Nimalam Chinese and a nanny to take care of her daily life.

Fan Honghua is celebrating Nimalam’s birthday on October 8,2016 2016年10月8日，范红华为尼玛拉姆庆祝生日

虽然范红华已做好充分的心理准备，但因生活习惯不同、语言交流障碍、文化习俗差异，如何与这个藏族孩子相处，范红华感到一片茫然。

范红华将家里一间宽敞明亮的房间收拾出来，贴上西藏风景画，让尼玛拉姆安顿下来。刚回家不久，范红华就发现尼玛拉姆夜晚爱踢被子。一天深夜，范红华轻轻地走进她的房间，悄悄给尼玛拉姆盖上被子。不料，孩子从睡梦中惊醒。那惊恐和抵触的眼神，刹那间刻进范红华的脑海，挥之不去。范红华发现孩子内心有一道坚冰。她走不出来，别人也走不进去。有时，她会莫名其妙地哭上一个多小时。问她原因，也没有任何回应。

3 个月里，交流一直在磕绊中进行。但出乎范红华预料的是，试住期满后，尼玛拉姆忐忑地告诉她想留下。范红华很高兴。那段时间，范红华推掉所有的应酬，全身心投入尼玛拉姆的生活中，从饮食安排到穿衣搭配，从学习辅导到卫生习惯培养，事必躬亲，只是为了多和孩子在一起。她每周带着尼玛拉姆去汉口的一家西藏餐厅，喝酥油茶，品尝“家乡的味道”；她还托朋友帮忙，找到一位在武汉工作的西藏乃东女孩到家里做客，陪尼玛拉姆说话、玩耍；同时，她把尼玛拉姆安排到台北路小学，并请专门的老师教她学汉语，生活上则雇请一位保姆予以照料。

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2011年一个秋日的深夜，尼玛拉姆突然发起高烧，忙碌一天刚躺下的范红华摸着女儿滚烫的额头，心急如焚，背起女儿就往附近医院跑。那晚，范红华抱着孩子往返于医院的各个窗口办手续，陪女儿输液到凌晨两点多。母爱悄无声息，却一点点融进尼玛拉姆的心里。

“趴在妈妈温暖的背上，我觉得自己是世界上最幸福的孩子。”回忆起当年的一幕，尼玛拉姆脸上满是惬意。

2012年8月，陪尼玛拉姆回西藏，范红华突然发起高烧，伴着强烈高原反应，硬扛几天后，她卧床不起。“快回武汉治疗，不然你有生命危险。”同行的医生朋友下了道命令。“不行，我陪孩子一起来，就要陪孩子一起回去。”几天的惊心总算化险为夷，尼玛拉姆更深深体味到母亲的那份呵护与执着。

On June 5,2019,the mother and daughter taking a new photo at the same site where they first met ten years ago 2019年6月5日，在母女第一次见面10年后，范红华和尼玛拉姆在原址再次拍照留念

One nightin the autumn of 2011,Nimalam suddenly got sick and developed a high fever.Having just come back home after a long busy day at work,Fan Honghua was distraught by the girl’s hot forehead.She picked the girl up and ran to the closest hospital.That night,Fan Honghua went back and forth among various departments in the hospital,handling procedures with the girl on her back.She stayed by Nimalam’s side until she finished her intravenous drips at two o’clock in the middle of the night.Her love was silent,which melted Nimalam’s heart little by little.

“I felt like the luckiest child in the world on my mother’s warm back.” Recalling the scene that year,Nimalam had a happy smile on her face.

In August of 2012,while visiting Tibet with Nimalam,Fan Honghua suddenly fell ill and developed a high fever,accompanied by strong altitude sickness.After two days it got worse and she couldn’t get out of bed.“Go back to Wuhan for treatment,or your life will be in danger,” The doctor warned her.

一次偶然的机会，范红华带尼玛拉姆去唱歌。话语不多的尼玛拉姆居然主动拿过话筒，有模有样地唱起来。和着优美的旋律，她还扭动腰肢，跳起了藏族舞蹈。那一刻，范红华兴奋极了，她仿佛看到了孩子的天资和兴趣，决定让孩子学音乐。她聘请了专业的音乐和舞蹈老师，每周两次教孩子唱歌、跳舞。尼玛拉姆一度觉得训练枯燥，心里打起退堂鼓。范红华边给孩子按腿，边鼓励孩子不要放弃，努力做下去才能成功。

尼玛拉姆的内心开始和妈妈贴近了。在范红华的精心照料下，尼玛拉姆的身心发着变化：来时灰土的脸色，慢慢有了红润；瘦弱的身材，渐渐有些丰盈；原来沉默寡言，现在也主动打开了话匣子。

2016年1月的一天，范红华的母亲因心梗突然离世，悲痛万分的她守候在母亲的灵堂，任泪水在脸上流淌。尼玛拉姆掏出小手绢，为妈妈擦拭眼泪，不肯去睡觉，执意陪妈妈到天亮。范红华感觉到孩子有颗滚烫的心，一把搂紧尼玛拉姆，母女俩不禁热泪奔涌。

平日里，范红华还带着女儿参加各种公益活动。去希望小学看望留守儿童；走进孝感农村福利院，为爷爷、奶奶穿棉衣；到儿童福利院，送上亲手挑选的礼物……从受助到助人，尼玛拉姆有了另一份收获。

在升初中、高中的人生节点，范红华都陪着孩子一遍遍地参观学校，反复比较、分析，充分尊重孩子的选择；尼玛拉姆手术了，范红华彻夜守在病床旁，给她换药；范红华还特意把孩子的支付宝捆绑到自己的银行卡上，让她有当家的感觉，给孩子存在感、归属感，让她变得自信、自立。

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如今，那个身穿藏族服饰、脸庞黝黑的小女孩，已变得亭亭玉立。她喜欢牵着妈妈的手，头靠在妈妈肩膀上亲密耳语。在旁人眼中，尼玛拉姆和妈妈范红华是一对亲密无间的母女。范红华特意给尼玛拉姆买了部智能手机。用藏语和姨妈、姐姐分享开心事，成了尼玛拉姆的日常。

On October 8,2009,Fan Honghua and Nimalam meeting for the first time in Nêdong County,Shannan Prefecture,Tibet2009年10月8日，范红华和尼玛拉姆在西藏山南地区乃东县第一次见面

But Fan Honghua refused to leave,“No,I came with my child,and I must go back with her.”Luckily she eventually managed through the hard times and got better.Her maternal love and dedication as a mother were felt by young Nimalam.

On one occasion,Fan Honghua took Nimalam to Karaoke.Unexpectedly,the usually quiet girl showed interest for the first time by picking up the microphone and singing nicely.She even twirled a bit and started doing a Tibetan dance to go with the beautiful melody.Fan Honghua was surprised and impressed by the child’s potential talent and interest.She decided to let her learn music and hired professional teachers to teach her singing and dancing twice a week.Once,Nimalam felt the training boring and wanted to give up.Fan Honghua massaged her legs and encouraged her not to give up,since success has to be won by hard work.

Nimalam got closer and closer to her foster mother.Under Fan Honghua’s care,Nimalam went through physical and mental changes.The sallow,small,stringy,and reticent girl became rosy-cheeked,stronger,talkative,and active.

In January of 2016,Fan Honghua’s mother died due to a heart attack.She kept vigil in her mother’s mourning hall with grief and couldn’t help her tears.Nimalam took out her small handkerchief to wipe her tears away and insisted on staying up with her until dawn.Fan Honghua felt the child’s love for her,and hugged Nimalam tightly.The mother and daughter cried together.

In their spare time,Fan Honghua would take Nimalam to various charity activities,such as visiting left-behind children at Hope Primary School,helping old people dress up at the Xiaogan Rural Welfare House,giving gifts to children in the orphanage,and other acts of kindness.From being helped to helping others,Nimalam learned a lot.

At important milestones like entering junior high and senior high school,Fan Honghua was always there for her daughter.She accompanied her to check out different schools,comparing and analyzing in order to find the ones she liked best; she fully respected her choice; when Nimalam had an operation,Fan Honghua stayed by her side in the hospital all night; she linked Nimalam’s Alipay to her bank card to give the child more financial freedom,so that she would feel at home.The sense of belonging has made Nimalam more confident and independent.

The little shy girlin Tibetan clothes 10 years ago has grown into a slim and pretty young lass,who enjoys holding her foster mother’s hand and sharing secrets on her shoulder.Nimalam and Fan Honghua have an intimate and close relationship even in bystanders’ eyes.Fan Honghua bought Nimalam a smartphone so that she could share happy things with her aunt and cousins in Tibet on a daily basis.

Fan Honghua and Nimalam still kept their agreement to return to Tibet at least once a year.When the summer vacation came,they would go on a big shopping trip and prepare presents for Nimalam’s family members in Tibet.Thoughtful Fan Honghua would always prepare a red envelope especially for Nimalam’s aunt.

Fan Honghua’s deeds have influenced many people around her.Deng Yanping,Nimalam’s dance teacher,would look after Nimalam when Fan Honghua was out on business trips; Song Jiani,the headteacher in Nimalam’s elementary school,went to Fan Honghua’s home every day after school to help with Nimalam’s homework for 5 years.On the day of the graduation ceremony,Nimalam held Song Jiani’s hand to express her thanks with tears.

On October 27,2014,Fan Honghua and the children on the first Volunteer Charity Carnival of Hubei Province (Photos provided by Fan Honghua)2014年10月27日，范红华带孩子们参加首届湖北省志愿者公益嘉年华（照片均为范红华提供）

Nimalam wrote in her diary,“I once thought I was the most unfortunate person in the world until my foster mother showed up and slowly lifted the big rock in my heart with love.In Wuhan,I had my mother and brother,as well as many people who have given me a lot of love,like Mrs.Deng and Mrs.Song.Because of their love,I no longer fear the wind and rain in my life.”

Nimalam has kept many photos and videos of her and mum in her mobile phone album.Below the blue sky and white clouds of Tibet,Fan Honghua and Nimalam walked arm in arm along the beautiful lake down the snow-capped mountains.In 2020,Nimalam was successfully admitted to Tibet University,which brought Fan Honghua a lot of joy.

The story between Fan Honghua and Nimalam was reported by the media and known by the public,which moved every reader and listener.On October 15,2020,Fan Honghua was nominated for the 11th “China Charity Award.” (Translation:Lu Qiongyao)

每年至少回一次西藏家乡，范红华和尼玛拉姆有一个不变的约定。放暑假了，尼玛拉姆会和妈妈一道，到商场采购一大堆礼物。细心的范红华还会特地包一个大红包，给尼玛拉姆的姨妈。

范红华的大爱，感动着身边的人。有时，范红华出差了，舞蹈老师邓燕萍会把尼玛拉姆接到自己家住几天。小学班主任宋佳倪每天放学后，都坚持到范红华家，悉心辅导尼玛拉姆作业，坚持了5年。小学毕业典礼的那天，尼玛拉姆令人意外地拉起宋佳倪的手，轻语道谢，泪眼婆娑。

“曾经，我觉得我是世界上最不幸的人，妈妈用爱心把我心头的那块大石头慢慢撬起。在武汉，我不仅有了妈妈、哥哥，还有了邓妈妈、宋老师等许许多多的亲人，她们给予了我很多的爱，让我不再畏惧风雨。”尼玛拉姆的日记里记录着一句句这样的心语。

在尼玛拉姆的手机相册里，保存着这些年她和妈妈回西藏的照片和视频。蓝天白云下，范红华和尼玛拉姆手挽着手，漫步雪山下的美丽湖畔。2020年，尼玛拉姆顺利考上西藏大学，这是范红华心中最深切的慰藉。

媒体报道后，这个感人的故事走进公众的视野，感动着每一位读者和听众。2020年10月15日，范红华被提名第十一届“中华慈善奖”。