似曾相识

周海祺

Neighbors who came across the old colonel lately, on one or several of his many saunters along the banks of the Suzhou river, often described him as drifting in some dreamy trance. Indeed, having devoted his youth to a life, literally, on bullets and knives, it was not in the colonel’s nature to settle down. In the past, neighbors observed, the colonel had an unspoken habit to never sit during his walks, inching a foot in front another as briskly as a man of his age can, with the help of a crimson spruce walking stick that thuds rhythmically against the ground. But just yesterday afternoon, multiple witnesses reported spotting the colonel rest upon a dilapidated wooden bench facing the river, staring at perhaps the monotonous ripples of water, and seemed not to hear greetings from neighbors for the first ten seconds he was spoken to.

最近，老上校多次在苏州河岸边散步，偶然遇到他的邻居们都说他有点恍恍惚惚的样子。事实上，上校把他的青春都奉献给了枪林弹雨，他本来是个不愿意安定下来的人。以往，邻居们都知道，上校有个不动声色的习惯，他散步时从不坐下来歇息，只用一根深红色云杉手杖有节奏地敲打地面，然后颤巍巍地拖着后面的脚，挪到另外一只脚前面来，就像他这样年纪的老年人那样。但就在昨天下午，多名目击者说，他们看见上校躺在一张破旧的木凳上，面对着那条河，眼睛盯着单调的水波纹，在邻居们和他说话的最初十秒钟里，他都似乎没有听到邻居们的问候。

The neighborhood was small, its residents generally rich, which left them few chores to attend to during the day—two prime components for gossip to spread with range and alacrity. By the time the old colonel’s son returned from work,rottenly exhausted, he was the last in the household of four—that is, himself, the colonel, his wife, and his son, Yu—to be in on the discovery of the colonel’s shifting way, save for the colonel himself. Soon as the man trudged over the door, his wife started unleashing all the day’s accumulated chatter, but the man merely nodded along at random times as she spoke,propped his working bag against the wall, and sank into the sofa, eyes closed.

这个社区很小，居民们都很富裕，他们在一天中几乎没有什么家务事可做，这个原因使得八卦总能大范围快速传播。当老上校的儿子下班回来的时候，疲惫不堪的他，成了家里四个人中最后一个发现上校转变的人，当然这不包括上校本人。这个家庭有四个人，他自己、上校、他的妻子和他的儿子小于。当这个男人拖着疲惫的步伐走到家门口时，他的妻子便开始滔滔不绝地讲起了她一整天累积的喋喋不休的话语。当她说话时，这个男人只是随便点了点头，把他的工作包靠在墙上，然后闭上眼睛坐在沙发上。

Son of a prominent colonel, the pervasive hardships of the Republic’s early days were often knowledge derived from lore of less fortunate contemporaries. Like the river that constantly to his four-story mansion, like the vrooming vehicles streaming down the adjacent highway, adversity, in the shape of grievous struggle, had never slowed his life.

作为一个声名显赫的上校的儿子，共和国早期普遍存在的困难往往来自于同时代不那么幸运的人的说法。就像那条不断涌向他四层豪宅的河流，就像呼啸而过的汽车在附近的公路上川流不息，以痛苦挣扎的形式出现的逆境从来没有妨碍过他的生活。

Despite his fortune, he was cultivated not as a flimsy flower in the greenhouse, but rather raised going through artificial ordeals, like a rose tended by a malicious gardener, sometimes receiving too much water, sometimes too little. His colonel father, during the liberation war, had seen the worst of it, had been through living hell. The colonel was privy to the ingredients that mold a man, the conditions suitable for the forging of will and soul. So he permitted no academic failings of any kind, sent his son to military training camps in the rare free times during summer, and made sure his son completed all capable tasks on his own, which finally, as he saw in earnest, earned his son a rise to the top.

尽管他很有钱，但他并不是作为温室里的一朵脆弱的花朵一样被栽培的，而是在考验下被养大。就像被有恶意的园丁照料的玫瑰，有时浇水太多，有时浇水又太少。他的上校父亲，在解放战争期间，见多了最糟糕的场面，也经历过人间地狱。上校了解培养成才的要素，以及塑造意志和灵魂的必备条件。因此，他不允许任何形式的挂科，在夏季难得的空闲时间把儿子送到军训营，并确保儿子独立完成所有应该完成的任务。最终，正如他热切期待的那样，为儿子赢得了晋升到顶尖岗位的机会。

* * *

The wife wanted to talk. She was a kettle that just started to boil. How’s your day, she said. I bought some grapes for all of us. Some mangoes, too. You heard about Grandpa? Thought he’d never get old. So many battles, and still can’t fight time, can he.

妻子还想继续唠叨。她像是一个刚开始沸腾的水壶。“今天过得怎么样”，她说。“我给家里买了一些葡萄，还有芒果。你听说爷爷的事了吧?我还以为他永远不会变老。历经这么多的战争，却仍然不能战胜岁月，是吧。”

The man kept his eyelids shut. Of course the Colonel was getting old. No need to fuss about that. But the stream of mouse clicks and keyboard hits that have been flowing from Yu’s room for a while now—that was what impeded the man’s work and troubled his sleep.

男人闭上了眼皮。上校当然是老了。没有必要为此大惊小怪。但现在，从小于的房间里传来的持续不断的鼠标点击和键盘敲击的声音，不仅妨碍了他的工作，也影响了他的睡眠。

For the greater number of Yu’s eleven years he had led an unrestrained life, largely due to a grandfather who commanded far less authority than his former title indicated and a father busier than the president, a circumstance eliciting envy from the bulk of Yu’s overworked peers. Other than the plethora of video games that he engages himself with,which for him usually ended in more defeats than victory, he had, in a large measure, obtained what he wanted from the world—unnecessarily pricey skateboards (not that he actually skates), desktops too advanced for his age, a pure and adorable ragdoll cat, amid other things of the sort. He was not so much spoiled as he was oblivious to the other walks of life, and as a result of perpetual contentment, knew life to hold no grander purpose. So when Yu was told of holiday plans to go mountain climbing, he was not quite sure if he had heard right.

11岁的小于在大部分时间里，都过着无拘无束的生活，这主要是因为他的祖父不再有像他以前头衔所附带的权威，而他的父亲比国家主席还要忙，这让小于那些过度劳累的同龄人羡慕不已。除了在他痴迷的电子游戏上，他也常常负多胜少。在很大程度上，他得到了他想要的所有东西：昂贵的滑板(实际上他也很少玩儿)；对于他的年龄来说太高配的台式电脑；一只纯种可爱的布偶猫，和其他类似的很多东西。他并不是被宠坏了，而是对社会的方面都一无所知。由于他总是在物质上得到满足，因此对于生活失去了大的目标。当小于被告知假期计划去爬山时，他当然不太确定自己是否听错了。

Mountain climbing? said Yu, even looking away from the flashing screen for a second, to locate the origin of this absurd suggestion, his voice a mix of incredulity and sarcasm. The virtual figure on his screen that was expecting orders went stiff for a split second and, after a wave of remorseless enemy fire, dissolved into darkness. The once color-filled screen entered a depressing state of black and white.

“爬山吗?”小于说，他甚至把目光从闪烁的屏幕上挪开了一秒钟，想看看是谁提出这个荒谬的提议，他的声音混杂着怀疑和讥讽。他屏幕上期待着指令的虚拟人物在一瞬间变得僵硬，终于在敌人一波无情的炮火之后，消失在黑暗中，而刚才彩色的游戏画面也进入了沉闷的黑白状态。

Yes, mountain climbing, the father replied. His son could take some time away from his video games, he himself could use some rest before more work, and the colonel could get some more exercise in now that such opportunities dwindle with his time.

“是的，爬山。”父亲回答。他的儿子可以暂时不玩电子游戏，他自己也可以在继续工作之前休息一下，上校也可以多做些锻炼，毕竟对于老上校来说这样的机会随着时间的流逝会越来越少。

Attributing the source of stupor entirely to Yu’s inertia would be a great injustice, for the usual destination of his travels were among the likes of Disneyland and Universal Studio, places that guaranteed iced shakes every ten steps and airconditioned chambers every five more. Even then the day ran the possibility of falling short, for Yu’s unrefined legs, after extended periods of labor, had the tendency to sink into the ground like melted cheese. On such occasions the family had to unavoidably accommodate Yu’s need for a proper resting of feet. It follows that the prospect of mountain climbing posed both a psychological nuisance and a physical impossibility.

把小于的麻木完全归咎于他的惰性是极不公平的，因为他通常旅行的目的地都是迪斯尼乐园和环球影城这样的地方，这些地方保证每十步就会有冰奶昔，每五步就会有装有空调的室内活动空间。即便如此，这些出游也有可能随时结束。因为小于缺少锻炼的双腿，经过长时间的劳作后，有可能会坐地不起，就像融化的奶酪一样沉入地下。在这种情况下，家里就不得不出于照顾小于的双脚需要，时不时歇息一下了。因此，这个登山的提法不仅造成了心理上的困扰，从小于的体能方面来看也几乎是不大可行。

Yet there was a tone of finality in his father’s voice, a swift determinant of fate that made Yu relinquish all rehearsed tantrums that he would usually throw. The wife was adamant about staying behind. Said she couldn’t bear leaving their adorable ragdoll cat alone at home. The father grudgingly agreed, realizing that the cat, over the years, had risen to become her major company. The departing train arrived half past eight on a Saturday; normally, Yu would have still been in his Victorian bed, hardly out of his sleep. But today the father had been determined, and insisted the three appear well-packed and ready to go, and wait on the platform for the bullet train to show up. In fact, the father had deliberately chosen a train over a plane, the latter being their usual mode of transportation. He recently read a report detailing the number of citizens who never enjoyed the privilege of being on a plane in his country, a shocking statistic which tapped directly upon his pool of impersonal sympathy. It was only after Yu boarded the train, and sought, to no avail, a designated seat for luggage and seating, did he hesitantly confront his father regarding this inexplicable mystery.

然而，他父亲的声音里有一种不容更改的语气，这迅速让小于放弃了所有他通常会发的脾气。妻子坚持要留下来。她说无法忍受把可爱的布偶猫独自留在家里。父亲勉强同意了，意识到这只猫这么多年来已经成为了她的主要陪伴。出发的火车在星期六早上八点半到达。通常情况下，小于还会躺在他维多利亚款式的床上，多数情况下还在睡梦中。但今天，这位父亲已经下定了决心，他坚持要他们三个人打包好，准备出发，在站台上等待高铁列车的到来。事实上，这位父亲特意选择了火车而不是飞机，虽然飞机是他们通常的交通工具。他最近读到一份报告，其中详细列出了国内从未乘坐飞机的公民人数，这一令人震惊的统计数字直接触动了他的同情心。直到他们上了火车，想找到对应的能放行李的座位，但没有成功，小于才迟疑地去见父亲，告诉父亲这件令他费解的事。

“I bought us standing tickets,”the father announced, excited and solemn,“really, it’s a good experience. Always nice to have a taste of different things.”

“我给咱俩买了站票，”父亲激动而严肃地宣布，“真的，这是一次很好的经历：尝试不同的东西总是好的。”

The colonel, though, was rightfully offered a seat in the first-class cabin. Even by old men standards he had been through a lot. He was still robust enough, but age had carved itself onto his face. His belly swelled like a parenthesis underneath his unimpressively gray woolen shirt, which hung loosely around his body. It was hard to deduce the glory of his former days from his current state, a mere relic of an outdated epoch. Strapped to his belt was a black pistol, an antique like himself. A general had bestowed the pistol to him for exceptional valor during the Changsha Counterattack, an object that had since acquired an enchanted value. The colonel received permission to carry it with him at all times, even after the war ended, but it had never once been fired, nor did anyone ever notice, with the gun being small and hidden behind clothing. Privately, Yu found it quite funny. He didn’t believe it even would still fire, and joked to himself that his grandpa carried it to ward off Death.

上校当然被安排了商务舱的座位。即使以老年人的标准来看，他也经历了很多。他仍然很健壮，但岁月已经在他的脸上刻下了痕迹。他的肚子鼓鼓的，像个括号，下面是他那件不起眼的灰色羊毛衫，宽松地挂在身上。他像一个过气时代的遗留物，从他现在的状态中很难推断出他过去的辉煌。他的腰带上系着一支黑色手枪，是像他一样的古董。在长沙的反击战中，由于他的英勇表现，将军将这把手枪赠予了他，从此，这把手枪就被赋予了特殊的价值。上校得到允许，可以随时佩戴它，甚至在战争结束后也不例外，但这把枪从未开过一枪，也没有人注意到，因为它很小，藏在腰后的衣服里。私下里，小于觉得这很有趣。他甚至不相信它还能开火，并开玩笑说，爷爷是佩戴着它来躲避死亡的。

The colonel rested his head against the windowpane, its coldness tangible but refreshing, like a temporary antidote tohis decelerating mind, which seemed to grow foggier each day. The train sped North, leaving behind forests of concrete and the throngs of human that inhabited it. Dunes of soil, brown, green, or sometimes gold, dominated the view outside. Now and then a herd of sheep and cattle caused a wave of exclamations from the passengers, who’d never before so much as seen real livestock with flesh and bones, but the animals themselves did not realize they had become the center of attention. They continued to chew on the grass, saturating the air with the stench of their manure that, for a moment, polluted the train cabin, inciting frowns and groans. Yet in a matter of seconds they vanished out of sight, disappearing from the lives of those exclaiming onlookers forever.

上校把头靠在窗玻璃上，窗上虽能感受到凉意，但却能提神，就像一剂暂时的解药，缓解他那开始迟钝的头脑，他的头脑似乎一天比一天混沌了。火车向北飞驰，掠过密集的建筑和居住在这些建筑中熙熙攘攘的人。沙丘的土壤，棕色，绿色，有时是金色，构成了外面的景色。一群牛羊不时引起旅客们一阵惊叫，他们从来没有见过真正的有骨有肉的牲畜，但是动物们自己并没有意识到他们已经成为了大家关注的中心。他们继续嚼着青草，空气中弥漫着粪便的恶臭，一时间污染了火车车厢，引起了人们的皱眉和抱怨。然而，就在几秒钟后，它们就从人们的视线中消失了，永远从那些惊呼的旁观者的生活中消失了。

* * *

The family felt, rather saw, the looming presence of Mount Hua. The father was driving a Volkswagen Touareg rented after they got off the train, and as they closed in on their destination, a never-ending trickle of local merchants endeavored to tout them poorly manufactured binoculars and fridge magnets portraying famous local attractions, but the father was dubious if they could actually stick. Others tried to sell sugar-coated haws that had remained unsold for a century. The vendors waited by the roadsides, scouting tourists, like vultures biding their time to feed. They latched onto any unsuspecting cars, stopped them in their paths, then dove into a lengthy prattle on the divine worthiness of their identical products. The father soon became irritated, started telling them to go away and jammed the accelerator so he no longer posed an easy target. Yu, however, sitting in the back seat, didn’t mind that their trip was being slowed down. The two prolonged hours of standing on the train had been no fond experience, and of all people, he could use some time to breath before the start of another treacherous journey.

这家人感觉到了，更确切地说是看到了隐现的华山。父亲驾驶着一辆他们下车后租赁的大众途锐，当他们快抵达目的地时，不断有当地商贩向他们兜售劣质的望远镜和冰箱贴，冰箱贴正面是当地的著名景点，但是父亲却怀疑那些冰箱贴是否真的能贴在冰箱上。还有其他小贩则试图兜售一个世纪都未卖出去的糖葫芦。小贩们在路边等待着，搜寻着游客，就像秃鹫等待时机进食一样。他们紧紧靠近任何一辆毫无防备的汽车，把他们拦在路上，然后就开始喋喋不休地谈论他们的产品的神圣价值。这位父亲很快就被激怒了，他开始让他们走开，并猛踩油门，这样他就不会再成为容易攻击的目标。然而，坐在后座的小于并不介意他们的行程被放慢。在火车上站了两个小时可不是什么愉快的经历。在这些商贩的骚扰中，他可以喘口气，然后再开始另一段危险的旅程。

The colonel had been very much awake and aware on the train—a rare glimpse of land and livestock beyond city limits was not to be missed. A reminder of the Republic when it was first being built. But as the limousine traveled on,his eyelids drooped, eventually succumbing to a dreamy slumber. He was twenty-five, give or take a few years. The rifle in his hands weighed more than it should. He wrapped his fingers around the trigger, the other hand clutching the gun’s extending front overly tight. Bullets zizzed past his head; shouts exploded from all directions. He wasn’t sure which was louder, the nonstop firing or the deafening vibration of his screaming heart. His unit lured the enemy up a steep mountain passage, a holdout which they were determined to defend. He didn’t flinch when the bodies of comrades went limp besidehim, all life sucked out, nor did he wince at the wails of agony, the aftermath of landed projectiles. His mind was purged of all thoughts, other than the one singular, remaining faith: Hold the enemy back at all cost.

上校在火车上很清醒——难得看到城市以外的风景和牲畜，这是不容错过的。这些让人想起刚成立时的共和国。但随着轿车继续行驶，他的眼皮耷拉下来，最终进入了梦幻般的睡眠。他回到了25岁，前后差不了几年。他手中的步枪感觉出奇的重。他的手指扣在扳机上，另一只手紧紧握着枪身。子弹从他头上呼啸而过；喊声从四面八方爆发出来。他不确定到底是不停的枪声响，还是他剧烈心跳更加让他振聋发聩。他的队伍引诱敌人爬上一条陡峭的山道，这是他们必守的一个阵地。当战友们的尸体在他身旁歪歪扭扭地倒下，面对生命被吞噬，他没有退缩；当炮弹落地时，他也没有在战友们痛苦的哀号中退缩。他的头脑里一片空白，除了一个唯一的信念：不惜一切代价打退敌人。

The colonel woke to an indistinct humming of scattered conversations. For a moment, he wondered where he was and why he was there. Instinctively, his fingers reached for the pistol, which still leaned placidly on his belt. Its metallic texture never failed to soothe his nerves in times of agitation. They had reached an open field at the bottom of the mountain, where visitors parked their cars and proceeded toward the entrance of the scenic trails. Stepping down from the automobile with help from his son, a part of him still lingered in that recurring trance. Ever since he surpassed sixty years of age, nights and naps were whiled away in an unremembering darkness. No dreams had invigorated his sleep for years, save for that scene of battle on a mountain, which was a genuine memory he could recall, a fragment of time from the prime of his life.If his mind was a depleting lake, with all other memories fading like water being drained, that replay of his youth was the sedimentary fossil unearthed from the riverbed, growing clearer as it gradually surfaced behind all the fluids.

上校醒来时听到零星的嗡嗡的谈话声。有那么一会儿，他都不知道自己在哪里，为什么会在这里。他的手指本能地伸向手枪，手枪仍然平静地靠在腰带上。在他激动的时候，它的金属质感总是能抚慰他的神经。他们来到了山脚下的一块空地，游客们把车停在那里，朝风景优美的小径的入口处走去。在儿子的帮助下，他从汽车里走下来，但身体的一部分仍然徘徊在那种反复出现的恍惚状态中。自从他六十多岁以后，夜晚和瞌睡就在令人忘记的黑暗中消逝了。多年来，除了那山头上的战斗场面，没有一个梦能使他的睡眠充满活力，那是他能回忆起的真实的记忆，是他生命黄金时期的片段。如果说他的头脑是一个逐渐枯竭的湖泊，所有的记忆都像水被抽干一样渐渐消逝，那么他的青春回放就是从河床上挖出来的沉积化石，随着它逐渐浮出水面，变得越来越清晰。

The father, mumbling some folksong, offered to purchase tickets. Yu quietly thanked the weather goddess for infecting his father with such cordial mood, that he did not object when Yu declined the invitation to purchase together, for Yu intended to busy himself with a mobile electronic battle game that he’d been itching to play all along. The momentary absence of his father unlocked his long suppressed urge. Under his command, a young soldier dexterously switched back and forth between shot guns, grenades, knives, rifles, dodging attacks of all kinds like an immaterial shadow. Yu’s fingers danced across the narrow phone screen, his eyes consumed by a remorseless determination to terminate all enemies. The number of opponents dwindled as the Rolex watch on his wrist ticked on, until he saw the approaching figure of his father return out of the corner of his eyes. No time to finish now, Yu thought, as he stuffed his phone back to his pocket to avoid a potential scolding, finally bringing down his puppet in the game, now immobile and at the mercy of all.

父亲低声唱着民歌，提出要去买景区门票。小于悄悄感谢天气女神让他的父亲感染了如此有亲和力的心情，以至于当小于拒绝了父亲一起去买票的要求，父亲并没有反对，因为小于本来是想忙着玩一款一直想玩的手机电子对战游戏。他父亲短暂的离开，释放了他长期压抑的欲望。在他的指挥下，一个年轻的士兵灵巧地在枪炮、手榴弹、刀、步枪之间来回切换，像一个无形的影子一样躲避各种攻击。小于的手指在狭窄的手机屏幕上舞动，他的眼睛里充满了消灭所有敌人的决心。随着他手腕上的劳力士手表滴答滴答地走着，敌人的数量逐渐减少，直到他从眼角的余光中看到父亲渐渐走近的身影。没时间接着打完这场游戏了，小于暗自思索着同时把手机揣进口袋，以免被骂，这一举动最终导致他操作的人物长时间AFK（挂机），现在因为被挂机，将任由敌人摆布。

* * *

The trail, initially consisting of rows of flat wooden planks, wide and welcoming, grew increasingly narrow as it gained in elevation. Stairs, made of blocks of unpolished, moss-plagued granite, silently endured the weight of a thinning horde of travelers. The atmosphere reeked a blended scent of photosynthesis and decaying wood.

这条小径最初是由一排排平坦的木板搭成的，宽大而舒适，随着地势的升高，逐渐变得狭窄。楼梯是用未打磨的长满苔藓的花岗岩砌成的，静静地承受着越走人越少的旅行者的重量。空气中弥漫着光合作用和腐烂木材的混合气味。

The father was in a great spirit to hike, strides sound, breathing rhythmic. His job, regardless of all the perks that came with it, rarely allowed the time for a brush with nature, or a rite of familial outing. He was the kind of person that maintained an applaudable level of fitness, despite a sedentary agenda which exercises were not a part of. Yu tagged along,not far behind his father. During the past hour he had asked for three water breaks and complained twice why it still wasn’t time to stop and turn back, but a mixture of pep talks, commands, and disguised coercion by his father prolonged his struggle. What intrigued him was the odd outburst of vigor his grandpa had begun to demonstrate. The colonel’s frail body frame had been emitting a disproportionate amount of energy ever since they entered the mountain trail. He showed no signs of weariness as the hour dragged on, was instead leading several turns ahead, almost out of vision.

父亲兴致勃勃地徒步走着，步态沉稳，呼吸有节奏。在他的工作中，不管有多少福利，他都很少有时间与大自然亲密接触，或者家庭郊游。他是那种保持着令人称赞的健康水平的人，尽管工作日程安排让他久坐不动，没有任何的锻炼时间。小于跟在父亲的后面不远。在过去的一个小时里，他曾三次要求喝水休息，两次抱怨为什么还不停下来回返，但他父亲的鼓励、命令和变相的胁迫使得他不得不继续前行。让他感兴趣的是他爷爷开始表现出的那种奇怪的爆发的活力。自从他们进入山路后，上校虚弱的身体就释放出了不成比例的能量。时间一小时一小时过去，他一点也不疲倦，反而在前面转了几个弯，几乎看不见了。

It was one of the rare occasions where Yu got close to the truth. The colonel had noticed a faint surge of familiarity swell up, not long after they began to hike along the trail, and as he trudged on the feeling was only magnified. Of course, certain constructions of the trail were additions of a later time. That he knew. Yet the position of twists and turns—he recalled them when the path was still a muddy mess—the combination of trees, reflected something eerily recognizable from a past he remembered only too well. There! Half a tree trunk, entirely charred, laid horizontally on the forest ground,obstructing the right side of the walkway. The colonel recalled passing by a burnt tree trunk some forty years ago, one possibly struck by lightning. Surely it had fallen, after all these years standing erect, while dying slowing on the inside. No longer did he hold more doubts. It was the exact place he fought till the end as a private, the very mountain that haunted him through all the rewinding nights.

这是小于难得的接近真相的机会。他们沿着小路走了不久，上校就注意到一种轻微的熟悉感涌上心头，当他在路上跋涉前行时，这种感觉更加强烈了。当然，这条小径的某些设施是后来的产物。这个他知道。然而，那些弯弯曲曲的地方——当他回想起当时的道路还是一片泥泞时——那些林木的组合，反映出某种他记忆中非常清楚的、令他毛骨悚然的东西。在那里！半根烧焦的树干横躺在森林的地面上，挡住了走道的右侧。上校回忆起，大约四十年前，他路过一棵可能被闪电击中烧焦的树干。它肯定是倒下了，在挺立了这么多年之后，从内部慢慢地死去。他不再怀疑了。这正是他作为一个列兵战斗到最后的地方，也是在整个倒转的夜晚萦绕着他的那片山地。

With each step the Colonel was recharged with an electrifying confidence. He could feel that long-absent adrenaline coursing through his veins, propelling his heart to crash against the ribcage, pounding to escape. When he was rescued by the main army, he never imagined returning, though the martyred bodies of his comrades were long branded into his soul.Fate was leading him back to the graveyard of a battlefield, he was sure of it; it had always been his duty to send his fellow soldiers to an eternally peaceful rest.

上校每前行一步，都充满了激动人心的信心。他能感觉到那消失已久的肾上腺素在他的血管里流动，推动着他的心脏撞向胸腔，并砰砰地跳动着想要跳出胸腔。当他后来被主力部队救起后，他从来没有想过会回去，尽管战友牺牲的尸体早已烙在他的灵魂里。他确信，命运正把他带回战场的那片墓地，他的职责就是让他的战友们得到永久的安息。

* * *

The mountain sky usually kept a stash of masks at her disposal, childishly switching one for another whenever she felt like it. What started as a gentle breeze soon transformed into a razor gale, swaying the trees, rocking their vociferous branches and leaves. The sun retired for the day and left the stage to adjoining gray clouds that covered the firmament.A drizzle, a shower, a downpour—rain’s evolution took no time at all and permitted no time to react. Within seconds the father and Yu were soaked, T-shirts adhering to their skin like swimming suits. The colonel was ahead of them, at the maximum range of sight and sound.

山区的天气通常似有一堆面具，只要它想，就会孩子气地换一个。一开始是一阵微风，但很快就变成了狂风，摇晃着树木，摇动着它们吵闹的树木枝叶。白天的太阳渐渐退去，把舞台留给了周围覆盖着苍穹的灰色云彩。一场毛毛雨，一场阵雨，一场倾盆大雨的演变不需要任何准备，也不留任何给人反应的时间。只几秒钟后，父亲和小于就浑身湿透了，T恤像泳衣一样粘在皮肤上。上校走在他们前面，在声音和视线可见的最大范围内。

The father shouted to get his attention. Bellowed, waved like a clown. Even Yu chimed in，“Grandpa，Come back.Grandpa，Time to go. Come back，Back. ”

父亲大声喊叫以期引起他的注意。他咆哮着，像小丑一样挥舞着手臂。就连小于也加入了进来，“爷爷，回来了。爷爷，该返回了。回来吧，回来。”

Hearing sounds, but not words, the colonel turned. He saw two figures through the rain, the taller brandishing his gun, the shorter stood to the side, howling taunts. Enemies were cunning, cold-blooded fiends, and they were upon him.Further down track were more sinister shadows, obscure but advancing amid the shaded mist.

上校听到了声音，但没听清在喊啥，他回过身来。他在雨中看见两个人影，个子高的挥舞着枪，个子矮的站在一边，大声辱骂着。敌人都是狡猾、冷血的恶魔，他们向他逼近。再往前，是一些更险恶的阴影，虽然看不清，但在朦胧的雾中向他移动。

Behind him dwelt the spirits of blood-bonded comrades, bracing for a deathly skirmish. Behind him the sacred land of the republic stretched, demanding from him a final stand. No time to lose now—the colonel, trembling, reached for his pistol, and after taking aim, pulled the trigger, sensing the shot.

在他身后，安置着战友们的灵魂，准备迎接一场殊死的战斗。在他身后，共和国神圣的土地伸展开来，要求他做最后的搏斗。没时间了，上校颤抖着摸出手枪，瞄准，扣动扳机，感觉到子弹出膛的后坐力。