适当拓展细节，提升作文档次

湖北松滋市第一中学 庞 群

高考趋势

近年来书面表达试题的开放性越来越强，只为考生提供一个笼统的写作提纲，要求考生围绕写作提纲进行适当地发挥，自主确定写作内容，这体现出高考对考生创新能力的考查。（半）开放性体现在试题既为考生提供了恰当的提示，又留有供其发挥的空间，既让低水平的考生有话可写，又让高水平的考生有展现自己语言表达能力的机会。但不同的细节拓展和发挥能显示学生不同的语言和思想水平，保证了试卷的区分度。

拓展技巧

1.交际性拓展

【例1】假定你是李华，正在教你的英国朋友Leslie学习汉语。请你写封邮件告知下次的上课计划，内容包括：

1.时间和地点；

2.内容：学习唐诗；

3.课前准备：简要了解唐朝的历史。

I am writing to tell you something about our next lesson.

→How is everything going?I'm more than delighted to witness your great progress in Chinese learning recently and I am writing to tell you something about our next lesson.

2.时间、地点拓展

【例2】假定你是李华，请给你的美国网友Mary写一封邮件，建议她报名参加今年暑假为期5天的四川成都熊猫饲养员的夏令营，报名网址是www.pandacamp.com。内容包括：

1.提出建议；

2.活动内容；

3.报名方式。

The camp lasts five days in Chengdu,Sichuan.

→The camp falls on July 15th and lasts five days in Chengdu,Sichuan,where you have been dreaming of travelling.

3.事例性拓展

【例3】假定你是李华，下周将有一些来自友好学校的英国师生到你校进行为期一周的访问和交流，请你代表学校给英方代表Mr Johns发一封邮件，内容包括：

1.表示欢迎；

2.活动及食宿安排；

3.活动目的。

A wide range of delicious food will be available for you to choose from.

→A wide range of delicious food will be available for you to choose from,including Guangzhou Cuisine, Shangdong Cuisine,Jiangsu Cuisine and Sichuan Cuisine.Whether you love spicy food or have a sweet tooth,Chinesecuisinewilldefinitelysatisfyyourappetite.

4.逻辑性拓展

【例4】假定你是李华，你的朋友Tom邀请你下周去他们学校参加文化交流活动并向外国朋友介绍中国的传统绘画，但你忙于准备期末考试，不得不谢绝邀请。内容包括：

1.谢绝邀请；

2.说明理由；

3.推荐朋友Mary参加，并说明原因。

I'd like to recommend my best friend Mary to you.First and foremost,having attended a summer school in Yale University last year,Mary excels undoubtedly at English.Besides,Mary has been obsessed with Chinese painting since she was a child and has learned it for more than ten years.

→I'd like to recommend my best friend Mary to you.First and foremost,having attended a summer school in Yale University last year,Mary excels undoubtedly at English,as a result of which,it is a piece of cake for her to introduce everything to international friends.Besides,Mary has been obsessed with Chinese painting since she was a child and has learned it for more than ten years.Therefore,she has a deep insight into the essence of this great art form and can introduce the glamour of the works well to the visitors.

5.过渡性拓展

【例5】假设你是红星中学的高三学生李华，你的英国朋友Jim在给你的邮件中提到他对中国文化感兴趣，计划明年来北京上大学，向你咨询相关信息。请给他回邮件，内容包括：

1.表示欢迎；

2.推荐他上哪所大学；

3.建议他做哪些准备工作。

You'd better grab the chance to study Chinese before you come here.In this way,you will be better involved in the environment of Chinese.And either chatting with me or reading Chinese novelswillenhanceyourChineselanguage speaking.It's also a good way to browse the Internet to acquaint yourself with background knowledge of profoundness of Chinese culture.

拓展原则

1.合逻辑原则

【例6】假定你是李华，作为交换生在国际学院英语学校（Academy International School of English）学习。你不慎把包遗落在校图书馆里，包里有一本《唐诗三百首》。你看到了失物招领后，请你就预约取回时间、询问义工事宜等向Mr Brown写封邮件。

I'm Li Hua,a Chinese student of Academy International School of English.I feel sorry to interrupt you but I accidentally lost the bag.

My bag is small and black,which is the same with your description you gave in the Found. Inside is a poetry collection named Three Hundred Tang Poems,whose cover is in Chinese style but worn-out.The book,which I bought to prepare for a speech to my classmates and teachers to show Chinese greatest literature achievements,is of great importance to me.Time permitting,could we meet at 8：00 this Sunday morning at the desk where you found the bag?If you are not available at that time,please keep me informed in advance what time suits you best.

To compensate for the inconvenience caused,I am willing to volunteer in the library for a month.Thanks again for your kindness.Your prompt reply is highly appreciated.

合逻辑原则即理由充分，与细节和写作背景吻合。例题中“询问义工事宜”与文章背景是相关的，若因想锻炼自己能力而申请参加义工，则显得有些突兀，与文章逻辑不符。而该优秀作文用“做义工”来报答“送还书籍”这一细节的添加，使得要点之间逻辑更合理。

实验使用的三组数据均由空间外差光谱仪采集，分别为多色光钾盐燃烧信号、氖灯信号及复色光积分球信号.多色光干涉图分别如图2(a)、(b)所示，复色光如图2(c)所示，三幅干涉图尺寸均为：1 024×1 024.钾盐信号两个特征峰分别为766.49 nm和769.896 nm，光谱分辨率0.029 nm，波长范围：756.8～771.7 nm；氖灯光谱包含6个特征峰,波长范围：923～954 nm；积分球波长范围与氖灯相同.

2.正能量原则

【例7】假定你是李华，你的美国朋友Sam得知你最近参加了由学校组织的研学旅行活动，来信向你咨询相关情况，请你给他回信，内容包括：

1.活动目的；

2.活动地点和内容；

3.活动感受。

Dear Sam,

Knowing that you have an interest in my study trip organized by my school,I'm writing in response to your inquiry about the relevant information about it.

Aimed at raising students'awareness of inheriting traditional Chinese culture and getting us immersed in the historical atmosphere,our school organized a study trip in the local history museum last month.

Upon our arrival,the guide showed us around the main exhibition hall,where we were completely immersed in the profound traditional Chinese culture and rich history.Next came the moment when we were led to a themed hall,which contained a variety of traditional works of art,among which the paper-cutting works attracted me most.Personally speaking,without this excellent experience,I wouldn't have realized that it is our duty to pass the traditional culture from generation to generation.

Sincerely hoping that my study trip can arouse your great interest in Chinese culture,I'm firmly convinced that never will it fail to live up to your expectations.If you have similar experiences,pleasedon'thesitatetosharewithme.

Yours,

Li Hua

正能量原则即体现身心健康、乐于助人、爱学习、爱劳动、热爱祖国和传统文化等可贵品质。本文作者在研学活动中，热爱中国传统文化，虚心学习，体现了当代中国青少年的责任担当，传播了正能量。

3.高情商原则

【例8】假定你是李华，暑期你因将参加志愿者活动而取消英国旅行计划，因此不能前往拜访外教Smith。请你写信给外教Smith向他表达歉意。内容包括：

1.道歉并说明原因；

2.期待未来的见面。Dear Smith,

I'm writing to convey my heartfelt apology to you.Last term,I promised to pay you a visit this summer vacation,but I'm awfully sorry that I can't travel to England as scheduled.

The reason why I won't be available at that time is that I have to participate in a volunteer program this summer vacation.I signed up for it last year,but it was not until this morning that I was informed of being admitted into the project,whose timetable conflicts with the planned trip.Consequently,I have no alternative but to change my plan.Breaking the promise makes me heart-broken.

Had it not been for the epidemic,we could have a holiday lasting for 3 months.The shortened vacation means I will miss the chance to visit you this summer.Time permitting,I can make it next winter in the hope of compensating for our lost happy time.If that suits you,please drop me a line at your convenience.

Yours,

Li Hua

高情商原则即设身处地为对方着想，有礼貌，有涵养，让人如沐春风。该优秀作文中关于取消计划的原因（时间冲突）为客观原因，比主观原因更让对方容易接受。添加“今早才得到消息，马上就写信告知”的细节让对方感受到作者的真诚。

4.大格局原则

【例9】假设你是红星中学的高三学生李华。你的英国网友Jim在给你的邮件中提到他很想了解你的职业规划，请你给他写一封回信，内容包括：

1.你希望从事的职业；2.你选择该职业的原因；3.你打算为之做何准备。

Dear Jim,

How is everything going?Knowing that you are curious about my career plan,I'm writing to share my opinions with you.

Environmental Engineer is the job in my dreams.As a new career popped out just in the recent years,I didn't know much about it first.However,after I got to know about it from a discussion with a friend and looked deeper into it on the websites,I learned that it is actually to create a better environment for citizens to live in.As we all know,the heavy smog in Beijing has aroused global concern and its harm to people's health is yetto be measured.Suffering from the air pollution,I think of choosing this career as a direct way to help change the present situation and to give the blue sky back to this city I love.

What's your plan for your future job?Looking forward to your early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

大格局原则即突破小我，关注大我(人与人/人与社会/人与自然)，关注社会/国家/文化交流/环保等。本文作者梦想的职业是环境工程师，因为他想为市民创造更有益健康的环境，做出自己的贡献，突破了小我，关注人与自然，凸显大格局。