JOKES

魏秀丽

Who Is Stupid？

A new teacher was trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She started her class by saying，“Everyone who thinks youre stupid， stand up！” After a few seconds， little Johnny stood up. The teacher said，“Do you think youre stupid， Little Johnny？”

“No， no， but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself！”

誰愚蠢？

一位新老师想试着运用她学过的心理学。她这样开始她的课程：“有谁认为自己笨就站起来！”过了一会儿小约翰尼站了起来。

老师说：“你认为你笨吗，小约翰尼？”

“不，老师，可是我不愿看到你一个人站着。”

Mosquitoes with Lanterns

Two Scotsmen were sleeping in a small hotel in New York. It was then the mosquito season. They had to spend the night defending themselves against the hungry mosquitoes. At last one of them said to the other， “Sandy， I have an idea， let us cover our heads with the quilts.”

After a while， when Sandy was breathing the fresh air， he saw a fire fly—he has never seen such an insect before. He shouted， “My friend， its useless for us to cover our heads， they are looking for us with lanterns.”

打着灯笼的蚊子

有两个苏格兰人在纽约的一家小旅店里过夜。这个季节蚊子很多，他们不得不整夜驱赶饥饿的蚊子。后来，一个人对另一个人说：“桑迪，我想出一个办法，用被子蒙住头。”

过了一会儿，桑迪露出头喘气，看见了一只萤火虫——他以前从没见过这种昆虫，于是大喊：“伙计，我们蒙住头也没用，它们打着灯笼来找我们了。”

It Couldnt Swim the Atlantic

An American who was visiting Scotland met a shepherd with a beautiful sheep dog. The American offered the owner $50 for the dog， but the shepherd refused. “I couldnt part with Jack，” he said.

Just then， a man with an English accent walked up and made the same offer. The  shepherd agreed this money and handed over the dog.

The American was very angry. “You told me you wouldnt sell that dog，” he shouted.

“No， no！” said the shepherd. “I said I couldnt part with him. England is not that far away and Jack will be back in a couple of days. But he couldnt swim the Atlantic. ”

它游不过大西洋

一个访问苏格兰的美国人碰到一个牧羊人带着只漂亮的牧羊狗。美国人愿出价50美元买这只狗，可是牧羊人拒绝了。“我不能与杰克分离。”他说。就在这时，一个英格兰口音的人走过来，出同样的价钱买那只狗，牧羊人同意了并把狗交了过去。

美国人很生气。“你跟我说你不愿卖那只狗的！”他大声喊着。

“不对，不对！”牧羊人说，“我说过我不能与它分离。英格兰并不太远，杰克几天后就会回来。可是，它游不过大西洋呀。”