Laughing ouut Loud 笑话与幽默
2020-06-18
The Best Evidence
最好的证据
A boy was bragging to his classmates, “Once my father accidentally fell into a river, he quickly caught two fish in the water that brought him back to land safely.” All of his classmates didn’t believe, asking him for evidence. The boy said, “Why do we need evidence? It is the best evidence that my father is still alive.”
一个男孩向他的同学吹牛说：“有一次，我爸爸不小心掉进河里，他急忙抓住水中游着的两条鱼，这才安全地上了岸。”同学们都不相信，要他拿出证据来。男孩说：“难道还需要证据吗？我爸爸现在还活着，这就是最好的证据。”
Whose Father Is the Fastest?
谁的爸爸最快？
Three children were arguing whose father is the fastest. The first child said, “I accidentally knocked a cup off the table. But, my dad caught it before it fell to the ground.”
The second child said, “Once my father went hunting and shot a deer. He rushed up to hold it before it fell to the ground.”
The third one said, “My dad is supposed to be off-duty at six o’clock in the evening, but he arrives home by 5:30 p.m.”
有三个小孩在比谁的爸爸动作最快。第一个小孩说：“我不小心把桌上的杯子碰掉了，可是杯子还没有跌到地面，我爸爸就把它接住了。”
第二个小孩说：“我爸爸去打猎，射中一头鹿，在鹿摔到地面之前他就冲上去把它托住了。”
第三个小孩说：“我爸爸每天下午六点下班，但他五点半就到家了。”
How's Your Arm Broken?
胳膊怎么断了？
David went to school with his arm in plaster bandage. His teacher asked him, “What happened to your arm?”
David said, “It’s broken.”
The teacher said, “How?”
David said, “Because I was too lazy.”
The teacher said, “You broke your arm because you were too lazy?”
David said, “When I was walking on the road, a tiny stone ran into one of my shoes. But I didn’t want to bend down. So I held a utility pole, trying to shake the stone off the shoe. A passerby thought I got an electric shock,and hit my arm with a stick...”
大卫胳膊上打着石膏去上学，老师问：“你的胳膊怎么了？”
大卫说：“断了。”
老师问：“为什么？”
大卫说：“因为我太懒了。”
老师说：“太懒胳膊会断？”
大卫说：“我走在路上，鞋子里跑进一颗石头，可是我懒得弯腰，就抱着电线杆抖着脚让石头掉出来。一个路人以为我触电了，用木棍击中了我的胳膊*……”
*有人触电后，可以用干燥的木棍使触电者与带电体分离；如果电源开关就在附近,首先需要关闭电源。
Key points
accidentally 意外地
argue 争论
bandage 绷带
be supposed to do / be sth（按规定）应当
brag 吹牛
electric shock 触电
knock 与某物相撞
plaster 石膏
rush 迅速移动
tiny 极小的
utility pole 电线杆
本栏目选自《每天一点儿给力的英文·笑惨乐翻的英语笑话》，由机械工业出版社授权选载。
