母亲的心

My sweetheart Paul and I had eloped to Yuma on a whim. It was the most romantic and thrilling weekend of my life. Leaving town was easy but coming back on Sunday night to face our parents was hard. We had a huge wedding planned for the following September—but this was May， and Paul was home on his first leave from the Marine Reserves boot camp.

Pauls parents joined us at my parents house the evening we returned. We hoped this would be a happy meeting of our newly merged families.

Seated around the living room， Pauls mother was the first to speak.

“I dont think Paul and Sallie should stay married！ They are too young. How will he support a wife？ Where will they live？ We need to get this marriage annulled！” my mother-in-law shouted to the family members assembled at my parents house.

BAM！ My father had let her rant for several minutes before his fist hit the coffee table with a loud slap. “If these kids want to stay married， then by God theyre gonna stay married，” he yelled back.

He turned to Paul. “Do you want to stay married？”Turning to me， he said， “Sallie， do you want to stay married？”We both nodded yes， our eyes wide at all this drama.

“Then they can live with us until Paul gets home permanently，” my dad said in a calmer tone. Case closed！

Mrs. Rodman had been thwarting me at every turn， trying to postpone the wedding plans. She even went so far as to tell Paul we were too young and we were from two different classes and he needed to marry a college graduate. On and on the objections went.

Sure， I was only nineteen and had one year of college. But we were both from middle-class families， although I admit I probably had a few more material advantages since Paul came from a family of eleven.

We did stay married， but to appease his mother we lived apart one week until we could be married in our church. After Pauls basic training as a reservist was over， he went back to his job.

My new mother-in-law didnt come around much since Pauls father was ill. They had a family tragedy and their house burned down. She was working and running in so many directions.

Meanwhile our family had grown， with a son and then a daughter， one year apart. I hoped when things got back to normal we could talk. Perhaps I could win my mother-in-law over since I love her son so much and she adored him too. But that was not to be.

The entire chain of events came crashing down early one cold February morning three years into our marriage. I wrote a poem about it：

The Final Revenge

A phone ringing， ringing， breaking the 5 oclock morning.

My husband plunging through the door where the white wall phone stubbornly commands.

From the bedroom， my curiosity arousing itself from a long nights sleep.

The words ambulance and hospital send me reeling through the door.

Thoughts flashing through my brain like summer lightning.

But no， its not my mother， older and graying.

The younger woman has been chosen instead.

My husband replaces the phone into its slot， tears running down his face.

“She is dead; my mom is dead.”

We are rocking back and forth in each others arms.

He cries for her， I cry for him.

Her words echo in my mind，

“You stole my favorite son！”

A sudden thought.

Whats today？

Mon， February 20th.

Recognition.

My birthday.

I whisper to myself， “Happy birthday， kiddo.”

Forever on this day he will remember Who was born and who died.

And so I never got to know this woman， my husbands mother. I soon forget her slights and unkind words since she was absent from our lives and I was busy with two toddlers. I did vow that when my children grew up and married， I would welcome their choices with warm hugs and loving words no matter what.

Now here I am forty-seven years later. My husband Paul died a little over three years ago. It recently dawned on me while lying in bed one morning and thinking about him that， since I believe he is in heaven， his mom is probably with him. I found myself overcome with anger and jealousy.

I wanted to yell out. “You cant have him. He is mine！ I loved him to the moon and back. We were happily married for so many years. Wasnt that enough for you？”

Then I realized I still havent forgiven her. I recently spoke to my husbands sister Joan. I confided my feelings about their mom， hoping she could help me. She counseled me. “Oh Sallie， Mom was like that with every date we brought home. She just loved her kids so much she was afraid of them being hurt. It wasnt personal.”

Acceptance is replacing the anger， as I realize what I actually had in common with my mother-in-law—we both loved our children， and moms only want the very best for their kids. Sometimes we overstep， but our hearts are in the right place. That is something I do understand and can certainly forgive her for.

My only hope is that when Paul talks to her in heaven he tells her， “See Mom， she was a keeper！ Forty-six years—and you thought it would never last.”

我和爱人保罗心血来潮，逃到了尤马。那是我人生中最浪漫、最刺激的一个周末。离开我们的城市很容易，但要在星期天回来面对我们的父母却很困难。到了九月的时候，我们计划举办一场盛大的婚礼，但现在才五月，这是保罗第一次从海洋自然保护区的新兵训练营那里回来。

我们回来的那个晚上，保罗的父母过来和我父母见面。我们希望这新结成的一家能愉快会面。

在客厅坐下后，保罗的母亲第一个开口说话了。

“我认为保罗和萨莉就不应该结婚！他们太年轻了。他怎么养得起一个妻子？他们要住哪里？我们应该解除这段婚姻关系。我婆婆对聚在我父母房子里的家人大喊道。

砰！在她咆哮了几分钟后，我爸爸一拳砸在咖啡桌上，发出响亮的一声。“如果这两个孩子想要结婚，那么就是上帝的旨意，他们就该保持这段婚姻关系，”他吼回去。

他对保罗说，“你想要结婚吗？”他转向我，说道，“萨莉，你想结婚吗？”我们俩都点头说想，瞪大双眼看着这充满戏剧性的一幕。

“那么在保羅拥有自己的房子前，他们可以先和我们住在一起，”我爸爸语气平静了些，如此说道。一切尘埃落定！

罗德曼太太一直在处处贬低我，竭力拖延这场婚礼。她甚至跟保罗说我们俩太年轻了，而且我们的阶层不一样，他应该娶一个大学毕业生。她不断地反对。

没错，我那时只有19岁，还有一年才大学毕业。但我们两个都是来自中产阶级的家庭，我承认我可能在物质条件上比保罗要好上一点，因为他们家有十一个孩子。

我们保持了婚姻关系，但为了安抚他妈妈，我和保罗分开住了一个星期，直到我们在教堂举行完婚礼为止。在保罗的预备役军基本训练结束后，他就回来工作了。

保罗的爸爸生病了，所以我的新婆婆没有经常过来我们这边走动。他们家出事了，房子被烧毁了。她得四处奔走，张罗各事。

同时，我们家也增加了新成员，多了个儿子，一年后又多了个女儿。我希望当一切回到正轨后，我们可以好好谈谈。也许我能赢得婆婆的欢心，因为我是如此深爱着她的儿子，而她也同样爱着他。但这样的事没能发生。

在我们结婚第三年二月的一个寒冷的清晨，一连串事情猝然而至。我为这件事写了首诗。

最后的复仇

清晨五点，电话铃响起，响起。

我丈夫夺门而出，冲向挂在墙上那响个不停的电话。

卧室内，我的好奇心从一夜漫长的睡眠中苏醒。

听到救护车、医院等字眼，我昏昏沉沉地走出门外。

各种念头如夏日的闪电一般从我脑海闪过。

但不是，不是我那更老，头发更白的母亲。

被选中的人是更年轻的那位。

我丈夫挂上电话，泪水划过他的脸庞。

“她死了;我妈妈死了。”

我们互相拥抱着对方。

他为她哭泣，我为他哭泣。

她的话语在我脑海中响起。

“你偷走了我最爱的儿子！”

一个想法突然闪过。

今天是什么日子？

二月二十日星期一。

想到了。

我生日。

我喃喃自语，“生日快乐，小妞。”

他会永远记住，在这一天谁出生了，谁离世了。

因此，我永远也无从了解这个女人，我丈夫的妈妈。我很快就忘掉她曾经对我的轻视和冷言冷语，因为她已经从我们的生活中消失了，而且我还要忙着照顾两个小孩。但我曾发誓，等我孩子长大了，要结婚的时候，无论如何，我都会以温暖的拥抱以及关爱的话语来接受他们的选择。

如今，四十七年过去了。我丈夫保罗在三年多前去世了。最近一天早上，当我躺在床上想他时，我突然想到，既然我相信他上了天堂，那么他现在应该和他妈妈在一起。我发现自己的内心充满了愤怒和嫉妒。

我想大声呼喊：“你不能占有他。他是我的！我是那么地爱他。这么多年来，我们的婚姻一直幸福美满。你还不满意吗？”

然后我意识到，我还是没有原谅她。最近，我跟我丈夫的姐姐琼说了这件事。我向她坦诚了我对她妈妈的感觉，希望她能帮到我。她劝慰我，“噢，萨莉，妈妈对我们带回家的每一个对象都是这样，她只是太爱她的孩子，害怕他们受到伤害而已，她并不是在针对你。”

在我认识到我和婆婆的共同之处后，理解取代了愤怒。我们都爱着自己的孩子，而母亲都希望她们孩子能得到最好的。有时候，我们是做得过分了点，但我们都是出于好意。我很能理解这一点，当然也能原谅她这点。

我唯一的希望就是当保罗在天堂和她聊天时，能告诉她，“看，妈妈，她是个好妻子！四十六年了——你还以为我们不会长久呢。”