握手定终身

By Christine Gawthorpe

It was August 1965 and I was 18， working as a woman clerk at the Bank of England. On Saturday nights， I used to meet a colleague， Susan， at a dance hall in south London. One night， she copped off with a lad called Charles and the three of us continued to meet at the dance， me feeling very much the gooseberry.1 Charles then announced that he had a friend coming to stay. Ian was 23， lived in Yorkshire and worked as an engineering draughtsman2. Would I like to make up a foursome at the dance the next week？ Pleased that my gooseberry status was to be put on hold3， I agreed.

I had never dated anyone before. I wasnt bothered about this in the slightest， but was quite excited at the prospect of a new experience.4 My first impressions of Ian were that he was smart and not bad-looking. However， he was reluctant to even get on to the dance floor and， when he did， he turned out to have two left feet5. Consequently， we spent most of the time sitting at the side. He was very chatty， but had a broad Yorkshire accent， so what with that and the live band in full swing， I found it hard to understand what he was saying.6

During the dance interval， the four of us went to a nearby pub. I had never been in one before， but remember asking for a port7 and lemon. Away from the band， we chatted amicably8. Returning to the dance hall， we resumed our position at the side of the floor， sitting on a bench with no armrests. We were pushed quite closely together.

As the evening progressed， Ian got hold of my hand， another new experience for me. I suppose I found it flattering9. At the end of the dance， he walked me to the bus stop. He was looking for a kiss， but I wasnt. I had only kissed family members， and didnt want to widen my horizons. We did， however， shake hands.

Ian came down to London a couple more times that autumn and， as I got to know him better， I found I liked him. Our first kiss is still very clear in my memory； it took place outside the Odeon cinema in Morden， south London， on a dark and damp evening.

We had exchanged addresses （no emails or mobile phones in those days） and started writing to one another. Ian set the ball rolling10 and， as time went on， I used to wait for the postman eagerly. By November， he had invited me to stay for a weekend at the family home in West Yorkshire. I had never been “up north” before and expected to see the stereotypical images of the region—belching mill chimneys on every street corner， cloth caps and whippets.11 I was surprised to find the locals quite civilised.

I was invited to Yorkshire again for Christmas 1965， and Ian proposed to me during that visit. By then I knew that I liked him a lot—but we had only met a few times and， at 18， I felt immature and didnt even know if I was in love or not， so I turned him down. However， we kept on meeting every few weeks at our family homes and I suppose he just grew on me12. We eventually got married in June 1969.

We were very happy indeed， until 1984， when Ian developed a brain tumour. He died the next year， aged 42. We had two children： Charlotte， then aged seven， and John， who was five. During our fouryear courtship， we had written to each other several times a week and had amassed more than 1，000 letters. We kept these in a large cardboard box in the loft. After Ians death I put them all into date order， and it was like reading our conversations. Then it struck me that these letters only recorded the times we were apart， not the times we were together， which seemed very weird.

Thirty-four years on， I have never met anyone else with whom I have wanted to have a relationship. It seems odd that my children are now at a similar age to Ian when he died. I still look on Ian and myself as equals，13 and yet， thinking about his age when he died， he could be my son. Life is strange.14

1. 一天晚上，她邂逅了一位叫查尔斯的小伙子。我们三个还是在舞会上碰面，我觉得自己就像个电灯泡。gooseberry：本义为醋栗，引申为电灯泡之意。

2. draughtsman： 制图员。

3. put on hold： 暂停。

4. 我一点儿也不担心这件事，而是对可能会有的新体验感到非常兴奋。

5. have two left feet： 极其笨拙的。

6. 他很健谈，但带有很重的约克郡口音，而现场乐队又很活跃，因此我很难听懂他在说什么。in full swing： 活跃，正在全力进行中。

7. port： 波尔图葡萄酒。

8. amicably： 友好地，友善地。

9. flattering： 讨人喜欢的。

10. set the ball rolling： 发起活动，使活动开始。

11. 我以前从来没有去过“北方”，我希望能看到這个地区惯有的样子——街道每个角落的工厂的烟囱都在冒烟，街上满是小布帽和小灵狗。belching： 喷出（烟、火）的；mill： 工厂，制造厂；whippet： 小灵狗，惠比特犬（常用于赛犬）。

12. grow on sb.： 使某人越来越喜欢。

13. 我仍然认为伊恩是我的另一半。

14. 生活就是这样，造化弄人。