Exercising with My Mother

本期点评名师

陈传光 男，江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师，从事教育工作15年;江苏省教育学会会员、连云港市优秀教育园丁，获英语专业技能大赛市一等奖、班主任基本功大赛市一等奖;有多篇论文在各主流和核心期刊上发表;指导学生在各类竞赛中取得了不错的成绩，多人获得省级奖和地市级奖。

Im not an active girl. I prefer to stay indoors to read or watch TV when I finish do① my homework. As a result， Im thin and weak. I used to catch cold easily.

A month ago， I had a high fever and stayed in the② bed for totally five days. After I was recovered， I made up my mind to exercise regularly. My mother said I could join③ her morning jogging. Yesterday morning， I got up early and went to the centre④ park with her. We ran along the lane in the park for twenty minutes. I ran very slowly， but my mother was always by my side and encouraged me to hold on.

It was a little tiring but I felt good after that. Ill keep exercising from now on.

江苏省连云港市罗阳中学九（1）班 王阳

1. 优点：

本文详细讲述了作者自己和妈妈一起锻炼身体的起因、经过和结果。整篇文章用词得当、叙事条理清晰，是一篇不错的学生习作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①do改为doing。finish doing sth.意为“完成做某事”。

②the去掉。in bed意为“卧床”。

③join改为join in。join后接团体、组织、人群，join in后接活动。

④centre改為central。修饰名词park，应使用形容词central。central park意为“中央公园，中心公园”。

3. 评分：

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准，本文修改前可得23分。