Love Around Us

陈传光 男 江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师，从事教育工作近二十年。江苏省教育学会会员，连云港市优秀教育园丁，英语专业技能大赛市一等奖，班主任基本功大赛市一等奖;有多篇论文在各主流和核心期刊上发表;指导学生在各类竞赛中取得了优异成绩，多人获得省级奖和地市级奖。

Love Around Us

Love is around us. At home， I feel the love from my parents. At school， I feel the love from my classmates and teachers. Even on the street， I feel love from strangers.

Last Sunday， I went out to buy some novels. It was hot. I felt a bit sick. I stopped calling① my mother. Then I found I cant② speak. Two little girls came along. They found I was pale， so they called 120. Doctors came and treated me in time. Two hours later， I was fine. Both my parents and I were moved by the girls. For they helped me， though they didnt know me.

Ive made up my mind helping③ anyone who needs help， because love means to care.

江蘇省连云港市罗阳中学七（1）班 王芹芹

1. 优点：

本文开头列举了我们身边的各种爱，给文章营造了很好的氛围。在叙述陌生人帮助自己的时候，条理清晰、简明有序。结尾句和前面上下呼应，为全文点睛之笔。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当，是一篇不错的学生习作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①calling改为to call。stop doing sth.意为“停止正在做的事”，stop to do sth.意为“停止正在做的事，去干别的事”。

②cant改为couldnt。从句的时态要与主句的时态保持一致。

③helping改为to help。made up ones mind to do sth.意为“决定做某事”。

3. 评分：

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准，本文修改前可得23分。