A Wonderful Trip

本期点评名师

张祖平 男，80后英语教师，爱好翻译，勤于写作。在英语教学中，注重分层教学，尤其善于激励英语薄弱的学生，用他们的兴趣爱好，引导他们进行愉快阅读。自主研发的“E飞英语口语考试小程序”获2018年绍兴市教师自制教具比赛一等奖。

A Wonderful Trip

Dear Jack，

How is it going？

Last summer vacation， I went to Beijing， China with my parents. On the first day， we visited the Great Wall. It was very long and tall！Climbed① it made me tired but excited. On the second day， we went to the Palace Museum. I was surprised to see so many wonderful things②. On the third day， we tried some Chinese food in a small restaurant. It was a pity that I couldnt use chopsticks③. On the last day， we went shopping in a big supermarket near Beijing University. The shop assistants were really friendly and they could speak English well.

The trip seemed too short and④ I want to visit China again.

Yours，

Mike

浙江省绍兴市树人中学七（5）班 吴肖悦

1. 优点：

这是一篇关于旅行的作文，小作者写得很真实。小作者能正确拼寫动词的过去式，这点尤其值得点赞。可见小作者的一般过去式掌握得较为牢固。此外，小作者还用了long、tall、tired、excited、 surprised、wonderful等形容词描述此次旅行中的相关景物，使文章增色不少。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①改为Climbing。动名词放在开头作主语。

②改为collections。故宫里的是收藏品，用collections比things更准确。

③chopsticks后加副词well，语意更贴切。

④and改为so，表结果。

3. 评分：

按照中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。