❷话题作文——周围环境

安徽 吴安运

★指点迷津

周围环境包括人们生活、学习、工作和娱乐的场所，对环境的描写可分为动态描写和静态描写。该话题常涉及三方面的内容：一是介绍某地环境状况；二是环境状况的发展和变化；三是运用恰当的方法对环境进行说明。

该话题的写作通常以空间位置或时间顺序为线索进行介绍和说明，主要会运用如列数字、做比较等说明方法。其目的是将所要介绍的地点具体化、形象化。

这类话题的作文以说明文为主，有时也出现应用文。主体时态多为一般现在时。

★写作模板

My hometown lies in_________（具体位置）.It has a long history and a population of_________（具体数字）.Recently,everything is changing in my hometown.Many new factories,houses and roads have been built,all of which make our life convenient.Places of interest include_________（具体景点）,making my hometown a popular site.

Maybe my hometown becomes more beautiful.

★典例分析1

假如你是王林，你的美国朋友Daniel将来南京学习，他想了解所到中学附近的滨江图书馆（Binjiang Public Library)。请根据海报中的信息，给他发一封电子邮件，介绍滨江图书馆的基本情况及部分馆区的功能。

注意：

1.语言通顺，意思连贯，书写规范；

2.词数80左右，电子邮件的开头已经给出，但不计入总词数。

Binjiang Public Library

Over 900,000 books and 13,000 electronic journals

Location:18 Binjiang Road,Jianye District

Open:8:00 a.m.(Mon.-Fri.)9:00 a.m.(Sat.&Sun.)

Closed:5:00 p.m.(Mon.-Fri.)8:00 p.m.(Sat.&Sun.)

Sections:Loan Desk,Reading Room,Computing Room,ElectronicResources,Children’s Story Corner,Book Shop...

Functions:borrow&return books

Search for information on the Internet

...

Dear Daniel,

I am pleased to know that you will come to Nanjing.___________________________

Yours sincerely,

Wang Lin

【题目解读】

本文属于书信类提示性作文，要求根据要点向美国朋友Daniel发一份电子邮件，介绍滨江图书馆的情况及部分馆区的某些功能。

写作时，我们要看清题目，组织好要点。做到内容完整，层次清晰、语法正确、行文连贯，以一般现在时态为主。在遣词造句上，注意使用高级词汇和较复杂句型，合理使用连接词、短语或特殊结构等，以提高文章的档次。

Yours sincerely,

【佳作赏析】Dear Daniel,

I am pleased to know that you will come to Nanjing.①So here’s some information for you about Binjiang Public Library.

②The library is located at 18 Binjiang Road,Jianye District.It has over 900,000 books and 13,000 electronic journals.You may spend your time in the library from 8:00 a.m.till 5:00 p.m.on weekdays.③Or 9:00 a.m.to 8:00 p.m.on weekends is also available.

④Besides,you can borrow or return books at Loan Desk,or you can buy some from the Book Shop.⑤In addition,if you’d like to search for information on the Internet,you are supposed to go to the Computing Room.Also,you may have a comfortable reading in the Reading Room.

The library is really a good place for both learning and relaxing,and ⑥I sincerely hope you’ll bring such abundant resources into full play.

Wang Lin

【亮点分析】本文内容详尽，要点全面，描写具体，多次使用了高级词汇和状语从句、动词不定式和较复杂句子结构，从而增强了文章的可读性，增添了文章的文采。

①文章开门见山，直奔主题。

②此句用了“主—系—表”结构的句型，提高了句子表达的灵活性。

③准确使用连词or，使句子衔接自然；available的使用，增添了句子的文采。

④此句再次使用过渡词和选择连词，使句子自然过渡。

⑤过渡短语in addition的使用避免了语言的重复，让人感到该作者具有较丰富的单词储备；search for和be supposed to的使用，使得句子锦上添花。

⑥高级词汇abundant和短语bring sth.into full play等，充分展示了作者扎实的英语写作功底。

★典例分析2

联合国教科文组织（UNESCO）想了解你校的情况，并发来了一个表格（见下表）。请参考表格里的内容提示，用英语写一篇短文，介绍你校的相关情况。

要求：

1.要包含表格内的全部信息内容，词数不少于80；

2.不能出现考生真实的姓名和校名。

【题目解读】

要参考表格的内容提示，写一篇英语短文，介绍学校的相关情况。此类作文属于说明文体的范畴，主体句应为一般现在时态。

写作时，我们应仔细审题，明确写作要求。认真阅读所给信息，恰当地进行写作整合。说明的内容要有条理，语言表达要客观、简洁。为体现自己的感情，可适当应用一些描述性语言，避免句式的单一化。为使句子之间的衔接更自然，尽量使用已学过的说明性短语和句型。

【佳作赏析】

①I’m very glad to describe my school to you.

Well,my school takes up ten thousand square meters or so.②A large figure,isn’t it?Besides,about twelve buildings③stand in my school,which are tall and modern.With so many buildings,④there is no doubt that my school consists of lots of teachers and students.In fact,there are about four hundred teachers and six thousand students.So my school has four teaching buildings for us to study in.⑤Apart from teaching buildings,there are three sports fields,⑥where we can play basketball,football and so on.⑤Also we use them to hold yearly school sports meet and basketball matches.How interesting!⑤Besides,due to a large number of teachers and students,my school has built four apartments,one for teachers,the others for us students.They are all new and very comfortable.Walking around my school,we can see many flowers,like China rose and tall trees.I like them so much that I often walk in the school yard enjoying them.

【亮点分析】本文布局合理，材料安排详略得当，内容翔实，语言描述客观、具体。富有变化的句式，增添了文章的风采。过渡语的恰当运用，使文章层次清晰。全文概括点题，简约有力。

①开头一句，引出下文，也体现了作者对自己学校的喜爱之情。 “I’m glad to describe my school to you.”要比“I’ll describe my school.”更富有感情色彩，这使作者对自己学校的自豪感跃然纸上。

②不经意的一个反意疑问句，实际在传递一个信息：学校的校园很大。作者的独具匠心，令人叫绝。

③stand一词的使用，彰显了动感。如使用动词are，则会令人感觉平淡。

④that引导的同位语从句及consist of等高级词汇的使用，显示了作者不凡的写作水平。若使用there be句型，就会显得平铺直叙，毫无新意可言。

⑤apart from,also,besides等过渡词和短语的交替使用使句式富有变化，突出了文章的层次感。

⑥作者不失时机地介绍了在体育场上举行的活动，使文章内容更加充实。

⑦本文结尾高度概括，统领全文；such一词的使用，显得更加精辟。

【参考范文】

Our school is not very large.It covers an area of about thirty thousand square meters,with only 500 students and 46 teachers.There are only three buildings in it,none of which is very tall.The largest one is a newly built teaching building.The second largest is the students’apartment and the third one is the teachers’apartment.The two apartments were both built in the year 1993.The school has one football field and two basketball fields,where we usually have happy hours after school.Trees and flowers are everywhere and we all love them.

◎小试牛刀

假如你是李华，住在新京。你的加拿大笔友Lucy来信谈到了她所居住的城市，并希望了解你家乡新京的情况。请你用英语写一封回信。回信须包括下表中的内容：

注意事项：

1.回信中不能使用“新京”以外的地名；

2.词数100左右（信的开头与结尾已给出，但不计入总词数）。参考词汇：economy n.经济Dear Lucy，

It’s very kind of you to write to me and let me know about your beautiful city.Now I’d like to tell you something about my hometown Xinjing.

Yours，

Li Hua