芒果有时说再见

导读：《芒果街上的小屋》 一本优美纯净的小书，一本“诗小说”。由几十个短篇组成，语言清澈如流水，点缀着零落的韵脚和新奇的譬喻，如一首首长歌短调，各自成韵，又彼此勾连，汇聚出一个清晰世界，各样杂沓人生。所有的讲述都归于一个叙述中心：居住在芝加哥拉美移民社区芒果街上的女孩埃斯·佩朗莎，生就有对弱的同情心和对美的感知力。她用清澈的双眼打量周围的世界，用美丽稚嫩的语言讲述成长、沧桑、生命的美好与不易和年轻的热望与梦想——梦想有一所自己的房子，梦想在写作中追寻自我，获得自由和帮助别人的能力。本篇选摘了其中的一个短篇，以供分享。

I like to tell stories. I tell them inside my head. I tell them after the mailman says， heres your mail. Heres your mail he said.

I make a story for my life， for each step my brown shoe takes. I say， “And so she trudged up the wooden stairs， her sad brown shoes taking her to the house she never liked.”

I like to tell stories. I am going to tell you a story about a girl who didnt want to belong.

我喜歡讲故事。我在心里讲故事。在邮递员说这是你的邮件。他说，这是你的邮件之后，我开始讲述。

我编了一个故事，为我的生活，为我棕色鞋子走过的每一步。我说：“她步履沉重地登上木楼梯，她悲伤的棕色鞋子带着她走进了她从来不喜欢的房子。”

我喜欢讲故事。我将向你们讲述一个不想有所归属的女孩的故事。

We didnt always live on Mango Street. Before that we lived on Loomis on the third floor， and before that we lived on Keeler. Before Keeler it was Paulina， but what I remember most is Mango Street， sad red house， the house I live in but do not belong to.

I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. I write it down and Mango says goodbye sometimes. She does not hold me with both arms. She sets me free.

One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever. One day I will go away.

Friends and neighbors will say， what happened to that Esperanza？ Where did she go with all those books and paper？ Why did she march so far away？

They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.

我们之前不住芒果街。之前我们住鲁米斯的三楼，再之前我们住吉勒，吉勒前面是波琳娜。可我记得最清楚的是芒果街，哀伤的红色小屋。我住在那座不属于那里的房子。

我把它写在纸上，然后被幽灵缠绕的心就不那么疼了。我把它写下来，芒果有时说再见。她不再用双臂抱住我，她放开了我。

有一天我会把一袋袋的书和纸装进包里。有一天我会对芒果街说再见。我强大得她没法永远留住我。有一天我会离开。

朋友和邻居们会说，埃斯·佩朗莎怎么了？她带着那些书和纸去哪里？为什么她要走得那么远？

他们不会知道，我离开是为了回来。为了那些我留在身后的人，为了那些无法出去的人。