Mrs. Taobao’s Blissful Sweet Memories

By Sujeewa Polgampala [Sri Lanka]

Shopping on Taobao is something I’ve never experienced before I came to China. It’s truly an interesting experience.

My amiable Chinese friends created an account for me. The first time I purchased something on Taobao and the goods reached my home, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Being a Buddhist I was then badly in need of a small Buddha statue for my religious observations and rituals, so I decided to buy one on Taobao.I searched for a “golden dainty small statue,” with a second click of the button, the order was done and I waited impatiently. I received the goods in three days.Gently opening the package, I saw my god, sacred and serene,the figurehead of my faith. Oh,my goodness! To my surprise,it was not a statue but a few packets of colorful sequence beads, a tiny bottle of glue, and a piece of cloth with a sample picture of Lord Buddha. This gave me extra homework to add to my already hectic schedule and extracurricular activities.Getting courage, I started to glue the sequence with my darling little son. Days… weeks… months passed, we’ve just made little progress. Alas! It became like a dream.

Unfinished pasting by Sujeewa Polgampala

Sujeewa Polgampala is a teacher educator from Ministry of Education, Sri Lanka, and currently a PhD candidate majoring in Higher Education in HUST, Wuhan. She loves traveling and has visited many places in China in the past three years.

I have a bunch of such funny experiences. Like every other person in China, I was counting down the days for the “Big Shopping Day 11:11,” and poised my alipay account ready for bulk item payments. I was then in Hainan Province participating in the second Belt and Road Conference. Throughout the day,I searched and added to my cart until late into the evening when my cart was full of reserved items I had been eyeing.

在淘宝上购物，是我来中国之前从未经历过的事情。

我的中国朋友为我建立一个账户。第一次在淘宝上买东西时，我简直不敢相信自己的眼睛。

当时，我急需一尊小佛像，来完成我每天的宗教仪式，便决定在淘宝上寻一寻。输入关键词“小金人雕像”，按几下按钮之后，下单程序完成，我开始焦急等待我的小佛像。三天时间，货物收到。轻启包裹，我看见了……上帝啊！那不是一尊雕像，而是几包彩色的珠子，一小瓶胶水，和一块布，上面有佛像图。这给我已经很忙碌的日程表增添了一项额外的家庭作业。我鼓起勇气，和我亲爱的儿子一同开始这项巨大的工程。一天又一天，一周又一周……几个月过去，进展寥寥，不知何日才能完工。

类似的经历，我还有很多。和许多中国人一样，“双十一”来临前，我也为之倒计时，并且充好我的支付宝账户。当时，我在海南省参加第二届一带一路会议。白天，我在网上搜索商品，直到晚上把我的购物车装得满满当当。

那天，我迷上一个精美的靠垫套，一下买了两件。然而，和上次一样，包裹到达时，我又傻了眼。这次我收到的，是几卷彩色丝带，一些丝线，和一根针。我哭笑不得，转念一想，不如把这个包裹转赠给我那位爱八卦的阿姨。她老是吹嘘自己缝纫手艺高超，这份礼物一定能帮她好好打发时光。

我丈夫和朋友们给我起了个绰号——“淘宝太太”。他们时不时取笑我，有时还很让我抓狂。

你可以叫我购物狂。不得不承认， 有时，购买新鞋、手提袋或者服装的愿望能让我把当前的计划抛诸脑后，满淘宝搜寻一些能给我带来快乐的东西。这听起来可能有点老套，但对大多数女孩来说，服装店就像个避难所， 在那里她们可以自由地用华服和美鞋表达自己。我也是其中一员。 每当我有了点钱，就会想给我的生活添些新玩意。我喜欢世界各地的商品，但价格常常会成为阻碍，淘宝让一切变得简单，所以我逐渐成为它的忠实用户。

On November 11, I went crazy for a cushion cover designed with dainty colors of ribbon embroidery and ordered two of these works of art. However, just like my experience with the Budda statue, when the parcel arrived, it turned out to be one yard of multicolored silk ribbon, a few colored pieces of thread, and a needle.I was at a loss whether to cry or laugh when suddenly an idea hit upon me. Why not send this project to my gossip aunty who wastes most of her time boasting about her sewing? It would be a fine gift for her to spend her time fruitfully.

M y h u b b y a n d b u d d i e s nicknamed me “Mrs. Taobao”.They teased me from time to time,which sometimes makes me lose my temper.

You can call me a shopaholic.I have to admit that sometimes my desire to buy new shoes, hand bags or entire outfits makes me leave all my current plans behind and go searching Taobao shops for something that would make me happier. It may sound corny,but for most girls a clothing store feels like a sanctuary, where they are free to express themselves among gorgeous dresses and fancy shoes. After all, I am one of them and every time I have some money, I experience the desire to bring something new into my life. Usually the price is a barrier when I wanted something international,and Taobao has made things easier, so I gradually became a frequent user of it.

Not all online shopping experiences are joyful; there are disappointments at times with shipping. I’ve had experiences with sellers taking extremely long to finally ship an item. There were times when I never even received the item I ordered. I’ve also received broken items, wrong items, and items that weren’t as described.In the store you can actually see the item, but you have to trust a picture when shopping online.Yet despite all the defects of online shopping, I still enjoy it and accept it as an inseparable part of my daily life.

Due to my poor knowledge of the Chinese language,answering a delivery phone call in Chinese became the toughest task. When I receive the call,the voice on the line will say“Ni de kuaidi zai” then a lot of other words I can’t understand.I use a more polite and timid voice and say, “Qin wen, wa shi waiguoren. Wa dong yidiandian Zhongwen. Ni keyi fa duanxin ma?” I say this the same way a parrot repeats phrases in rote learned chunks. The deliverer,often so considerate, will reply,“Haode, keyi keyi. Wo kuai lai le.”

Since I am a fan of online shopping with Taobao, most of the people at the delivery centers know me. Even without inquiring my name, they would hand over my stuff in order to avoid unnecessarily chaotic situations. Maybe they call me“Mrs. Taobao” as well.

I do enjoy my innocent hobby of online shopping.Buying on Taobao brings subtle delight to my monotonous and rig o ro u s acad e mic schedule, and blissful sweet memories which may prevent me from becoming a victim of“Permanent Head Damage,”a humorous way we use to abbreviate our “PhD.”◆

并非所有的网上购物体验都是快乐的，有时它也会让人失望。有时，卖家过很长时间才发货。有时，我甚至从来没有收到我订购的商品。坏件、错件和不符合网上描述的商品，我都收到过。在商店里，你可以亲眼看到商品， 但是网上购物，你得信任图片。尽管并不事事尽如人意， 我依然享受网上购物的乐趣，认为它是我生活中不可分割的一部分。

由于汉语有限， 接听快递小哥的电话成了我网上购物最难的一关。电话接通，快递小哥声音传来：“快递在……”接着是一大串听不懂我的中文。我礼貌地小声回答：“请问……我是……外国人……我懂……一点点中文……你可以……发短信吗？”我像鹦鹉学舌一样，一个字一个字地吐出来。体贴的快递小哥常会这样回答：“好的。可以，可以。我快来了。”

因为我时常网上购物，快递驿站的人大都认识我，他们常会直接递给我包裹，而不再确认我的姓名，免得彼此一团糟。也许，他们也叫我“淘宝太太”。

作为一个网上购物的爱好者，淘宝购物给我单调而严苛的学习生活带来微小的快乐和甜蜜的回忆，或许，还能避免让我成为“永久性头部损伤”的受害者，不再是只会读学术书籍的“博士”书呆子。◆（编译/柏宁 许旷）