如何建立成功的室友关系

I know bad roommates. Last year my noisy， inconsiderate roommate constantly woke me up around three in the morning. Her side of the room was always messy and covered with clothes. Her suitcase from Christmas break didnt move from the middle of the room all second semester. She used my makeup. She ate my food.

我遇到过烦人的室友。去年，我的室友常常制造噪音，不顾及我的感受，常在凌晨三点把我吵醒。房间里她的那一侧通常是乱糟糟的，衣服扔得到处都是。圣诞节假期返校后带来的行李箱一直放在房间中央——整个第二学期就没挪过地。她用我的化妆品，吃我的东西。

While my rooming situation left much to be desired， I know that I probably wasnt the perfect roommate either. However， my roommate and I were still able to get along together fairly well （all things considered）. There are a few basic things you can do to help start off a successful roommate relationship and some tactics to help alleviate even the worst of rooming circumstances.

我寝室的状况差强人意，我知道作为室友我可能也并不完美。但是，我们两人仍然能够相处得非常好（如果所有事情都考虑在内的话）。做到以下几件基本的事情，将有助于建立成功的室友关系；寝室局势恶劣至极时，有些技巧能起到缓和的作用。

Respect Each Other

相互尊重

First and foremost， you need to respect your roommate. I know， sometimes， its really hard. But when youre living in tight quarters with the same person （or people）， if you dont respect them first， they sure as well wont respect you. Your parents have hopefully been teaching you what respecting others mean since you were about four. The same rules apply in college as they did in preschool.

首先和首要的是你要尊重你的室友。我知道有时真的很难。只是你和同一个人（或同一群人）生活在局促的方寸之间，如果你不展现你的尊重，你也必然得不到他们的尊重。想必你的父母从你四岁就开始教你怎样尊重别人了吧。学前班的规则同样适用于大学。

Be Considerate. If your roommate is sleeping or attempting to sleep， keep the noise and light levels down. If your roommate is studying， dont have loud conversations in the same room. It really should be common sense， but it is truly amazing how people dont understand what it means to be considerate. If in doubt， ask yourself if you would be annoyed if your roommate did whatever it is you would like to do to you. If the answer is no， take it elsewhere.

顾及他人。如果你的室友已经睡着或正试图入睡，调低你的音量和光亮。如果你的室友正在学习，不要在他学习的房间内大声交谈。这真的只是常识，可令人吃惊的是人们却不懂得怎樣去顾及别人。如果对此有疑问，问问自己，如果你的室友对你做了同样的事，你是否感到被搅扰。如果答案是不想被打扰，那就另寻他处吧。

Keep It Clean. Hair in the shower， toothpaste gelled to the sink， bathrooms littered with magazines or dirty clothes. Its gross. Respect means keeping your side of the room clean. Now， Ill admit， Im a rather messy person. I dont like picking up my clothes， the concept of drawers， or making my bed. But at least once a week， I pick all of my stuff up off the ground and make my side of the room clean again. Its a good habit to get into and it will make you a better roommate. And hopefully， if your roommate sees you keeping your side clean， theyll be more inclined to keep theirs clean.endprint

保持卫生。淋浴留下的头发，洗手池上粘的牙膏，浴室里乱扔的杂志或脏衣服，这些都让人觉得不舒服。尊重的意思就是要保持房间里你的那一侧干净。我承认，我不爱整洁。我不喜欢捡拾衣物，收拾抽屉，整理床铺。但是一周至少有一次，我会把我的东西从地上捡起来，把房间里我那一侧打扫干净。这会让你成为一个更好的室友。还有，如果你的室友看到你那一侧的卫生保持得很干净，他们也就更有可能保持他们那一侧的干净。

Keep Your Hands Off Their Stuff. Respecting your roommate means respecting their stuff. If you really need to borrow something of theirs， always， always ask before you do. If they say no， dont get offended. Some people just dont like other people using their stuff. This goes especially for food. Its super annoying to open the fridge and see that your lunch that you planned to eat is now gone. If you eat your roommates food， it is absolutely your responsibility to replace it.

不要碰室友的东西。尊重室友意味着尊重他们的物品。如果确实需要借用，务必在用之前征求对方的意见。如果他们不愿借，那就别得罪他们了。有些人就是不喜欢别人用自己的东西，特别是食物。打开冰箱，发现自己计划好的午餐不翼而飞是极度恼人的事。假如你吃了室友的食物，你有必要换一份新的。

Set Ground Rules

建立基本规则

Now that weve reviewed what it means to respect each other， you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go：

我们谈论了什么是相互尊重，你和室友可能也建立了某些基本规则。这有一个清单，陈列了你和室友在建立基本规则时所应涉及的事情。

Talking on the phone—Inside the room， outside the room， on the balcony， in the closet， whatever. Make a compromise， but the tie should go to the person studying.

讲电话——室内，室外，阳台，衣柜，哪里都行。学会妥协，但是限制应由学习的人来决定。

Smoking—This is so important. If you have a balcony， ensure if its okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommates chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I dont think smoking is allowed in any dorm room， but make sure to set your expectations early.

吸煙——这很重要。如果你有阳台，确定是否可以在阳台上吸烟。注意，如果你同意阳台可以吸烟，那么可能最终你室友的一帮烟友都有可能在你的阳台上安营扎寨。我认为任何一间寝室都不应准许吸烟，因而确保及早提出你的期望。

Cleaning—Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in. Taking out the trash， tidying the room， buying toilet paper， and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.

打扫卫生——商议打扫卫生的职责，明确各自负责的事项。划分清洁责任会让房间更整洁，如果双方都参与，紧张关系也会得到缓和。扔垃圾，打扫房间，购买厕纸，清洗洗手池，这些都是需要考虑的事情。

When All Else Fails

如果所有都不奏效

Sometimes， no matter how much you do， your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting， cleaning， and ground rules dont get you where you want in your rooming situation， all is not lost， even if it seems like it. Theres still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.endprint

有时，不管你付出了多少，室友仍然让你抓狂。当尊重、整洁和基本规则都无法让你得到你想要的寝室状况，看起来好像所有的方法都不管用时，即便如此，仍有一些控制破坏的措施你可以采用。

Deal with it. There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes， you just need to suck it up and deal with it. For the most part， the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control， remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson： You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

忍耐。和别人同住，总有些事情要适应。有时你需要接受、忍耐。大多数情况下，烦扰你的都是你可以忍受一年的小事情。如果你控制不住你的烦躁，记住罗伯特·安东·威尔逊的这句话：你所爱之物有多大，你就有多大；你所烦之事有多小，你就有多小。

Talk to your roommate. Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate you about the situation. Maybe he snores. Maybe he keeps the TV on while you do homework. Whatever it is， dont yell and dont accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean， the situation will get out of control， nothing will get solved， and youll both be angry. Also， if youre going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them， you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.

和室友谈谈。双方坐下来，针对现状中激怒你的关键问题交流一下。可能他打呼噜，可能他在你做作业的时候看电视。不管是什么，不要大吵，不要指责。镇定点，友好简洁地阐述你的想法。从大处着眼。如果你一开始就吹毛求疵，小里小气，局面将会失控，什么也解决不了，彼此都会感到不快。此外，如果你打算和你的室友谈谈他的问题，你要能够应对他提出的有关于你的问题。处理问题要随机应变，愿意妥协。

Talk to your RA. Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommates head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now. You can work your problems out by yourselves. However， if youve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate， you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable， there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.

告诉辅导员。在和室友沟通之前，不要走这一步。越过室友是不体谅的行为。你现在长大了，你可以独力解决自己的问题。如果你和室友沟通之后，两人之间的分歧依然很大，这时你需要第三方的介入。如果局面不可调和，通常的处理方法是：你换到另外一间寝室，拥有新的室友。

Get out of your room. This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating， just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friends room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways， and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.

走出房间。或许这是所有方案中最简单的一种。如果你的室友正在房间里做什么让你生气的事情，那就离开房间。需要学习，就去图书馆或计算机房。只是需要找个地方躲避，就去朋友的房间。离开房间无论如何对你都是好的，并且有些时候远离室友将有助于避免你们之间的紧张升级。

Word Study

constantly /'k?nst?ntli/ adv. 一直地；反复不断地

He talked constantly about his work.

alleviate /?'li?vie?t/ v. 减轻；缓和

Nowadays， a great deal can be done to alleviate back pain.

offend /?'fend/ v. 得罪；冒犯

Theyll be offended if you dont go to their wedding.

compromise /'k?mpr?ma?z/ n. 妥协；互让

In any relationship， you have to make compromises.

tension /'ten??n/ n. （情緒上的）紧张；烦躁

We laughed and that helped ease the tensions.

flexible /fleks?b?l/ adj. 灵活的；可变动的

We can be flexible about your starting date.endprint