如何在雅思写作中克服模板？

文/唐老雅

如何在雅思写作中克服模板？

文/唐老雅1

不知从什么时候开始，中国的雅思写作培训变成了模板培训，很多“雅思名师”呕心沥血，总结出了写作的所谓“万能模板”，并在教学中让学生按照模板，依葫芦画瓢，其结果是学生在写作过程中千篇一律，篇篇似曾相识。然而，模板写作的最严重后果还不止于此，它让学生思维僵化，大量使用模板又让作文空洞无物。这样的作文面目可憎，读起来味同嚼蜡，即使句句都写正确了，但得分很难上5分。因此，很多同学如果按照自己的水平去写，本可以得6分，但他若不自信，使用培训老师的万能模板，得分却反而降至5分，翻来覆去也想不明白：原来，雅思写作过多使用模板，会被考官压分至死的！

那么，怎么办？怎样才能在写作中消灭模板，让作文具有一定程度的个性化特征呢？老雅认为，消灭模板的办法有两个：一是让作文内容具体化和细节化，二是在语言表达时注意灵活性，两者的完美结合就会帮助考生摆脱模板，进行真正的思想表达。

一、内容的具体化和细节化

雅思作文开头，通常都需要对题目进行重新表述。模板式开头往往要求学生套用某些句型，比如“今天，……问题已经引起了大众的热烈讨论”，或者“当我们谈及……问题时，有些人认为……，而另外一些人认为……”。从某种意义上看，这样的模板的确是万能的，但万能就意味着失去个性。解决办法是：在重述题目的时候，对题目的关键词进行具体化和细节化处理，从而使作文的开头带上明显的个性化特征。

比如，2017年3月25日雅思考试作文问：在当今社会，学生们获取信息的途径很多，这是不是意味着老师没有用处了？对于这个题目，如果使用模板，就可以这样开头：When it comes to the role teachers play in modern education, some people think that they are useless because students can obtain information from many sources, while others think teachers are still very useful...，虽然这样的开头并没有大的错误，但内容显得过于拘谨，难以给考官留下好的印象。我们完全可以通过对题目关键概念进行细节化，使文章开头显得更为生动。请看：

Nowadays it is not uncommon to see a teacher lecturing laboriously with some students fi xing their eyes on their laptop screen or smartphone and others sleeping. The reasons for this pathetic situation are varied, one important being that, with more sources of information at hand, students do not have to rely on their teachers as much as before for things they want to know. While this is certainly true in a sense, I still hold that the teacher does have a role to play in modern education. 【原载2017年3月26日“唐老雅英语写作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

在这里，老雅通过描写一个具体场景（老师辛苦讲课，但一些学生却在看手机，还有学生在睡觉）来引出文章需要讨论的话题，即老师到底还有没有用处？与模板相比，老雅的范文明显更生动、更特别。

再如，2017年2月18日的雅思考试作文：科技有时候让我们的生活变复杂了，为了让我们的生活简单一些，我们是否应该拒绝科技？如果使用“万能模板”开头法，大致就是：Nowadays, whether we should embrace high technology has become a heated topic among people. Some think..., while others think...。同样，这个开头也不能算错误，但显得很死板，缺乏灵活性。如果我们描写一下科技如何让我们的生活变复杂了，作文的开头马上就生动起来：

Technology is not always an angel, rather, in some cases, it may turn out to be a devil making our life rather miserable and complicated. Indeed, besides having to take trouble to learn to use the technology, who has not at least once cursed the technology when he fl ips open his computer for some important data only to fi nd that the computer breaks down or when he is eager to fl y to a city for a life-anddeath business negotiation only to be told that his fl ight is canceled?【原载2017年2月19日“唐老雅英语写作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

在这里，老雅范文列举两个实际生活中的具体例子来重述题目中的关键概念，即高科技让我们的生活变得复杂了。与模板式开头相比，老雅范文的优势一目了然。

在论证观点的过程中，举例往往是克服模板、实现个性化写作的一种有效办法。举例的时候，我们应尽量提供具体的相关细节，这样文章显得既可信，又有生动性。

比如，To be sure, ambition is like the force driving people to move on toward their goals. With certain ambition in mind, people will set about making plans, taking actions and then will persist when they encounter difficulties. My friend John is a perfect example. Ten years ago, when I fi rst got to know him, he told me he dreamed of becoming the best photographer in this country. Then he began to travel to all places in China, no matter how dangerous and remote they are and just last month he published his first photography book which contains a lot of fantastic pictures he took. 【原载2017年2月15日“唐老雅英语写作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

本段旨在论证“有志向的人会坚持”这样一个论点。在举例中，老雅范文写出了以下细节：（1）具体名字（John），（2）具体时间（ten years ago/ last month），（3）具体事情（become the best photographer in this country/ travelled to all places in China/published his fi rst photography book）。这样的例证就显得既具体，也有说服力。

再如，However, it does not follow that university students must con fi ne themselves to the library and the classroom. Quite the opposite, they ought to engage in as many extracurricular activities as possible, for if the academic study makes them prepared intellectually, these club activities may be helpful to their future career in many different ways. For example, sports make them physically stronger, boat racing makes them more cooperative, writing makes them more expressive, and camping makes them more persistent. Even those more leisurely activities such as guitar playing or singing can relieve the students of their heavy load of academic work and make them more resilient to physical and emotional stresses in life. 【原载2017年8月29日“唐老雅英语写作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

本段需要论证“大学生应该尽量多地参加课外活动”，老雅举出了很多具体例子证明各种课外活动对学生的好处，包括运动、划船、写作、露营、弹吉他、唱歌等。这样的例子是任何模板写作模式都无法企及的，其丰富性和独特性给作文增色不少。

二、语言表达的灵活性

英语写作中，语言表达的灵活性主要体现在用词的灵活性和句法的灵活性。用词方面，要避免无谓的重复，同时建议尽量使用短语词组；句法方面，要避免过度使用同一句型，还要注意句型的多样性。与此相对照，模板作文的语言表达则不可能体现出灵活性。

剑桥雅思第10版Test 3的作文问：当今人们都在购买和使用同样的产品，国家之间就趋同了，这种现象是好还是坏？我们来分析该书为本题给出的满分作文中的如下句子：

（1）The spread of multinational products can often bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as people turn to buying the new brand, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are used to.

比较：The spread of multinational products can often make people lose their job, because people will buy the new brand, for they think it is more fashionable than the local brand. （7分）

再比较：More and more multinational products can often let people without job, because people will buy the new brand, they think the new brand is better than the old brand. （5—6分）

原文一口气使用了三个词组，包括in its wake（紧随其后），a loss of job（失去工作），be used to（习惯……），同时使用了as引导的原因状语，thinking非谓语动词引导的分词短语（也表示原因）。如果将...bring in its wake a loss of jobs改为...make people lose their job, 将as改为because，将thinking改为for they think，虽然意思完全没变，但是语言的灵活性则失去了一大半。

（2）Some may argue that all people are entitled to have access to the same products, but I say that local objects suit local conditions best, and that faceless uniformity worldwide is an unwelcome and dreary prospect.

比较：Some people may say/claim that all people should be allowed to use the same products, but I say that local objects are better, and that it is not a very good picture to see the world has the same face.（6—7分)

再比较：Some people may say that we all should use the same products, but I think the local things are better, I don’t like to see the world has the same face.（5分)

原文使用了be entitled to...（有权利做……）和have access to... (可以使用……）两个词组，同时在I say后面接了两个that从句。如果将all people are entitled to have access to the same products改为all people should be allowed to use the same products，表达上就大为逊色了。

（3）To see the same products in shops the world over is boring, and does not impel visitors to open their wallets in the same way that trinkets or souvenirs unique to the particular area do.

比较：It is boring if we see the same products in shops everywhere in the world, and we will not buy them, but when we see the local products, we may open our wallets. （6分）

再比较：It is boring to see the same products everywhere in the world, you won’t buy them, but when we see the local things, we may buy it. （5分）

原文使用了to do ... is boring这个句型，同时用比较句型很紧凑地比较两件不同事物引起的结果。比较文的句型显得十分松散，没有显示出对句型使用的控制力。 □

1 唐伟胜，广东外语外贸大学教授，博士，英美文学研究专家。

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