I Won

陈传光

Last Friday， our school holds① a sports meeting. I went to school earlier than usual. I took part in the Boys 100-metre race.

There were six boys in the group. At first， Zhang Hao， a boy from Class 3， ran the fastest. I tried my best but② caught up with him. We were neck and neck. The race was over， and I came out first. The PE teacher told me that I did well at③ the last few seconds. I did my best in the race and I will do my best in everything.

江苏省连云港市赣榆区罗阳中学七（3）班 张倩

点评

1. 优点：

本文讲述了作者参加体育比赛获得第一名的经历。可贵之处在于，作者在体育比赛中获得了启示：做每件事都要尽力做好。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当，是一篇不錯的学生习作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①holds改为held。结合时间状语Last Friday，此处应使用一般过去式形式。

②but改为and。上下文之间是并列关系，不是转折关系。

③at改为in。in搭配时间段，意为“在……时间里”。

3. 评分：

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准，本文修改前可得23分。endprint