《我的山林》(节选二)
2017-02-07克雷格黑德乔治译析吴文安
文/琼·克雷格黑德·乔治 译析/吴文安
《我的山林》(节选二)
文/琼·克雷格黑德·乔治 译析/吴文安
When I wrote that last winter, I was scared and thought maybe I’d never get out of my tree. I had been scared for two days—ever since the fi rst blizzard hit the Catskill Mountains.When I came up to the sunlight, which I did by simply poking my head into the soft snow and standing up, I laughed at my dark fears.
[2] Everything was white, clean,shining, and beautiful. The sky was blue, blue, blue. The hemlock grove was laced with snow, the meadow was smooth and white, and the gorge was sparkling with ice. It was so beautiful and peaceful that I laughed out loud.I guess I laughed because my first snowstorm was over and it had not been so terrible after all.
[3] Then I shouted, “I did it!” My voice never got very far. It was hushed by the tons of snow.
[4] I looked for signs from The Baron Weasel. His footsteps were all over the boulder, also slides where he had played. He must have been up for hours,enjoying the new snow.
[5] Inspired by his fun, I poked my head into my tree and whistled.Frightful, my trained falcon, flew to my fist, and we jumped and slid down the mountain, making big holes and trenches as we went. It was good to be whistling and carefree again, because I was sure scared by the coming of that storm.
[6] I had been working since May,learning how to make a fire with flint and steel, finding what plants I could eat, how to trap animals and catch fish—all this so that when the curtain of blizzard struck the Catskills, I could crawl inside my tree and be comfortably warm and have plenty to eat.
[7] During the summer and fall I had thought about the coming of winter. However, on that third day of December when the sky blackened,the temperature dropped, and the first fl akes swirled around me. I must admit I wanted to run back to New York.Even the first night that I spent out in the woods, when I couldn’t get the fi re started, was not as frightening as the snowstorm that gathered behind the gorge and mushroomed up over my mountain.
[8] I was smoking three trout. It was nine o’clock in the morning. I was busy keeping the flames low so they would not leap up and burn the fish.As I worked, it occurred to me that it was awfully dark for that hour of the morning. Frightful was leashed to her tree stub. She seemed restless and pulled at her tethers. Then I realized that the forest was dead quiet. Even the woodpeckers that had been tapping around me all morning were silent. The squirrels were nowhere to be seen. The juncos and chickadees and nuthatches were gone. I looked to see what The Baron Weasel was doing. He was not around. I looked up.
去年冬天,我写日记的时候,感到非常恐慌,心想也许再也不能走出树屋了。有两天时间我都惊恐不安,自从第一次暴风雪袭击卡茨基尔山之后就是如此。可是当我来到阳光下,从大雪覆盖的树屋门口探出头并站起身来,忍不住笑了,为自己的惶惶不可终日而笑。
[2]一切都洁白无瑕,一尘不染,闪闪发亮,美不胜收。天空碧蓝碧蓝碧蓝的。铁杉树丛披上了白雪制作的蕾丝花边,草坪银装素裹平滑如镜,峡谷里因为冰雪而银光闪闪。四周如此美丽和静谧,我忍不住大笑起来。我想,我之所以大笑,是因为我经历的第一场暴风雪已经结束,而且它根本不是那么可怕。
[3]那时我大喊:“我成功了!”但我的声音传不远。厚厚的大雪吸收了我的声音。
[4]我四处寻找“黄鼠狼男爵”的踪影。大石头上到处都是他的脚印,他滑行过的地方也留下了痕迹。他一定起床好几个小时了,在这场初雪中玩了个够。
[5]既然黄鼠狼喜欢玩雪,我们也可以,我把头伸到树屋里面,吹了声口哨。训练有素的猎鹰“惊悚”飞到我的拳头上,我们一起蹦蹦跳跳,沿着山坡滑行,在身后留下巨大的雪坑和雪沟。能再次吹起口哨无忧无虑真是太好了,因为暴风雪来临把我吓得够呛。
[6]从五月份开始,我就在为过冬做准备,学习如何用燧石和钢片生火,寻找能吃的植物,学习如何设陷阱抓动物和钓鱼 —— 所有这一切都是为了在暴风雪肆虐卡茨基尔山之际,我能够爬进树屋,保持温暖舒适,并有足够的食物。
[7]夏天和秋天的时候,我想到过冬天降临。然而,十二月的第三天天色就变暗了,气温骤降,初雪的大片雪花就在身边飞舞。我得承认我当时想跑回纽约去。即便是初到树林中的第一夜,连火都生不了,我也没有这么害怕过。可是当积雪云从山谷后面集聚,越过大山滚滚而来,我不由得心生惧意。
[8]我当时正在熏着三条鳟鱼。那是早上九点钟。我正忙着让火焰低一些,不要跳起来烧到鱼。我一边忙活,突然意识到早上那个时间不该如此黑暗。“惊悚”被拴在树桩上。她似乎惶恐不安,总在拽她的脚绳。那时我觉察到森林里一片死寂。甚至一早上都在周围敲敲打打的啄木鸟们也安静下来。松鼠踪迹全无。灯芯草雀、山雀和五十雀也了无踪影。我想找找,看“黄鼠狼男爵”在干什么。他不在附近。我朝上看。
【背景知识】深山老林的第一个冬天里,山姆因经验不足而恐慌。他为衣食而忧,为大雪封山而愁。第一场暴风雪之前的乌云几乎就把他吓回纽约城。但大雪之后,却是美妙的景致和愉快的心情,这出乎他意料。
【第一段】第二句和第三句的句式处理值得思考,可以调换语序,也可以按照原句顺序顺译。为了保持原文的信息结构,译文保留了原文句序。最后一句中的poked my head into the soft snow如果照原文翻译意思不清楚,于是译文补足信息,让读者明白是山姆从树屋的门口探头出来,而门上是厚厚的大雪。单词dark意思是“黑暗的、无望的”,而dark fear的译文稍作演绎,为“惶惶不可终日”。
【第二段】整段句子比较短,特别容易理解,语言看似平实,实则意境优美,翻译难度不小。比如短句“The sky was blue, blue, blue.”中重复blue一词,属于刻意的修辞,译文应该再现原文的形式。此处译文略饰文采,只为传译原文优美的情景。
【第三段】最后一句中的hush一词颇费思量,意思为“使得……寂静”,中文选词却困难,最后勉强选了“吸收”二字。
【第四段】第二句是个省略句,隐含了footsteps were also all over slides,容易出错。而enjoying the new snow的译文稍作增译,为“在这场初雪中玩了个够”。
【第五段】第一句极为简单,意义却曲折而丰富。山姆看到黄鼠狼能在雪里玩,想到自己和猎鹰应该也可以玩,于是吹口哨把猎鹰唤出来。为了联系上下文,译文补出短句“我们也可以”。词语big holes and trenches都指雪地上留下的痕迹,因此补出“雪坑和雪沟”。
【第六段】该段全文为一句话,句子较长,注意保持译文的连贯性即可。
【第七段】山姆想到过冬天,却未料到冬天骤至的方式。当乌云滚滚遮天蔽日而来,少年山姆吓慌了,甚至想跑回纽约去。这比他初到深山老林的第一晚都可怕。第四句中间有一个插入的时间状语从句,造成语义中断,因此译文前面使用“害怕”,后面使用“惧意”,力图贯穿上下文。
【第八段】这里原文用词十分细腻,比如it occurred to me、realized、awfully dark for等,译文也需要精心措辞。
【小结】一般说来,原文如果词语艰深语义晦涩,则翻译难度大。这一选文语言平实、浅显易懂、句式普通,然而翻译起来却左右掣肘颇费周章。第二段就是典型的例子。此时译者面临多重选择,会在朴素和雅致之间摇摆不定。无论如何,译者的选择决定译文的风格,同时也反映译者的文学鉴赏视角和品味。 □
My Side of the Mountain (Excerpt II)
ByJean Craighead George