Visiting Grandpa

Track 9

by anonymous

翻译：常青

Visiting Grandpa

外公，愿您一切安好

Track 9

by anonymous

翻译：常青

My eyes are filled with tears that threaten to1)spill over as I look at grandpa’s blank,2)pale blue eyes. My sister is just fnished reading a book written by Richard Paul Evans注1, and my mom turns to face her father who doesn’t even remember reading the same book the day before. “You were that dad for me,” she3)whispers. “Really?” he replies, smiling with his4)childlike5)oblivion. My mom nods, crying, and I6)clench my hands until my fngers turn white from loss of blood fow.

How can you actually have lost someone in your life when they are still living? Well, I’ve lost my grandpa to Alzheimer’s disease注2. Sometimes he says funny things that don’t make sense, like “You are a pretty7)pickle” or “I am the King of Pop-8)tarts” after some TV9)commercials. Even though I’ll laugh, my heart10)pangs with his loss of sense. I often wonder what he’d think if he were looking down on himself from the heavens. Maybe he’d be angry, at his forgotten11)dignity. Maybe he’d feel his family has left him in the time he needed us most.

注1：理查德·保罗·埃文斯，美国当代作家，著有小说《圣诞礼盒》。

注2：阿尔茨海默病（Alzheimer’s disease）亦称“阿尔茨海默氏痴呆”，老年期最常见的精神病。

This weekend, he is staying at a12)nursing home which is really nice, but I have never hated a place more. His wife, my grandma, is going to my great grandmother’s 100th birthday party in another state.13)Obviously, he is in no position to14)accompany her. He can15)barely walk since he doesn’t remember how to move his legs, and usually16)shuffles them uselessly on the foor.

Yesterday was my first time visiting him. He had been asleep that very morning and seemed quite enjoying it. He had his own room， with two17)armchairs and a bed which could sense change in18)pressure and would19)alarm the20)main desk if he got out of bed during the night. There were many activities for him to take part in, and when we came, he was sitting around a21)circular table where there was a bag of22)popcorn and a mini can of soda with a small23)straw24)sticking out of it. “Hey, papa,” my mom smiled, hugging him with her arms. I hugged him next and shaking arms gathered around me， his25)arthritic fingers kept26)stroking my shoulder. “I love you,” I whispered. As we took him back to his bedroom, I couldn’t help but27)glance into the other dark rooms where sick, lonely and elderly people lay still in their beds. There was often an28)oxygen machine by their side. They were all friendly, but I still felt29)awful.

I always thought, as a grandpa, I’d live happily, walking and talking until the very day I die. I always thought that I’d be well enough to see my grandchildren and play with them, despite with30)graying hair and difficulty in walking. But that kind of grandparents don’t live here, don’t live in

1) spill over 溢出

2) pale blue 淡蓝色

3) whisper ['wIspə] v. 低声说，耳语

4) childlike ['tʃaIldlaIk] adj. 天真烂漫的，孩子似的

5) oblivion [ə'blIvIən] n. 遗忘，忘却

6) clench [klentʃ] v. 握紧（拳头）

7) pickle ['pIkəl] n. 泡菜

8) tart [taːt] n. 果馅饼

9) commercial [kə'mʒːʃəl] n. 商业广告

10) pang [pæŋ] v. 使剧痛，使极度痛苦

11) dignity ['dIgnItI] n. 尊严

12) nursing home 养老院

13) obviously ['ɒbvIəslI] adv. 明显地

14) accompany [ə'kʌmpənI] v. 陪伴，伴随

15) barely ['beəlI] adv. 几乎不

16） shuffe ［'ʃʌfəl] v. 拖着步子走

17) armchair ['aːmtʃeə] n. 扶手椅

18) pressure ['preʃə] n. 压力

19) alarm [ə'laːm] v. 发出警报

20) main desk 主台

21) circular ['sʒːkjʊlə] adj. 圆形的

22) popcorn ['pɒpkɔːn] n. 爆米花

23) straw [strɔː] n. 吸管

24) stick [stIk] v. 伸出

25) arthritic [aː'θrItIk] adj. 关节炎的

26) stroke [strəʊk] v. 轻抚

27) glance [glaːns] v. 扫视

28） oxygen machine 制氧机

29) awful ['ɔːfʊl] adj. 可怕的，糟糕的

30) graying hair 白发the nursing home. These are the people that have the most31)severe diseases such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease注3， or in most cases， have diffculty with some32)physical side of their bodies.

Today when we went to visit grandpa, he was at the same table, playing with a puzzle. He was33)muttering some34)nonsense, obviously to the elderly man in front of him. “God loves all of his children,” the other man breathed heavily35)in response. I began to think of the life I may live so many years in the future. I may be just like the people I saw, sitting in a heavily36)equipped37)wheelchair with a clear38)tube running under my nose, or speaking words nonsense to each other.

This is the life I am given, and maybe when I’m very old, I won’t39)be in good condition. But for now, with my healthy body, I must live for all those people who can not do the things their hearts most desire. I must wake up every morning with the light shining through my window and jump out of bed. I must run through the big, green felds and feel the sunshine on my face. I must sing and40)prance around, enjoying life41)to the fullest. And perhaps someday, when I am dancing, someone very aged will be watching out of their windows and feel as if they were dancing too.

31) severe [sI'vIə] adj. 严重的

32) physical ['fIzIkəl] adj. 身体的

33) mutter ['mʌtə] v. 嘀咕

34) nonsense ['nɒnsəns] n. 无意义的话

35) in response 作为回答

36） equip ［I'kwIp] v. 装备，配备

37) wheelchair ['wiːltʃeə] n. 轮椅

38) tube ['tjuːb] n. 管子

39) be in good condition 身体状态好

40) prance [praːns] v. 昂首阔步，欢跃

41) to the fullest 尽情地，最充分地

注3：帕金森病（Parkinson’s disease）是一种常见的神经系统变性疾病，多见于老年人。

当我看着外公那空洞的浅蓝色双眼时，顿时热泪盈眶。我的姐姐刚好读完了理查德·保罗·埃文斯写的一本书，而我的母亲转身面向她的父亲—那个甚至忘记自己前一天刚读过同一本书的父亲。“你依然是我不变的父亲，”母亲轻声说道。“真的吗？”外公问道，他像个忘掉了一切烦恼的孩子般微笑着。母亲哭着点点头，而我紧握着拳头直到手指因为血液循环不畅而发白。

人们怎么会真的在生活中失去仍然健在的亲人呢？好吧，我已经失去了患上阿尔茨海默病的外公。有时候，当他看完一些电视广告，他就会说出一些好笑的完全无厘头的话，好比“你是一条美丽的泡菜”或是“我是馅饼之王”那样的话。虽然我会大笑，但一想到他是神志不清的，我就感到十分心痛。我常常想，如果他在天堂上看到自己变成这样，他会怎么想。或许他会生气，因为他那被遗忘的尊严。或许他会觉得当他最需要我们的时候，我们却把他丢下了。

这个周末，外公住进了一家服务很好的养老院里。可是，我从没如此讨厌过一个地方。他的老伴，也就是我的外婆，准备到另一个州去参加我曾祖母的百岁寿宴。很显然，外公不能陪她去了。自从他忘记了如何挪动自己的双腿后，他就几乎不怎么行走了。通常他就是在地板上无力地拖曳着双脚。

昨天，我第一次去探望了外公。他睡了整整一个上午，似乎十分享受。他单独住在一个房间里，房间里有两张扶手椅和一张能够感受到压力变化的病床。如果外公在夜里离开了病床，病床就会向主台发出警报。外公在那里可以参加很多活动。我们去探望外公的时候，外公就坐在一张圆桌旁，桌上放着一包爆米花还有一小罐插着吸管的汽水。母亲用双臂抱着外公，笑着说：“嘿，爸爸。”随后，我也去抱着外公。外公双臂颤抖，用患有关节炎的手指一直轻抚着我的肩膀。“我爱你。”我低声说道。当我们带外公回卧房时，我忍不住瞥了一眼其他几个昏暗的房间。在那些房间里，身患疾病的孤独老人静静地躺在病床上。他们身旁通常会有一台制氧机。他们看上去都十分亲切，可是我仍然感觉很糟糕。

我常常在想，当我成为了外公，我会快乐地活着，还能走路，还能说话，直至死去的那一天。我一直觉得，即便我头发花白、行动不便，我还是能够看着我的孙子孙女们成长并且和他们一起玩耍。但那样的老人并不住在这里，不住在养老院里。养老院里的老人大多都患有阿尔茨海默病或帕金森病等最为严重的疾病，他们身体中的某一处往往存在病痛。

今天我们去探望外公的时候，他还是坐在那张圆桌旁，玩起了拼图。显然他正对着他面前的一位老人咕哝着一些毫无意义的话。这位老人深深地吸了口气，回应外公：“上帝爱他所有的儿女。”我开始想象着自己在多年后的未来可能会过的生活。我可能会像我眼前的这些老人们一样，坐在一张配备齐全的轮椅上，鼻子里插着透明的吸氧管，又或是和其他人互相说着一些毫无意义的话。

或许当我很老很老的时候，我将不再健康，而这就是我被赋予的生命。不过现在，趁我还有一个健康的身体时，我一定要为那些无法达成心底最大渴望的人们好好地活着。每当晨间的阳光穿透窗户时，我一定要从床上跳起来。我一定要在宽广的草坪上奔跑，好好地感受那洒在脸上的阳光。我要一边唱歌，一边欢跃，尽情地享受生活。然后或许有一天，会有一个老人透过窗子看到我在外面跳舞，而他会感觉自己仿佛也在欢快地舞动着。