世界那么大,要不要去看看
2016-10-09
一场说走就走的旅行真的能让你跳出沉闷生活的樊笼,到达理想生活的彼岸吗?也许,一切并不像你想象得那么简单……
Around four years ago today, I was sitting in an office, staring out the window, dreaming of travel. Id finished university a few years earlier and instead of continuing to chase my passions, I had stayed put1). I was trapped like a deer in the headlights of life. Paralysed and unable to do anything.
My friends all seemed to have gone on to better things. But me? I still lived with my parents, moving between menial jobs, doing not a lot of anything. Just sitting in an office day-by-day. Staring out that window. Dreaming.
Always my dreams turned to travel. Adventure, excitement. I would get depressed at work wondering about why I wasnt on a beach instead. Or standing at the top of a mountain.
I was fooling myself. I didnt want adventure. I wanted to escape. To get out of the dull hole that had become my life. So I booked a one-way ticket to Canada and soon found myself on a working holiday.
In the weeks before leaving, a lot of co-workers, friends, and family started to fill my head with doubts. How are you going to survive!? How will you manage? I didnt know the answers. But I felt like I was barely surviving in England, so leaving didnt faze me. My life was about to change for the better. It had happened to so many others. Travel had changed their lives. It would change mine too. This was the start of my own inspiring story.
One Year Later
Exactly one year later I was in Canada. Sitting in an office much like the one Id left behind. Staring out of another window. Wondering what had happened with my inspiring travel story. I still had a job I didnt enjoy, most of my time was spent doing things I didnt care about. Still, now I had a counter-argument to these woes. They didnt matter because I was travelling. I was having an adventure. That was enough.
I reasoned that working a job I didnt love was worth the sacrifice. I was living in a new place, had good friends, eating in amazing restaurants, enjoying myself. I was gaining confidence and self-belief. Something Id never managed back home. For once I was free to do whatever I wanted, free from the expectations of others.
Two and a Half Years Later
Skip forward to now. Ive done a few more menial jobs Ive disliked. Lived in a couple more countries. Recently arriving in Australia.
When I arrived here, I was plunged into crisis mode. I could see my year and life before me. Id find another menial job, maybe explore some of Australia. Do that for a year. Go home, then probably fall back into the same dull routine. I came to the realisation that despite travelling, Im no happier than when I had left England. In four years, Ive learnt a lot, but nothing thats directly had an impact on my problems or life.
Many seem to think that travel is the cure-all answer to every problem. That by travelling, we will be starting our own inspirational story. Thats how I felt before leaving. I thought I would find myself. That I would be so completely changed by travel that every problem I had would be erased. But most problems I had at home remain with me still. I still have little self-belief, still experience anxiety and depression. Still stuck in those headlights of life.
After almost four years of travel, I finally realise that when I left to travel, it wasnt to solve my problems but to run away from them.
Will Travel Solve Your Problems?
A lot of us fall into the trap of thinking travel will solve our problems. But some problems can only be solved by tackling them head on. Travel wont make you any happier if it doesnt change anything that relates to your problems.
To illustrate this, lets imagine that your goal in life is to become an alpaca2) farmer. Youre stuck in a dead end3) job at home, not an alpaca in sight. Youre depressed and think youll never own that farm.
Youve seen all these articles online about travel and how it lead to so much happiness and wish fulfillment for others. Plus its so easy. All you need to do is leave. Pretty soon youre also thinking that travel will make you happy and fulfil your dreams. So you go away and travel and you have a great time.
Travel is so intense that it can dazzle you for months or even years. Youre experiencing so many new things that youre constantly in the now. The future doesnt matter when youre bungee jumping4) off an elephant. But soon things settle down and when you get time to think, your mind will soon drift back to that farm.
Travel becomes that menial job, the world becomes your office. You find yourself staring longingly outwards. Dreaming of alpacas.
Thats not to say your travel has been wasted. Maybe it will just show you what youve always known anyway. That you really need to focus on the alpaca problem. Maybe it will give you enough confidence to follow that alpaca dream.
But if you already know what your problems are, you dont need to travel to solve them. Travel may not even help!
The Positive Benefits of Travel
This isnt to say that travel isnt completely therapeutic5). Travelling around alone can be great.
Many of us spend our whole lives on set paths that are more or less planned. We go to school, university, have the family and kids. We never leave this path or our bubble6). Were constantly surrounded by others, their opinions and expectations.
By travelling, you can get off that path for a bit. For the first time in your life, there is no real plan and nobody else around us to influence our decisions. Its just us and nobody else. We have to rely on ourselves. Become completely independent. For once you will be truly alone and this can help you to learn more about your limits and needs. But will it make you an alpaca farmer? Im not so sure.
Travel can solve some problems. Maybe your only problem is that you lack confidence or youre socially anxious. Travel can help you to overcome these things. Being in new places can push you to your limits and really test you. But Im not sure it can help too much when it comes to those deep existential problems.
Quitting Your Job to Scoop7) Ice Cream
One story that has been making the rounds is about a woman who quit her $95,000 a year job to scoop ice cream on a tropical island. Many have been inspired by her story, but I scoff in their direction. I think people are romanticising her story. Scooping ice cream on a tropical island. Watching beautiful sunsets every night. We can see ourselves wanting the same, especially when we compare it to our own lives. Sitting in an office all day, staring out the window hoping for more. Shes escaped that life. We think her life sounds perfect.
But its not perfect. Were not looking at the reality. After six months of ice cream scooping, I would be ready to kill myself—as would most of us. It sounds cool, but how many of us would actually be satisfied with scooping ice cream for a living, regardless of where we were?
Im sure it worked for her because for once in her life she was alone without expectations. Nobody around to judge you. The only person you know is you. Everybody you know is so far away that they see your life through a lens. Whoa, shes on a tropical island selling ice cream. Her life is a dream.
This tropical dream could be a nightmare though. Stuck on an island thousands of miles from our friends and family. Still working in a low-waged job where we can barely afford to live. Our creature comforts gone. Wed all be satisfied for a year or two, but eventually wed start to question our existence. Because again our surroundings have changed but we havent. Our problems arent solved just put to the background for a bit. Travel for many is a short term solution to a long term problem.
The narrative of travelling to solve our woes sells newspapers though, so well keep on hearing it and keep on believing it. Just remember, that doesnt make it true. If you already know your problems, you dont need travel to solve them. You can tackle them head on at home. Maybe you do need to get away from your surroundings, family and friends to help. But if you travel theyll still be there when you get back, along with all your problems.
大概是四年前的今天,我正坐在办公室里,凝望窗外,梦想去旅行。在几年前,我完成了大学学业。那会儿我选择了安稳,而不是继续追寻梦想。我像一头牢笼中的小鹿,在生活大灯的笼罩下,呆若木鸡,又对一切无能为力。
我的朋友们几乎都继续去追寻更好的生活了,可我呢?我还跟父母住在一起,先后做的都是卑微的工作,一事无成,就这样日复一日地坐在办公室里,呆望窗外,做着白日梦。
我总是梦想去旅行,冒险探索,惊心动魄。我会对工作打不起精神,为自己不能徜徉在海滩或屹立于山巅而疑惑。
我那是在自欺欺人。我并不想冒险,而是想逃避,逃避无聊的生活境况。于是我订了一张去往加拿大的单程票,并且很快发现自己在一边度假一边工作。
离开前的几周里,许多同事、朋友、家人开始向我提出各种怀疑。你打算怎么生存!?你怎么处理各种难题?对答案我一无所知。但我觉得在英格兰实在熬不下去了,所以离开不会让我惊慌失措。我的生活会变得更加美好。这在许多人身上应验过。旅行改变了他们的生活,也会改变我的生活。这会是我励志故事的开端。
一年后
整整一年后,我住在加拿大,坐在办公室里——跟我已逃离的那间办公室几乎一样——再一次凝望着窗外,惊异于我那励志的旅行故事到底怎么了。我仍做着一份自己不怎么喜欢的工作,把大部分时间花在我不感兴趣的事情上。然而,现在我对这些不开心的事有了不同的辩解理由。这都不算什么,因为我在旅途中。我在进行一场冒险之旅。这就足够了。
我说服自己,做一份不喜欢的工作,这种牺牲是值得的。因为我住在一个新地方,有好朋友,到好吃的餐厅享受美食,享受生活。我获得了自信,那是我在家时做不到的。至少这一次我可以随心所欲做我想做的事,不用活在他人的期待里。
两年半以后
快进到现在。我已经又做了几份不喜欢的无聊工作,又多待了几个国家,最近来到了澳大利亚。
一到这儿,我就陷入了危机模式。我可以预见到今后的日子和生活。我会找到另一份乏味的工作,也许会到澳大利亚的某些地方探险。就这样干上一年。回家,然后可能再次陷入同样单调的日常生活。我意识到自己尽管在旅行,但并不比当年离开英格兰时更快乐。四年里,我学到了很多,但都没有对我遇到的问题或对我的人生产生直接的影响。
似乎很多人觉得旅行是解决一切问题的灵丹妙药,觉得旅行会帮我们开启自己的励志故事。没离开英格兰时我就是这么想的。我觉得我会发现自我。旅行会让我发生翻天覆地的变化,所有问题都会迎刃而解。但是大部分我在家时的问题依然存在。我还是没什么自信,仍会焦虑抑郁。在生活大灯的笼罩下,我还是呆若木鸡。
外出旅行近四年之后,我终于意识到当年离家出游并没有解决我的问题,我只是在回避问题。
旅行能解决你的问题吗?
我们中有许多人都落入了圈套,认为旅行能解决我们所面临的问题。然而有些问题只能用直接面对的方法来解决。旅行如果没能让你的问题有所改观,是不会让你更快乐的。
为了说明这一点,让我们来想象一下,你的人生目标是成为一名养羊驼的农场主。而目前你在家的工作陷入了死胡同,看不到养羊驼的希望。你消沉沮丧,觉得永远不可能拥有那样的农场。
你已看遍了网上所有关于旅行的文章,见识到旅行是如何让别人获得那么多快乐、如何让别人如愿以偿的。而且,这是如此简单。你所要做的就是离开。你马上也会觉得旅行会使你变得快乐,会帮你实现梦想。于是你来了场说走就走的旅行,并享受了一段曼妙的时光。
旅行太刺激了,以至于你为此兴奋了几个月甚至几年。你在体验众多新鲜事物,时时活在当下。当你从大象身上纵身一跃蹦极时,未来不再重要。但是不久,当事情都恢复正常,你又有时间思考时,你的思绪很快又会飘回农场。
旅行变成了那份无聊的工作,世界成了你的办公室。你发现自己又开始热切地向外张望,梦想着羊驼牧场的远方。
但这并不是说你的旅行是徒劳无益的。也许它会让你明白自己已经知晓了什么,让你明白自己真正需要关注的是羊驼这个问题。或许它会给你足够的信心来追寻养羊驼的梦想。
但是如果你已经明白自己的问题是什么,你就不需要通过旅行去解决了。旅行可能根本毫无帮助。
旅行带来的益处
这并不是说旅行一点益处都没有。独自一人旅行也是不错的。
我们中许多人一辈子都按照特定的路径生活,而且路径或多或少是规划好了的。我们读书,上大学,成家立业,生儿育女。我们从未偏离轨道或者摆脱这不靠谱的规划。我们一直被他人包围,被他们的想法束缚,并活在他人的期望里。
你可以借旅行稍微偏离一下轨道。人生中第一次没有具体的计划,也没人在我们周围左右我们的抉择。只有我们,没有其他人。我们必须靠自己,完全独立自主。这一次你会是真正的孤身一人,这样会帮你更多地了解自己的极限和需求。但这能使你成为羊驼农场主吗?我不太确定。
旅行能解决某些问题。也许你唯一的问题就是缺乏自信或者有社交恐惧症。旅行能帮助你克服这些缺点。待在新环境里能让你直面自己的局限,面临真正的考验。但我不确定的是,当你面对的是那些深层次的事关生存的问题时,旅行能帮上你多大忙。
放弃工作去卖冰激凌
曾经有个广为流传的故事,讲的是一个女孩辞掉了年薪九万五千美金的工作到一个热带岛屿上卖冰淇淋。这个故事激励了许多人,但我却对人们的盲从嗤之以鼻。我认为大家把她的故事理想化了:在一个热带小岛上铲着冰淇淋,每晚欣赏着美丽的日落。我们会发现,我们自己也想拥有同样的生活,特别是当我们把这场景和我们已有的生活对比之后——整日坐在办公室里,呆望着窗外,渴望更富有激情的生活。而她却已逃离了这种生活。我们觉得她的日子听起来相当不错。
但是这并不完满。我们没有看到现实。如果我铲了六个月的冰淇淋,想死的心都会有了——我们大多数人可能都会那样。在小岛卖冰淇淋听起来很酷,但事实上,无论在哪儿,我们中又有多少人会满足于靠卖冰淇淋谋生呢?
我敢肯定,这么做之所以对她行得通,是因为这是她人生中第一次独自一人,不用考虑他人的期望。没人在周围评头品足。了解你的人只有你自己。每一个你认识的人都离你那么远,他们只有透过镜头才能了解你的生活。哇哦,她在一个热带小岛上卖冰淇淋。她的生活就像梦一样。
然而,这个热带梦想也可能是场噩梦。困在一个离朋友和家人数千里以外的小岛上。还做着一份收入微薄、几乎无法糊口的工作。我们的物质享受没有了。我们可能会为此心满意足一两年,但最终我们会开始质疑自己的生存状态。因为又一次,我们周遭的环境发生了变化,可我们自己却还是老样子。我们的问题悬而未决,只不过稍稍放到不引人注意的地方而已。对许多人来说,旅行是针对长期存在问题的短期解决方案。
可是,那些说旅行能帮我们摆脱困境的文章却让报刊大卖,所以我们会继续听到此类说法,并且还会继续相信。只是要记得,这些说法不会变成现实。你如果已经明白自己的症结所在,就不需要用旅行去解决。你可以足不出户,面对问题,直接解决。或许你的确需要跳出周遭环境,离开家人和朋友,以促进问题的解决。但是如果你来一场说走就走的旅行,回来时,不仅周遭人事不变,那些问题也还在等着你。