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多棱镜

2015-01-17

汉语世界 2015年6期
关键词:孙佳慧

多棱镜

KILL YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SAVE YOUR MOM

Examinees taking China’s National Judicial Exam found a rather weird, potentially awkward question on their test papers. Perhaps it would have been better suited to a girlfriend rather than the impersonal hand of the examiners: “True or false: In a fire that traps both his mother and girlfriend, Person A has the ability to rescue his mother but isn’t able to do so because he rescues his girlfriend. With no intention to commit a crime, his action constitutes negligence.” Days after the exam, the Ministry of Justice actually answered the question. Apparently it is indeed a crime of inaction if the man chooses his girlfriend over his mother because, according to the law in China, a son has a duty of care for his mother, not his girlfriend. This answer sparked wide discussion on social media. Supporters said that it would be heartless to leave one’s mother in danger, but others insisted that all lives are equal.

E.T.DOEsN’tPHONE HOmE

Lei Zhihong is a 13-year-old boy. At least, that’s what he looks like. He may actually be the prince of an alien planet, according to a note he left his parents when he boarded a train from his home in Ningxiang, Hunan Province. “My planet is in grave danger now, I must return to save my people,” the note read. He also thanked his mortal parents for taking care of him for so many years. A handful of netizens joked that it might be true, because, of course they did. It’s the internet. Most, however, were worried about his safety. Luckily, five days later, his relatives found him in an internet bar in Changsha, Hunan Province, over 50 kilometers away from his home. Lei confessed that he just wanted to find an excuse to play computer games during the holidays. “It wasn’t me who came up with the idea to write this letter. I copied it from my friends online,” he added. According to the report, Lei’s relatives eventually located him by tracking the last place he logged into his QQ account. This E.T. should have phoned home.

THE GREAT SHRIMP GOUGE

In the eyes of netizens, ordering a plate of shrimp in a Qingdao restaurant has become the latest status symbol, after the misadventures of a Nanjing chap surnamed Zhu. Zhu was on holiday with his family, and when they had dinner at a local restaurant, he ordered a dish of“ocean-caught large prawns” clearly marked on the menu as costing 38 RMB. But when Zhu finished the treat and was ready to pay the bill, he was shocked to see the frightening sum of 2,175 RMB, with the shrimp alone costing 1,520 RMB. He was told that the 38 RMB price was per shrimp. The owner helpfully pointed out a small line at the bottom of the menu, which read “the seafood listed above is the price per item”. Zhu tried to refuse to pay, but the owner brought out a stick and threatened to beat him. Finally, Zhu paid 2,000 RMB for his seafood meal and posted the bill online. Of course, internet outrage erupted and the “38 RMB large prawn” became a trending topic on Weibo, lambasting the money-grubbing restaurant and the deceptive practice. According to the latest reports, after the authorities got involved, the owner of the restaurant returned the extra money to Zhu and apologized.

CRABS AND BOOZE SAVE A LIFE

Even for the most professional and experienced negotiator, it is not easy to stop a man who has made up his mind to commit suicide. But where negotiators may fail, crabs may succeed. In October, a man around 30 years old surnamed Wang stood on a balcony outside the third floor of a residential building claiming he would jump. The local police, firemen, neighbors, and passersby gathered quickly and tried to convince him to come down safely. But after six hours, the man wouldn’t budge. However, events took a dramatic turn when the man’s roommate appeared with a secret weapon—a basket of hairy crabs and beer. People there were stunned to hear the short but powerful speech from Wang’s roommate: “Hey, buddy! Come on, let’s have some crabs and beer!” Wang looked at his friend and the crabs and apparently discovered a reason to go on. His shrewd roommate then suggested the police disperse the crowd so Wang could come down without feeling embarrassed. Wang surrendered to the lure, and came down safely.

HOW TO BE A MAN

Ah, a “school of female virtue”. Surely such an institution will promote virtues such as independence, forthrightness, and intellectual curiosity? Okay, you knew that wasn’t where this was going. These schools have unsurprisingly caused a backlash, because while they claim to promote traditional Chinese culture, they basically teach women: “No talking back to your husband,” and “always be submissive and never get divorced”. As such, Fang Gang, a famous sexologist, decided to make a difference by opening up a “male-virtue school”. Unlike the “female virtue schools” which have had a depressing amount of popularity, only about ten people applied for these courses, with only two of them real applicants and the others old friends of Fang. A pity, really. The male-virtue school trains men to be qualified partners and teachers, with courses designed to resist stereotypes of gender, resist chauvinism, and childcare. The classes finished without a hitch, but Fang said he didn’t think classes would continue.

AHAIR AWAY F ROM ARREST

It is not the first time the airport authorities have caught someone carrying prohibited items on a flight. But security staff at Kunming airport in Yunnan Province were flummoxed when they found a woman trying to sneak a fruit knife through a checkpoint by concealing it in her hair and claiming it was mere a hairpin. According to one security worker, the unidentified woman from Nanning, Guangxi Province, bought the knife in Yunnan when she was snacking on some fruit and wanted to take it home. An airport security staff member quickly spotted the knife handle sticking out of her hairdo and confiscated it. It is unclear whether the woman has been charged. - SUN JlAHUl 〔孙佳慧〕

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