My Pet
2014-08-22
【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 初中部 收
本期点评名师
易艳华 女,毕业于湖南科技大学,英语教学十五年,中学一级教师,主导双语教学,系骨干教师和学科带头人,主持湖南省永州市教改课题《中学生英语故事阅读与写作技能开发研究》,已有多篇论文在省级期刊上发表并获奖,并辅导学生多次获大奖。现任教于湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校。
My Pet
Do you have a pet? What kind of pet do you like?
I like cat. My mother bought a small cat for me. It is very lovely. Her eyes are big and she is quiet. When I do my homework, she always sits on the table. She likes eating fish. Sometimes I feed her fish, and sometimes I feed her rice. And she never cry①. One day, when I was doing my homework, my pet looked at me.
“Hello, what are you doing, Tina?” asked Kitty. Kitty is my cats name and Tina is my English name.
“I am doing my homework,” I answered her. “Are you hungry now?”
“Yes, I want to eat a piece of fish,” said Kitty.
“I am sorry. Today I can not give you a piece of fish,”
“Why? You know, I like eating fish, dont you?” Kitty looked at me quiet②.
“Because I dont have some③ fish now. Could you have fish tomorrow?” I asked her.
“OK. Thank you!” said kitty.
湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校七(61)班 朱雄志
1. 优点:
这是一篇相当不错的故事小作文。小作者描写了自己的宠物猫,童话般的语言让人感到非常亲切,写出了小作者和宠物猫Kitty之间深厚的感情。人与猫的对话是作文的亮点,难能可贵。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①cry改为cries。主语是第三人称单数,在一般现在时态里,动词要用相应的第三人称单数形式。
②quiet改为quietly。quiet是形容词,形容词不能修饰动词look,需要把形容词变为副词来修饰动词,需要在quiet后加ly变为副词quietly。
③some改为any。原句为否定句。some用于肯定句,any用于否定句。
3. 评分:
按湖南省永州市中考英语作文满分10分的评分标准,本文修改前可得9分。