松哥同你聊写作

各位同学，好！

写作在广东高考英语试卷中占40分，比重很大，也是同们学拉分的重点题型。从这期开始，同各位聊聊写作。下面就以2012年高考广东卷读写任务题为例，分析如何写，才可以得高分。

阅读下面短文，然后按要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。

My husband received a letter a month ago from a young woman who had been his student when she was in middle school. She wrote thanking him for having a great influence in her life.

In the letter she wrote，“You were the teacher who helped me discover my talent for math. Before you came to teach us， I had been terribly poor at math， and had never thought that I would be interested in it. To my surprise， you magically showed me the beauty of math. I guess that was the turning point of my attitude towards it. Gradually my interest in it began to grow. Thanks to your encouragement， I made continuous progress in math， and finally made up my mind to study it in the university. Today I am working as an accountant at Valley Medical Center in California. You played an important part. Thank you！”

What a wonderful gift to a retired teacher！ My husband has received many letters from students over the years. This one was special， for it arrived at this time in his life when he is in very poor health.

[写作内容]

1. 以约30个词概括上文的主要内容。

2. 以约120个词就老师影响考生的话题谈谈你的想法，内容包括：

（1）上文使你想起哪位对你帮助最大的老师；

（2）举例说明该老师对你学习或成长的影响；

（3）你怎样看待老师对考生的影响。

[写作要求]

1. 作文中可以使用自己的亲身经历或虚构的故事，也可以参照阅读材料的内容但不得直接引用原文中的句子；

2. 作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。

[评分标准]

概括准确，语言规范，内容合适，语篇连贯。

解题过程分析

任务1，概括主要内容。

此任务考查考生的三大能力： 阅读 、 归纳、 写作。

第一步，阅读语段。

该段落都是简单的阅读段落，一个基础扎实的考生是应该能读懂题目的。如果题目没有读懂，松哥只能说，不好意思，请先学习高考考纲词汇，词汇背熟了再来听我的解析啦。

第二步，归纳要点。

读懂后，显然，阅读材料的主要信息有三：1.作者的老公收到了信件；2.表达对作者老公的感激；3.作者很感动。

第三步， 组合语言。

用大约30个词。既然是大约，那么就不能太多或者太少，以25～35个为宜。好的，下面我们一起来组合语言。

第一句：作者的老公收到了信件。 这个信息的主要短语是 receive a letter，注意时间是一个月前，所以必须是过去式。The authors husband received a letter a month ago.

第二句：表达感激。考生可以写express thanks， 当然词汇量大的同学可以show这个表达：express ones gratitude

第三句：作者很感动。感动怎么说？be moved 或者 get moved。

接下来，把整个信息组合成一个句子。大意是：一个月前，作者老公收到了一封邮件，是一个学生对他的感激之情。作者很感动。

各位，这个句子的写法我建议从实际出发，基础好的同学可以写从句。基础薄弱的同学建议用简单句。

单句的写法：

The authors husband received a letter a month ago. In the letter， the student expressed her thanks to him for encouraging her to study maths. The author was moved. （30 words）

复杂句子的写法：

The authors husband received a letter a month ago，in which the student expressed gratitude for motivating her to study maths and therefore， the author got moved. （28 words）endprint

对比一下，哪个更好？显然是复杂句，一个句子只有28个词，内容全部覆盖，句子紧凑明了。在这个句子里面，含有一个由“介词+关系代词”引导的非限制定语从句，还有一个由and therefore 连接的并列句。词汇层面，gratitude， motivate（激励）都展示了不俗的写作实力。开门出亮点，抓住了阅卷老师的眼球。

那么，如何才能让自己练成写作天山童姥呢？那么，你要认真地去听松哥之后的句子大法了，我们稍后分析。

OK， 任务1搞定之后，我们来看任务2。

任务2，谈谈你的看法。

做题思路：

1. 解题找要点；

2. 词汇移花再接木；

3. 亮句串成队。

第一步，找要点。

任务2 共有三个要点，题中已非常清楚：1. 想起一个老师；2. 对自己的影响；3. 我的看法。

第二步，考虑用词。

要点（1），各位请思考，“使我想起一个老师”怎么写？

小A同学不假思索地说：make me think of a teacher，不错，但是不够亮。

小B同学自信地说：remind me of a teacher，很好！掌声！

如果是松哥，会写什么呢？The passage naturally associates me with a teacher who...

你们可能会问，为什么我能想到这个表达呢？其实，如果你能耐心地听我下文解析词汇大法，你也行。只要你能耐心地跟着我的思路走，读完我的作品，相信，你也可以成为写作大师。

要点（2），对自己的影响。这一段需要论证，如何论证，先写一个中心句，这个老师对我的影响很大。“对我影响很大”怎么写？have a great influence/effect on me这个短语属于常见词组，教大家一个经典表达：be of enormous significance to sb.

要点（3），我的看法？这一段属于思维层面，需要考生想出相关细节来证明老师对孩子的影响。思考，我认为怎么表达？As far as I am concerned， 有些同学异口同声地说出这个词组，其实这个词组是一个很口语化的表达，建议不要使用。松哥教给大家一个很cool的表达，on a personal level 记住哟，这个短语可是抓老师眼球的表达，一般人我不告诉他。哈，开个玩笑。

第三步，写句成文。

好了，词汇我们想好了，下一步，组合句子。松哥下面贴出一篇原创的文章供大家分享。

The passage above associates me with a person， who was my middle school English teacher and selflessly devoted all her life to teaching.

The teacher was of enormous significance to my life in various respects. What is worth mentioning first is that she surely knew how to overcome the barrier in my studies although I， at the essential turning point of my life， was disgusted with my school lives. Unlike other teachers， she never refused to help those with poor academic performances who were in greater need.

On a personal level， it goes without saying that teachers are the touchstone of students. They play a crucial part in students growth by providing knowledge and instilling high morals， as well as acting as emotional role models. （125 words）

行文思路分析

上文是松哥一篇拙作，仅供大家参考。现在简单解析一下行文思路。

词汇层面：

大家一定发现了很多精彩的表达，比如：associate me with a person， selflessly devoted all her life to teaching， be of enormous significance to， in various respects， overcome the barrier in my studies， at the essential turning point of my life， be disgusted with， on a personal level， play a crucial part in， instill high morals等。

有的同学说，这些啊，太难呢，我学不会啊。我怎么知道考试可以用这些表达呢？没关系，你缺的是一个有能帮你整理的老师，松哥很愿意为你做这些事情。听完我下期连载，你一定不会有这方面的顾虑了哦。

句法方面：

定语从句：The passage above associated me with a person， who was my middle school English teacher and selflessly devoted all her life to teaching.endprint

主语从句与插入语：What is worth mentioning first is that she surely knew how to overcome the barrier in my studies although I， at the essential turning point of my life， was disgusted with my school lives.

形式主语从句：It goes without saying that teachers are the touchstone of students.

简单平衡句：They play a crucial part in studentsgrowth by providing knowledge and instilling high morals， as well as acting as emotional role models.

再加上个性生动的简单句，你看，一篇错落有致的高考作文就这样出现了。有那么难吗？

难死啦，有些同学说，为什么难？是因为你根本没有针对地培养过句子素养？句法问题我打算连载几篇文章，只要你把我的练习做完，学不好，你来找我。不怕难，就怕你的复习没有系统。

思维方面：

对个人的影响，我想到了曾几何时，我是个厌学的考生，我的老师感染了我。

how to overcome the barrier in my studies although I， at the essential turning point of my life， was disgusted with my school lives. Unlike other teachers， she never refused to help those with poor academic performances who were in greater need.

对于众人的影响，我想到了传到授业解惑，当然，也有精神层面的，什么时代了，老师不但是教书，还要是心理医生。

They play a crucial part in studentsgrowth by providing knowledge and instilling high morals， as well as acting as emotional role models.

有些人说，松哥，你怎么可以想这么多啊？为什么呢？等到思维层面，我们再细说啦。

好了，以上就是我对这篇文章的解析，大家看到了写好一篇作文，需要个性的词汇，出彩的句法，以及丰富的思想。希望能帮到大家。

谢谢！

新东方大学外语部 丁雪松

责任编校 蒋小青endprint