Before You Can Pick Your Own Nose写给我的亲亲宝贝

Dear Son，

Im writing to you when you are at the tender age of just 37 days old in order to take the time to reflect on who you are and to be grateful for it.

You see， your dad and I realize that at this very moment in time， you are 100% dependent on us. We knew of this great responsibility once we found out we were pregnant with you.

You need us to provide you food， shelter， warmth and all your basic needs to help you grow. You havent been potty1） trained yet， so your diapers are our responsibility. You rely on us for everything， but you cry and sleep and poop on your own. You even rely on us to pick your nose， which we still havent figured out how to do.

And one day， it has occurred to me， you wont need us for anything at all.

I have read so many mommy articles lately about the hardship of motherhood， with the attendant2） rah-rah3） over how many sacrifices moms make. And while I absolutely agree that motherhood has its challenges， I want to also appreciate the beautiful things about motherhood， because there truly are so many things that only you and I experience together. Your growth so far has made me realize so much about myself and about your evolution from our baby to one day， a self-sufficient young man.

At some point in time， the things that can drive a new mom crazy will fade. So， for now， I will stop and find the beauty and joy in the smallest things you do.

You cry and wail at the top of your lungs4）. I choose to be grateful that you are 100% healthy. Your lungs are functioning and until you can communicate with words， crying is the only way to let us know that you are displeased with something. And son， we hear you loud and clear. When you were born， you let out a cry that struck a chord5） in the hearts of both your father and me. And even though you cry mysteriously from time to time， your pitch and tone will forever be recorded in my memory.

My hope is that as you grow up， your cries are reserved for happy moments instead of tragic ones. I cant even imagine yet how gut-wrenching6） it will feel for me when you start experiencing pain that elicits7） tears. And since you have no spoken words yet， I am cherishing these days before you can say the word “no，” but look forward to when you can tell me about your highest highs and lowest lows. So for now， I am reminded by your cries that you need something from me.

And son， I have a request for you since your mom is a health care provider： please keep your lungs free of nicotine.

You let me smother you with kisses. Little do you know it， but we give you about 1，000 kisses a day. More or less. As I had posted on my Facebook this week about how you just smiled at your dad and I a few mornings ago， my friend Adam said it best. To paraphrase him， theres a circle of life that happens when a child smiles at their parents. Youll enjoy us for the next 8 to 10 years， then not be as enthused to see us for another 8 to 10 years， and then youll be back to being happy to see us with a vengeance8）.

I realize that the days of 1，000 kisses will fade from coming from your parents and be replaced by a lover one day. May you choose wisely. Very， very wisely my dear son.

You are comforted most in my arms. As I have chosen to exclusively breastfeed you， you and I share a lot of intimate time together. Easily we share eight to ten times a day where it is just you and I， literally connected. Yes， there have been sleepless nights， but I know those days are limited. In the coming months and years， youll grow heavier to where I wont physically be able to hold you in my arms and lay you in my lap. So I am choosing to cherish this finite time with you.

As you grow up， youll be comforted by other people， no doubt. Outside of your parents， youll be comforted by friends， family and romantic partners （again choose wisely）. My hope is that you always know that you can always find comfort in me.

You piss and poop a dozen times a day. All I can say to this is that you are a healthy boy！ There will come a day soon when Ill stop inspecting all your orifices9） and feeling like a champion for each day that you havent had a diaper rash10）. As a little boy， youll be more obsessed with poop， farts and gas throughout the years and Ill be less interested in them I am sure. As for now， I am obsessed as making sure you burp11） after feeds and go through enough wet and dirty diapers so that we know you are hydrated and gaining weight. I am choosing to be grateful that through diapers， we can ensure you are thriving.

We hold hands every day. You have the tightest little grip for such a small baby. I am grateful that you have reflexes and you are building up your small motor skills.

Your hands will allow you to express so many things. Youll use your hands to write. I wish you to use your written words as kind and well-thought-out as your spoken words.

Youll use your hands for play. We hope you use your hands to nurture others as well. Youll use your hands to also comfort others， as we have often comforted you. Therell be those years where you will drop my hand as soon as you see your friends very soon. I am holding on to your hand as much as I can， for now.

Its my hope that as a new mom， we have moments of gratitude in the midst of figuring this whole thing out. I am not saying that these past 37 days have been a breeze but I will say without a doubt， you have made my life richer and have given me a sense to prioritize whats important in life and avoid the minutiae12）. With you in my life， to be away from you for just a minute， must be worth it. That being said， there really arent that many compelling reasons for me to put forth the effort. As much as I can joke about motherhood， I love it so much. However， when I am away from you， I just make sure its worth it. Thank you for teaching me to streamline my life and focus on what matters the most.

What I am most grateful for is that you arrived outside of my womb safe and sound. I know that other friends of ours are having difficulty conceiving their baby， or are also having complicated pregnancies. I know that it is easy to focus on how hard motherhood is but I hope to be mindful that even on the toughest days， when your lungs are functioning VERY WELL， Ill remember that you have come into our lives. And that you will one day， not rely on us for anything， but choose to anyway.

With my love，

Mom

心爱的儿子：

你是个小宝宝，出生才37天。现在我写信给你，是想花点时间仔细想想你是谁，并表达我对此的感激。

瞧，我和你爸爸意识到，此时此刻的你百分之百地依赖我们。在我们发现怀上你的那一刻，我们就知道自己担负着这一重任。

你需要我们为你提供食、住、暖等所有基本生活需求来帮助你成长。你还没学会自己上厕所，所以我们要担当起为你换尿片的责任。你除了会自己哭闹、睡觉和拉便便，其他一切都依靠我们。你甚至需要我们为你掏鼻孔，这一点我们目前还是手足无措。

我突然想到，有一天你将完全不需要我们为你做任何事了。

最近我读了许多讲述妈妈育儿艰辛的文章，这些文章都赞颂妈妈们做出了多少牺牲。我完全赞同做母亲要接受种种考验的说法，但是我也想感激做母亲带来的许多美好，因为的确有太多的事情是只有你我二人一起经历的。截至目前，你的成长让我对自己有了许多的认识，也让我更多地意识到你是如何从我们的小宝宝一步步成长，直到某一天长成一个自立青年的。

某时某刻，那些让新妈妈抓狂的事情会逐渐消失。因此，现在我会停下来，去发现你细微的一举一动所带来的美好和欢乐。

你撕心裂肺地嚎啕大哭，我选择为你百分百的健康而心存感激。你的肺功能正常，在你学会用语言交流之前，哭是你告诉我们你对某些事不满的唯一方式。儿子，你的哭声我们听得一清二楚。你出生时的第一声啼哭让我和你父亲的心弦为之颤动。就算你时不时莫名其妙地哭闹，但你哭闹的腔调将永远铭刻在我的记忆中。

我希望，随着你渐渐长大，你的眼泪都留给欢快的时刻，而不是痛苦的时刻。我甚至无法想象，如果你开始经历让你流泪的痛苦，那会让我多么心痛。你还不会说话，所以我会珍惜你还不会开口说“不”的日子，但我期盼你能开口告诉我你情绪的最高潮与最低谷的那一天。而现在，你的一声声啼哭在提醒我，你需要我为你做点什么。

儿子，妈妈是一位医疗工作者，因此我对你有一个要求：请让你的肺脏远离尼古丁的侵蚀。

你让我对你亲不够。你不知道，我们每天都会亲吻你大约一千次。或多或少。本周我在自己的Facebook上贴出了几天前你冲我和爸爸微笑的照片。对此我的朋友亚当说得太好了。他的大意是，孩子对父母微笑时，生活的循环便开始了。在接下来的十年八年里，你会开心地和我们在一起；再有十年八年，你会不那么乐意看到我们；然后你又会回到见到我们极度开心的状态。

我知道父母每天亲吻你一千次的日子会一去不返，某天取而代之的是你爱人的亲吻。但愿你在选爱人时做出明智的选择。千万千万要选对人，我亲爱的儿子。

我的臂弯能给你带来最大的安慰。由于我选择纯母乳喂养，因此我们共度了许多亲密的时光。一天当中，我们轻易就有八到十次独处的机会，只有你我两人，真正地母子相连。的确，我有过许多不眠之夜，但是我知道那样的日子是有限的。在接下来的岁月里，你会变得越来越重，重到我体力不支，无法再用双臂抱你，无法再把你放到我的腿上。所以，我选择珍惜和你亲密相处的这些有限时光。

随着你渐渐长大，毫无疑问，你会得到他人的安慰。除了父母，你会得到亲朋好友和伴侣的安慰（再说一次，要明智选择）。我希望你始终明白，你永远可以在我这里找到安慰。

你一天要尿尿、拉便便十几次，对此我只能说你是个健康的男孩儿！有一天我将不再检查你的小屁股，不再在你没有尿布疹的每个日子都像拿了冠军一样开心——那一天很快就会到来。作为一个小男孩，在以后的几年里，你拉的便便、放的臭屁和打的嗝会越来越多，而我敢肯定我对它们的兴趣会越来越少。现在，我满脑子想的都是确保喂奶后你能打嗝，并把该尿湿拉脏的尿布全都尿湿拉脏——这样我们就知道你不缺水分，体重在增加。通过这些尿布，我们能确保你在茁壮成长，对此我选择心存感激。

我们每天都会牵手。对你这么小的婴儿来说，你的小手攥得可真紧。这让我感到欣慰，因为你有条件反射，你在锻炼自己小小的肌肉运动技能。

你将可以用你的双手表达许多东西。你会用自己的双手写作。我希望你写下的东西充满善意和深思熟虑，希望你口中说出的话也是如此。

你会用自己的双手去玩耍。我们希望你也用自己的双手去扶持他人。你还会用你的双手去安慰别人，就像我们经常安慰你一样。在未来的某些年里，你一看到你的朋友们就会甩开我的手，那样的日子很快就会到来。所以此时此刻，我正尽可能多地牵牵你的手。

作为新妈妈，我希望我们在摸索如何解决这一切问题的过程中时常怀有感激之情。我并不是说过去的这37天很轻松，但是我要确定无疑地说，你让我的生活更加丰富，让我明白了要把生活中重要的事放在首位，忽略那些细枝末节。有你在我生命中，离开你的每一分钟都必须值得我那么做。话虽如此，但真的没有多少理由说服我付出那样的努力。虽然我可以调侃母亲这个身份，但我同样如此热爱这个身份。然而，当我不在你身边时，我会确保所做的事情是值得的。谢谢你教会我如何安排自己的生活，教会我把精力放在最重要的事情上。

我最感激的是你从我的肚子里平平安安地生了出来。我知道有些朋友很难怀上宝宝，或是还有着曲折艰辛的怀孕过程。我知道人们很容易把关注点放在做母亲的艰难上，但是我希望自己记着一件事：即使在最辛苦的日子里——那些你嚎啕大哭的日子里——我也会牢记你来到了我们的生命里。我会牢记，有一天你将不再依赖我们做任何事，但仍会选择依恋我们。

爱你的妈妈

1. potty [?p?ti] n. （小孩用的）便盆；尿壶

2. attendant [??tend?nt] adj. 伴随的；随之而来的

3. rah-rah [?rɑ??rɑ?] n. 欢呼声，叫好声，喝彩声

4. at the top of ones lungs：声嘶力竭地；用尽量大的声音

5. strike a chord：引起共鸣；触动心弦

6. gut-wrenching [?ɡ?t?rent???] adj. 带来精神痛苦的

7. elicit [??l?s?t] vt. 引起；引出

8. with a vengeance：极度地，彻底地

9. orifice [??r?f?s] n. （尤指身体上的）孔，口

10. diaper rash：[医]尿布疹

11. burp [b??（r）p] vi. 打嗝

12. minutiae [ma??nju??ii?] n. [复]细枝末节；琐事