童心永驻_参考网

童心永驻

2013-12-09

阅读与作文（英语初中版） 2013年12期

I remember the day my best friend in sixth grade got a fake， removable gold cap for her tooth， the better to1 emulate2 the rappers3 we loved at the time. I couldnt believe her parents would buy it for her and let her wear it—it seemed so cool， and so grown-up. Plus， I knew she had to go into the city to get it， which added to its aura4 of sophisticated5 danger. I， meanwhile， was still watching cartoons on TV， and crocheting6 and knitting clothes for my dolls.

Soon I noticed that my friend was starting to hang out7 with different people， and that she wasnt coming over as often after school to play kickball8 in my backyard. I now know that trying on new friends is just a natural part of growing up， but at the time I felt abandoned. Now that she was ready to be older， my friend was leaving me behind in Babyland. I felt like I was deficient9 in some way： abnormal， immature， childish.

By ninth grade most of the girls in my class had cast aside their Barbies and sticker books in favor of high heels and lots of makeup， which made me nervous. I wasnt ready for that kind of self-sexualization—I would rather stay home and paint or watch E.T. for the hundredth time than go to a dance or hang out in the park to look at the cute boys I would see the next day in school anyway. There were a lot of things I looked forward to about being a teenager and then an adult—staying out as late as I wanted， eating ice cream any time of day or night—but I wasnt ready to give up all the things I loved about being a kid.

And I was convinced I would have to give them up. You know how people say you should enjoy what you have now while youre alive， because you cant take it with you to the grave？ Thats how I felt about the transition10 from childhood to adulthood： you had to leave your childish things behind. The dividing line between the two stages of life seemed solid and inflexible11， and the passage through it strictly one-way—once youd crossed it there was no turning back.

In my family， crossing that threshold12 meant taking on a whole list of new responsibilities. While as a kid I earned my mall money by sharing after-dinner dishwashing duty with my brother， once I became a teenager Id have to do laundry for the entire family all by myself. Id have to pay for more of my own stuff， too， which meant Id have to get a job， and that wouldnt really leave me any time for knitting or doodling13 or yet another E.T. screening.

Heres another thing： growing up， I never saw any of the adults in my life having fun. They all seemed super serious all the time， and super tired—at the time I assumed it was from working all day at jobs they didnt seem to like very much and then coming home to houses and apartments that needed to be maintained， which would have been more than enough， but I didnt factor14 in the time they spent raising and tending to me and driving me around to all of my million after-school activities. But no matter what the reason is， the image they gave me of grown-up life was dire15， stressed out， exhausted， and bleak16.

I was terrified of growing up and becoming like them， and losing all of the simple joys of youth； but I was also afraid of being left behind， and missing out on all of the pleasures and freedoms that the adult world had in store. And I got stuck there， with this impossible choice.

Then came “Todd Time”. Ive written before about my love of the designer Todd Oldham， who ignited17 in me a lifelong love of making clothes （I even studied fashion design in college， hoping to become him one day）. I first saw him on the first iteration18 of House of Style on MTV in the early 1990s. He had his own segment （the aforementioned19 “Todd Time”） wherein he would teach everyone how to dye our hair cherry red， or how to score20 at a thrift store21. On the episode I happened upon， he was reupholstering22 a chair from the flea market using some bright fabric， a glue gun， and some safety pins. This blew my mind23. I loved the flea market！I loved making stuff out of other old stuff！ And this guy—this Grown Man—was doing this for a living？ It was so cool to see an adult with a job he didnt hate—a job that， in fact， involved doing the very things that I loved—and he was obviously having fun while he did it. Believe it or not， this was the first hint24 I got that adulthood didnt mark the end of fun forever.

After that revelation25， I started paying closer attention to the adults around me， and I noticed that they didnt all look like the responsibilities of life and work had put them through the wringer26. Some of them， like my eighth grade art teacher， had jobs that seemed fun， and that they seemed to enjoy. It began to dawn on me that there was more than one way to be an adult， and that not all of them involved giving up your childhood hobbies. It turned out that there wasnt actually a hard line between childhood and adulthood： you can keep the parts of being a child that nourish and comfort you， that make you feel like yourself and help you become the person you want to be.

Once I figured this out， adulthood didnt seem so scary anymore. I got a job， bought a car， went away to college， dropped out， dropped back in， and eventually became an Official Old， with a job and a husband and a house and everything. But I never stopped doing the things I liked， and many of those“childish” hobbies turned into skills that have been invaluable in my adult life： I still do all that crafty27 stuff， and all that time spent noodling around28 by myself while the other kids were sweating it out at school dances taught me how to be happy being alone， which so many people dont know how to do， and which has been incredibly useful to me. I now see these proclivities29， which were so often dismissed30 as “childish” by my classmates， as ways to keep myself connected to the part of myself that can still feel wonder， and thats willing to be entertained by simple things that make me happy—the childlike part of me.

我记得那一天，我那正在上六年级的挚友在牙齿上套了一颗可拆卸的金色假牙牙冠，这样她就能模仿我们当时都非常喜欢的那些饶舌歌手。我简直不能相信她的爸爸妈妈竟然会给她买这个，而且还让她戴着——她看上去酷毙了，显得特别成熟。而且，我知道她必须得进城才能配到那颗牙冠，这更让它散发出一种老于世故的危险气息。而那时的我却还在看电视上播出的动画片，给我的玩具娃娃织毛衣。

很快我就注意到，我的这位挚友开始和不同的人出去玩了，不再像以前那样经常在放学后来我家后院踢球玩。我现在知道，尝试结交新朋友是成长过程中很自然的一部分，但在那时我却有一种被抛弃的感觉。因为我的好朋友已准备好要长大，她把我丢在娃娃国里，逐渐离我远去。我觉得自己从某种意义上来说有缺陷：不正常、不成熟，还有些幼稚。

到了九年级，我们班的大部分女生都把芭比娃娃和贴纸书丢在了一边，而高跟鞋和各式各样的化妆品成了她们的新宠，这种变化令我很不安。我还没有准备好走那种“性感”路线呢——我宁愿窝在家里画画或者看第一百遍《外星人E.T.》，也不愿意去参加舞会，或者为了去看那几个反正第二天上学也会看见的漂亮男生而特意跑去公园里瞎溜达。当然，关于长大成为少年然后成为成年人也有很多事令我十分期待——我可以想多晚回家就多晚回家，想什么时候吃冰激凌就什么时候吃，管它是白天还是晚上。但我还是不愿意为此放弃我童年所爱的一切。

那时的我深信，我将来必须得放弃我童年的这一切。你知道吗？人们总说你要活在当下、珍惜眼前，因为你没法把一切都带进坟墓里。在我眼里，从童年到成年的转变就是这样：你必须放弃所有那些幼稚的玩意儿。这两个人生阶段之间的分界线看起来不可动摇，要穿越这条分界线就只有一条路，而且是一条单行道，一旦过去，便无法回头。

在我的家里，跨过这条分界线就意味着要承担一长串的新责任。作为一个小孩子，我可以靠晚饭后和哥哥一起洗碗挣自己的零花钱，可一旦长成十几岁的大姑娘，我就得一个人负责洗全家人的衣服。如果我想给自己买东西，更多的时候也要自己掏钱，这就意味着我得找份工作，那我就真的没什么时间去织毛衣、胡乱涂鸦或是再看一遍《外星人E.T.》了。

还有一个原因：我长这么大，从未见过身边的大人们有哪一个过得很开心。他们似乎一天到晚都是一副超级严肃的表情，而且看上去很累的样子。当时我以为这是因为他们一整天都在做那些他们似乎不太喜欢的工作，回到家还得做家务、收拾屋子——这些本就已经够他们受的了。而我当时还没有算上他们为抚养我、照顾我、开车带我去参加数不清的课外活动而花费的那些时间。但不管原因何在，他们给我留下的印象让我认定成年人的生活很可怕，压力重重、精疲力竭、暗淡无光。

我害怕长大，害怕成为他们那样的人，害怕失去所有那些童年才有的简单的快乐；但我也害怕被甩在后面，错过所有那些进入成人世界才能享受到的惬意与自由。面对这样的选择，我进退两难。

这时，“托德时间”走进了我的生活。我以前写过，我很喜欢一个名叫托德·奥海姆的设计师，受他的影响，自己动手做衣服成了我终身的爱好（我甚至在大学选择了时装设计专业，希望自己有朝一日能成为像他那样的设计师）。我头一次看到他，是在20世纪90年代初看MTV电视台“时尚之屋”节目的第一次重播时。该节目中有一个专属于他的环节（就是前面提到的“托德时间”），他会在这个环节中教大家如何将头发染成樱桃红，或者如何在廉价旧货店中成功淘到宝贝。在我碰巧看到的那期节目里，他正在摆弄一张从跳蚤市场里买来的椅子，用一些色彩鲜亮的布料、一把喷胶枪和一些安全别针给它 “改头换面”。这一幕让我激动不已。跳蚤市场是我的最爱！旧物改造也是我的最爱！而这个家伙——这个大人——正在以此为生？我终于看到一个不讨厌自己的工作并且明显乐在其中的成年人，而且这份工作的工作内容事实上正好包含了我最喜欢做的那些事，这感觉太棒了！信不信由你，因为这件事我才第一次了解到，原来长大成人并不意味着快乐生活的永久终结。

有了这一惊人发现之后，我开始更密切地关注我身边的那些成年人，我注意到他们不全都是一副为生活所累、为工作所烦扰的模样。他们中有些人（比如我八年级时的美术老师）就做着一些似乎非常有趣的工作，而且他们看上去也非常喜欢自己的工作。于是我开始渐渐明白，成长不止一种模式，并不是所有的成长都意味着要放弃你童年时的爱好。事实证明，童年和成年之间实际上并没有一条不可动摇的界线：你可以保留童年生活中滋养和慰藉你的东西，那些让你找回自我、帮助你成为你想要成为的人的东西。

一旦我明白了这一点，长大成人看上去便不再那么可怕了。我找了一份工作，买了一辆车，离家去上了大学，中途辍学，然后复学，最后成了一个“正式的成年人”，有了工作、爱人、房子等一切。但是，我从没放弃过做我喜欢的事，其中许多“幼稚”的爱好还变成了技能，成为我成年生活中的“无价之宝”：我还在做那些手工活儿，小的时候其他孩子在学校舞会挥汗如雨而我却独自摆弄小玩意儿的经历教会了我怎样自得其乐、享受独处。这一点很多人至今仍不知该如何做到，我却已经从中获益良多。尽管在过去，我的同学们因认为这些癖好太过“幼稚”而常常将其摒弃，但如今在我看来，正是因为这些爱好，我才能够时时保持仍旧能感受奇妙、情愿为生活中的简单快乐而开颜的那部分自我——那颗童心。

·单词卡片

1. the better to （do sth.）：为了，以便

2. emulate vt. 仿效，模仿

3. rapper n. 说唱乐手

4. aura n. 气味，气息

5. sophisticated adj. 老练的；失去天真的

6. crochet vt. 用钩针编织

7. hang out： <口>闲荡；厮混

8. kickball n. <美> 儿童足球游戏

9. deficient adj. 不够好的，有缺陷的

10. transition n. 过渡，过渡时期；转变

11. inflexible adj. 不可改变的；不可动摇的