书面表达训练、指导与评判

郝鹏程

目前不少中学生喜欢穿名牌衣服，有些还在同学面前炫耀，对此不同的人有不同的观点。阅读下表内容，写一篇文章介绍这些观点，并发表自己的看法。

字数：120左右。

指导：这是一篇现象评论文，写作时应注意下列几点：

1.正确把握写作时态

现象评论文是对现阶段存在的社会现象所做的评价，因此无论是介绍支持性观点还是反对性观点，还是发表自己的观点，均应用一般现在时。同学们应熟悉这一时态规律，把一般现在时的时态落实到每一个句子的每一个动词中去，以提高语言的准确性。

2.熟悉常识性语句

现象评论文有不少语言是有规律出现的，如文章开头过渡下文时可使用Recently our class has held a heated discussion on whether we should…。Different students have different opinions about it。描绘一部分人的不同观点时可用Some think that…, Some believe that…, Some hold the view that…。描绘不同观点时可用Some dont think so。描绘自己观点时可用 I think that…, We can…but we should…。

3.正确使用过渡词汇

现象评论文过渡词汇的使用非常有特点。列举支持性观点可用besides, whats more；列举反对性观点可用whats worse, to make the matter worse, whats worst；介绍自己观点可用in my opinion, in the opinion of me, in the eyes of me；由支持性观点向反对性观点过渡时可用however。无论是列举支持性观点、反对性观点还是自己观点均可使用at the same time, (in the) meanwhile, also, still等过渡词汇。

评判：

习作展示：

Now, many students like to wear famous clothes, and some even show off their clothes. Different students have different opinions about it.

Some think every one① likes beauty, so those wear② famous clothes can better show their personal appearance and character. Whats more, famous clothes are usually with③ high quality, and last longer.

However, some think famous clothes are usually expensive, so wearing such a④ clothes can give the parents a heavy burden. Whats worse, wearing such clothes can cause students to compete for better clothes, contributing to the forming of bad social custom⑤.

In my opinion, there are many ways to show our personal character, so we neednt show it by wearing famous clothes. Meanwhile, students dont earn money and shouldnt spend too many ⑥ money on famous clothes. Saving is a good virtue but wearing famous clothes is surely against it.

修改说明：①这里指每一个人，every one应改为everyone。②此处作定语而不作谓语，wear应改为wearing。③此处表示具有，with应改为of，构成be of+抽象名词句型。④clothes前面不可用不定冠词修饰，应去掉a。 ⑤custom为可数名词，此处应用复数形式,custom应改为customs。⑥money为不可数名词，many应改为much。

精彩提炼：

参考答案：

Now, many students like to wear famous clothes, and some even show off their clothes. Different students have different opinions about it.

Some think everyone likes beauty, so those wearing famous clothes can better show their personal appearance and character. What's more, famous clothes are usually of high quality, and last longer.

However, some think famous clothes are usually expensive, so wearing such clothes can give the parents a heavy burden. What's worse, wearing such clothes can cause students to compete for better clothes, contributing to the forming of bad social customs.

In my opinion, there are many ways to show our personal character, so we needn't show it by wearing famous clothes. Meanwhile, students don't earn money and shouldn't spend too much money on famous clothes. Saving is a good virtue but wearing famous clothes is surely against it.