基于云平台的高中英语读后续写可视化写 作策略研究

吕少曼

《教育部2022年工作要点》提出“实施教育数字化战略行动”。为了落实立德树人的根本任务，促进学生核心素养发展的具体目标，在教育信息化20背景下，教育数字化转型赋能课堂教学改革，广东省佛山市南海区积极推进基于智能教学平台的云平台“深度课堂”实验项目，旨在培养学生的数字思维和深度学习能力。云平台智慧教学融合互联网与先进信息技术，谋求在英语教学与信息技术整合实际效果方面发挥正向支持提升作用。

自2021年广东使用新高考英语全国I卷以来，25分的读后续写新题型对考生来说极具挑战。本研究在学科育人背景下，积极响应国家“双减”的号召，以2022年新高考全国I卷读后续写为例，进行基于云平台的高中英语读后續写可视化教学策略研究，以期减负增效，落地“双新”“双减”智慧课堂。思维可视化教学策略可以呈现思维结构、路径及方法， 从而实现零散知识系统化、隐性思维显性化、解题规律模型化。在可视化策略的助力下，高中英语读后续写将成为引领学生培养高阶思维的驱动力。

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route（路线）through thick evergreen forest．

I looked around and finally spotted David， who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasnt with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run．

What was wrong？ He had worked so hard for this event！

I quickly searched the crowd for the schools coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him，” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not， and let him decide.”

I bit back my frustration（懊恼）. I knew the coach meant well -- he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted， I turned to find him coming towards me， his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward．

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children， but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer--thats all. David had not missed a single practice， and although he always finished his run long after the other children， he did always finish. As a special education teacher along school， I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination．

注意：1.续写词数应为 150 左右。2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

We sat down next to each other， but David wouldnt look at me._____________

______________________________________________________________________________

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners._____________

______________________________________________________________________________

笔者基于云平台开展高中英语读后续写可视化教学实践。

一、基于云平台的读后续写可视化解题策略

1.划出WHO，提炼大意

读后续写是新高考优化写作试题考查形式的重要举措。体裁上，新高考读后续写多为记叙文。我们可先看所给的两个段首句，带着问题逆向答题。先通过skimming， 即略读，快速浏览全文，边看边划出记叙文的七个要点5W1H1O（简称为“WHO”），即语篇涉及的人物（who）、地点（where）、时间（when）、事件（what）、故事的起因（why）、发展过程（how），以及文章的架构（order）。同时可绘制思维导图梳理信息，提炼故事主干。2022年新高考英语全国Ⅰ卷读后续写语篇主题为自强不息的中华民族精神，故事是关于一位从事特殊教育的老师激励身残志坚的患病男孩David勇敢站上起跑线，与所有同学一起参加越野赛的感人励志故事。下图是某学生基于云平台绘制的“故事要点”思维导图，如：

2.畫故事山，析记叙文

“文似看山不喜平。”记叙文一般包括开端、发展、高潮、回落、结局。故事的主要冲突和矛盾一般发生在原文高潮部分，而故事的回落和结局就是考生要续写的部分。答题时，我们可从所给的两个段首句中锁定人物 David 和I，以及David起身和其他选手一起来到起跑线的关键信息；然后在原文中通过scanning，即跳读，搜索相关信息链并初步构思，推测续写第一段的情节。我们并肩坐下，David低头没有看我。显然David有弃赛的想法，又因为不甘心而难过。该题情境设置贴近实际，我们容易与David产生共鸣，想象他在老师鼓励下重拾信心勇敢参赛，排除万难、坚持不懈完成比赛的场景。某学生绘制的故事山如下：

3.多维衔接，提纲挈领

读后续写要进行多维度衔接，包括与所给段首句的衔接，续写第一段与第二段的衔接，续写段落内容本身的衔接，续写段落与原文在内容逻辑、思维模式及语言风格上的衔接，故事内在意义也要连贯且凸显主题。这些衔接多以隐形衔接为主，比如代词的指代，副词的使用等。我们续写的过程中要注意记叙文的表达方式，情节的推进与完整性。2022新高考英语全国I卷读后续写选取一名残疾学生积极参加跑步比赛的语篇，材料体现了体育融入试题的亮点，旨在引导学生提高运动意识，保持身心健康。续写时可塑造残疾男孩身残志坚、积极参赛，重视运动过程，自强不息的形象。如：

4.精选细节，增强亮点

我们续写时应紧扣主题、精选细节、以简洁细腻的间接引语叙述为主，对白为辅，行文叙述务必详略得当，合理分配主次场景的篇幅。所谓“一切景语皆情语”，故事中越野赛在户外森林中进行，可适当借助环境描写烘托气氛。师生之间的语言描写也是推动情节的重头戏，对话应简短、感情真挚，切忌拖沓的多轮对话导致叙述低效且占用篇幅、容易使续写偏离故事主线。同时，我们可借助动作、神态、情绪，心理及侧面描写，来刻画残疾男孩David在老师鼓励下，从自卑弃赛到自信参赛的可喜变化，弘扬正能量。我们可基于云平台绘制思维导图，分类列举续写需要的词块句式，如：

5.精雕结尾，升华主题

常言道，一篇好文章应包括“凤头，猪肚，豹尾。”好的结尾可以画龙点睛。新高考读后续写多围绕情节的推进展开，开放式结尾是其重要特征。2022年新高考英语全国Ⅰ卷读后续写主要围绕“人与社会”与“人与自我”主题展开，符合新课标中“主题语境”下“人与社会”中所要求的“良好的人际关系与社会交往”以及“人与自我”中所要求的“完善自我”“优秀品行，正确的人生态度”以及“积极的生活态度”。该考题主要体现了德智体美劳中的体育和德育，符合五育并举，深化德智体美劳教育引导的命题思路，以浸润的方式引导学生加强对中华民族优秀传统文化和社会主义核心价值观的认同。该题明线为残疾男孩to run or not的抉择，暗线为自强不息与爱的主题。我们只要围绕主题，采用自然结尾式、以景结情式、哲理式结尾等均可。如：

6.语言协同，赏析模仿

王初明（2014）指出，读后续写中语言的赏析应基于内容要创造，语言要模仿，创造与模仿要紧密结合的原则。要实现读后续写的语言协同，应先赏析和模仿原文的语言表达，在续写时迁移运用。2022年新高考英语全国I卷读后续写文本以一般过去时叙述，句子多为主动语态，在句式上简单句与复合句并用，包括约10个简单句，8个名词性从句，2个定语从句，3个非谓语分词结构，2个状语从句，2个并列句，7个并列谓语，2个长难复合句，1个特殊疑问句，和若干衔接成分。语言风格总体上自然简洁，细腻生动。某学生基于云平台绘制的“语言特点”分析图如下：

二、学生习作点评：基于云平台的读后续写有声思维写作个案

有声思维，是将大脑里进行的思维活动有声化。理想的有声思维，是受试者一刻不停地说出自己在完成特定任务时进出大脑的任何信息。笔者指导学生按可视化策略解答2022新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写，受试甲在云平台智慧课堂环境下，使用平板的思维导图等功能开展读后续写有声思维写作。笔者基于云平台对受试的有声思维写作过程进行观察记录，最后将其整理转写为文字形式，习作如下：

We sat down next to each other， but David wouldnt look at me. He just ducked down his head and couldnt help weeping. It seemed that he was eager to take part in the run. I comforted him softly， “David， if you would like to run， I would firmly support you.” He bit his bottom lip hard， holding his fist tightly. Patting him gently on the shoulder， I said， “People only tease at the ones who give up halfway. Just be yourself， were always with you.” Hearing this， Davids face lit up. He raised his head with strong determination， his eyes sparkling with confidence. We smiled and gave high fives to each other．

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. When the race began， all the runners dashed forward while David soon fell behind. Slow as he was， David kept his own pace all the way， rocking from side to side in his typical style. In the end， the other runners finished the run except David. However， nobody left. Everyone kept cheering for David loudly until he eventually crossed the finishing line. All the classmates hugged him and congratulated him on his victory. Although he was out of breath， the big toothy smile appears on his face again. His hard work paid off. What a meaningful experience！

點评：该文内容健康、主题正面，但表达稍欠地道。我们可鼓励学生进行整本书阅读及群文阅读，并基于云平台思维导图整理笔记，积累词块，学习范文及英文原著中丰富细致的表达，并基于云平台的共享功能分享交流整合学习成果。

三、结语

教育数字化转型是当前教育改革与实践中的热点，也是未来教育创新变革的发展趋势。可视化工具有直观性和推理性等优点，借助流程图和思维导图等思维可视化工具可清晰呈现“读后续写”任务的思维路径。教育部2022年工作要点提出将推进“双减”作为完善德智体美劳人才全面培养，促进学生全面发展的重要方式。减负提质，教师要切实提高课堂教学质量。面向疫后时期课堂教学需要，“智能+”赋能课堂理念变革，而基于云平台的可视化教学策略的合理运用可深化线上线下融合教学，落地“双新”“双减”智慧课堂，促进学生的读后续写深度教学，值得进一步思考探究。

【本文系广东省中小学教师信息技术应用能力提升工程20专项科研课题“基于智能教学平台的高中英语可视化教学策略研究”（课题批准号：TSGCKT2022139）部分成果】

责任编辑 吴昊雷