话题作文解析
2022-12-09陆萌萌
陆萌萌
【经典习作】
一场美丽的相遇是生命的恩赐,是缘分的开始。最美的遇见可以是雨后的彩虹,也可以是陪伴的挚友,抑或是成长的经历,是生命路上赏不完的风景。请以 “遇见” 为话题写一篇英语作文。
要点:1. 你最美的遇见是什么?
2. 你和它的故事是什么?
3. 这场遇见对你的影响是什么?
要求:1. 短文须包含所有提示内容,可适当发挥;
2. 词数80个左右;
3. 文中不得出现真实的姓名和校名。
Meeting
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【试题解读】
本文是一篇记叙文,要求我们以“Meeting”为题目,根据所给的三点提示信息写一篇英语短文,此文需要向读者讲述自己最非凡的遇见。此内容反映的是我们日常生活中“日常活动”这个话题。
写此类话题的作文,首先要注意审题,理解遇见的深刻含义。1. 遇见可以是有形的人,如老师、朋友、陌生人等;也可以是有形的物,如书、文具以及中国传统文化中的剪纸、京剧、书法等。 2. 遇见也可以是无形的,如某一件事、一个微笑、一句鼓励的话语等。审题时可以采用拓展延伸法,即交代清楚你最美的遇见是什么,你们遇见时发生了什么,你和所遇之物之间有怎样的故事;接着是叙述这场遇见对 “你” 或他人有什么意义和影响。通过这样的审题,我们就能明确本文要写“什么内容” 了。
其次,精心筛选素材与确定文体也很重要。就本文而言, “遇见”这个题目最好写成一篇记叙文。以“总—分—总”的形式构思行文结构,通过详细而生动的故事来充分展现人物之间美好的关系,以及特别的感受。当然,也可以通过描写手法来展开此文,通过记叙、描写某种物品或有影响意义的某事,展现出“相遇”的真实价值。
最后,要巧妙设计文章的框架结构,这样会使文章段落分明、层次清晰。
【写作模板】
根据写作内容的需要可采用三段法撰写此类短文。
【习作展示】
During my school days, I have met many people. However, the teacher I respect most in school is Ms Liu①.
Why do I appreciate her?② One of the reasons is that she is like a friend of mine. Once I failed an examination. She was the only teacher that I could discuss my mistakes with, because she was so gentle and kind. Another reason is that she knows how to build my confidence③. Instead of criticism, she always gives me advice and encouragement. She once helped me get through the school speech competition. I became more confident and optimistic than before.
Without doubt, I want to be a person like her, someone who brings warmth and encouragement to others.④
【亮点分析】
①句用并列连词however 表示转折,突出重点,开启本文话题。定语从句“I respect most in school”修饰先行词 “the teacher”,作其定语,表述清晰,强调刘老师给作者留下了难以忘记的印象。
②句运用特殊疑问句来引人注目,开启段落,进入主题。此句句式简洁,表达效果显著。
③句属于高级句式,句子“that she knows how to build my confidence”是表语从句。动词不定式结构“how to build my confidence”的运用,显示出作者比较深的语言功底。
④句中使用了高级词语encouragement, without doubt以及高级句式定语从句“who brings warmth and encouragement to others”,表达精准。这些充分显示了作者具有超强的语言驾驭能力,为文章增添了亮丽的色彩。
【习作点评】
本文条理清晰、语言地道、内容中肯。在写作中,作者巧妙地运用了比较级句型、表语从句、定语从句、宾语从句等高级句式,这些都足以显示作者具有扎实的英语基础知识和靈活运用语言的能力。
【佳作展示】
Meeting
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One possible version:
I met my best friend on the first day when we came to our school.
I didnt know anyone in my class, so I sat on my seat in the classroom quietly. Just then, a boy came to me and sat beside me. He started the conversation between us with a “Hi”and a big smile. His warm voice and smile made me relaxed at once. At that moment, our friendship started. We were close and helped each other. We shared our stories and happiness.
Meeting him was great!
(作者单位:江苏省盐城市鹿鸣路初级中学)