丰富句子，提升输出效果

2022-06-08彭文国

疯狂英语·爱英语 2022年6期

彭文国

文章叙述的最终效果，要体现在语言最基本的单位上。语言最基本的单位是词汇，其次是句子结构。句子结构使用得好，且和词汇相辅相成，才能够很好地渲染故事，增强表现张力，提升表达的效果。从某种层面上讲，词汇只有在合适的句子结构框架下，才能最大限度地发挥其作用，才能提升语言的输出效果。基础的英语表达中，有哪些比较好的句子结构？我们该如何使用这些句子结构呢？

【名师导学】

1. 叙述故事时不宜用过长或复杂的句子，可以用条理清晰的含有從句的复合句，也可以使用非谓语动词、with的复合结构、独立主格结构等，使句子多样化，从而提升文章的表达效果。

2. 在使用特殊句子或结构的时候，注意文章结构要均衡。要长短结合，使得句子有匀称、舒服的节奏感。注意不要堆砌辞藻，也不要滥用句子结构;同时，尽量少用重复的句子结构和词组。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

Jenny was a pretty eight?year?old girl. She had been the pride of her parents before she lost her legs in an accident.

One day when she and her mother were checking out at a grocery store， Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace， by which she was totally defeated. How eagerly she wanted it！ But when she saw the price， her heart sank a little. She gathered up her courage and asked her mother if she would buy it for her. Her mother said， “Well， it is a pretty necklace， but it costs an awful lot of money. I can buy you the necklace， but when we get home， we should make a list of housework that you can do to pay for the necklace.” Jenny agreed immedi-ately， feeling a burst of joy. So her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her housework determinedly and earnestly every day. Soon Jenny paid off the necklace.

Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed， he would read Jenny her fa-vorite story. One night when he finished the story， he said， “Jenny， do you love me？” “Oh， yes. Daddy， you know I love you，” the little girl said delightedly， with a broad smile on her face. “Well， then， can you give me your necklace，” her father asked. Hearing that， Jenny froze there， a worrying expression twisting her face. “Oh！ Daddy， not my necklace！ But you can have Rosy， my favorite doll. Remember her？ You gave her to me last year for my birth-day. Okay？” “Oh no， darling， thats okay.” Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss， gently and calmly. “Good night， little one.”

A week later， her father once again asked Jenny after her story， “Do you love me？” “Oh， yes. Daddy， you know I love you，” the little girl murmured softly， trying to escape from her fathers eyes. “Well， then， give me your necklace，” her father said. “Oh， Daddy， not my necklace！ But you can have Ribbons， my toy horse. Do you remember her？ She is my favorite，” the little girl begged. “No， thats okay，” her father said， smiling broadly and sweetly and brushed her cheek again with a kiss. “God bless you， little one. Sweet dreams.”F52F5D34-CD2F-44AA-A7F7-3E65E61102D6

注意：

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;

2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1：

Several days later， when Jennys father came in to read her a story， Jenny was waiting anxiously for him on the bed.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

Holding the plastic pearl necklace his daughter offered， the father dragged out a blue box.

一、故事發展

二、原文中的精彩句子结构

三、续写中可以使用的句子结构

1. 在听爸爸讲故事的时候，可以用“When listening to the story， Jenny was totally absent?minded， with her hands holding the necklace tightly and firmly.”。此句中，When引导时间状语从句，主句用了一个简单的“主系表”结构，with的复合结构表示伴随的动作。这个句子长短结合，先短再长，具有很好的平衡性。

2. 在描述珍妮把项链给她父亲的时候，可以用“When the story came to an end， un-expectedly， Jenny offered her beloved necklace to her father， her fingers trembling automatically.”。此句中，her fingers trembling auto-matically是独立主格结构，形象地表达了珍妮当时的情感特征，她舍不得美丽的项链，但是，她对爸爸的爱远远超过了对项链的爱。

3. 在叙述爸爸的盒子里的东西的时候，可以用“Much to Jennys amazement， a beautiful real pearl necklace lay peacefully in the box， which set her heart racing.”。此句中，Much to Jennys amazement作状语，which引导非限制性定语从句，说明了珍妮当时的情感。

【参考范文】

Paragraph 1：

Several days later， when Jennys father came in to read her a story， Jenny was waiting anxiously for him on the bed. When listening to the story， Jenny was totally absent?minded， with her hands holding the necklace tightly and firmly. When the story came to an end， un-expectedly， Jenny offered her beloved necklace to her father， her fingers trembling auto-matically. No one knew what the necklace meant to her. She whispered to her father， softly and gently， “Daddy， you know I love you more than the necklace.” Then， the necklace slid into her fathers hands determinedly.F52F5D34-CD2F-44AA-A7F7-3E65E61102D6

Paragraph 2：

Holding the plastic pearl necklace his daughter offered， the father dragged out a blue box. Much to Jennys amazement， a beautiful real pearl necklace lay peacefully in the box， which set her heart racing. Jenny froze there， an expression of thrill twisting her face. Be-fore Jenny was able to say something， her father brushed her face with a warm kiss and gathered her into his arms. The dad said， “Jenny， life is like this pearl necklace. Stay strong and confident enough， and you will glitter like it every day.” Holding the genuine necklace in her hand， Jenny lifted her lip， tears beginning to blur her vision.

【模擬导练】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

Billy was 15 years old then. He grew up in a very poor neighborhood. No one in his family had gone to col-lege before. Actually， few people around him had received higher education. They all struggled to live a good life. Therefore， Billy knew nothing about college or scholarships and he never thought he would go to college one day. Although he was a smart boy， he didnt study hard at school and often got into trouble with other teenagers in his neighborhood.

One day， while Billy was walking on the playground， a boy of his age started making fun of him. Then that boy pushed him hard and Billy fell onto the ground. Billy became so angry that he stood up and beat that boy. So a fight began.

It happened that Billys English teacher Mr Smith was walking nearby. He immedi-ately ran to the boys to stop the fight. Billy was a bit worried because he knew his teacher was very strict with students. He was afraid that his teacher would punish him. However， to his astonishment， his teacher didnt do that.

“Billy， lets have a talk，” said his teacher.

Billy， not knowing what his teacher wanted to do， was very worried. But he nodded. So they went to a bench nearby and sat down. After they sat down， Mr Smith began， “Billy， I know youre a smart boy， but youre wasting your life now. Why dont you study hard to go to college so that you can change your life and have a bright future？”

Hearing that， Billy didnt know what to say. He had never thought about it. Billy was in silence. Mr Smith continued， “I know you may have never thought about going to col-lege. But everything is possible. When I was at your age， I was a troublemaker just like you and never thought Id be able to go to college， either. It was all because of the support and encouragement of Mr Howard， my math teacher in high school.”F52F5D34-CD2F-44AA-A7F7-3E65E61102D6

注意：

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;

2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1：

Then， Mr Smith began to tell Billy his story.

Paragraph 2：

Billy was greatly touched by Mr Smiths story.

【评价导思】

1. 原文中用了哪些表現力很强的特殊句子结构？这些句子结构对语义的表达有怎样的提升作用？

2. 你的续写用了哪些特殊的句子结构？

3. 范文中用了哪些精彩的句子结构？你有什么样的启发？

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