读后续写的高分四部曲
2022-04-06河南
河南 陈 龙
读后续写是新高考英语最引人关注、最令考生感到棘手的新题型,如何有效地解答读后续写并获得高分是大家都在思考和探讨的问题。通过四个步骤,我们可以获得高分读后续写的“金钥匙”。
Step 1 明确叙事要素,分析故事主题
目前,高考中的读后续写通常是叙事模式的语篇。完整的叙事模式的语篇通常包括点题、指向、叠合事件、评议、结局、回应等要素。各部分的基本含义如下图所示:
读后续写不是无视原文的独立创作,而是顺着原文作者的思路完成未完成的文本。在续写之前,首先应认真阅读原文,理顺故事中的when、where、who、what、why 和how 六大要素。故事中的背景信息主要用于介绍故事中的角色和故事发展的环境。故事背景的介绍常涉及人物、时间、地点、活动或环境的描述等。用来介绍背景信息的常常是非叙事句和时间、地点状语等,它们常常出现在文章的开篇部分。
文章的主题就是文章的中心思想、大意或叙述意图。文章常聚焦在人与自我、人与社会、人与自然三大主题语境上。
【典例链接】(2021·浙江卷)My dad, George, only had an eighth grade education. A quiet man, he didn't understand my world of school activities. From age 14, he worked.And his dad,Albert,took the money my dad earned and used it to pay family expenses.
I didn't really understand his world either: He was a livestock trucker, and I thought that I would surpass(超过)anything he had accomplished by the time I walked across the stage at high school graduation.
【名师导读】在本段中,背景信息包括了人物,如My dad、祖父Albert 以及隐性的故事叙述者I。在叙述中,文章同样包括了对My dad 的背景信息介绍,如教育信息——had an eighth grade education;性格特征——A quiet man;生活经历——“From age 14,he worked.”。通过定位关键词My dad、his dad 和family expenses 可以看出,本篇文章的主题语境应为“个人、家庭”,所反映的主题意义应为family love。
Step 2 抓住两个关键,确定续写方向
文本大意和叙述意图是确定续写方向的两个关键。提炼出文本大意和叙述意图后,结合所给短文的情境模式,即5W(Who?What?When?Where?Why?)和两个续写段首句中与5W 相关的要点,从5W 的角度想象续写部分的主要内容,预测故事的走向。
1.两个续写段落的首句已给出,因此,续写第一段的续写方向相对第二段较为明确。第二段的续写方向较为开放,需结合原文的人物性格特征和故事发展脉络大胆预测。两个续写段落的首句既是提示,也是限制。因此,在预测内容时,须紧跟原文内容,紧密衔接段落首句,这样才能保证续写部分与原文情节的契合。
2.续写方向的预测必须密切结合原文的文本大意、叙述意图、情境模式以及相关细节,并符合原文所要表达的主题意义。
【典例链接】
A MOTHER'S DAY SURPRISE
(2021•新高考Ⅰ卷)The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the sur⁃prise they were planning for Mother's Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken por⁃ridge.They had watched their mother in the kitchen.There was nothing to it.Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs qui⁃etly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture.Next,Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread.The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread.This time,she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly.But the stove was a mess now.Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff's hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.
【名师导读】2021 年新高考Ⅰ卷的读后续写原文叙述的是,一对双胞胎在母亲节为母亲做法式吐司和鸡肉粥,在遇到意外后得到父亲的帮助,最终完成了在母亲节那一天为母亲带来惊喜的心愿的故事。故事的主题为family love。
表1 2021年新高考Ⅰ卷读后续写的语篇分析
(续表)
通过对故事主线的分析,我们发现,续写的原文并未包括对问题的解决,因此,我们需要在续写部分完善故事的情节。结合续写部分第一段的段首句“As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their father appeared.”和续写部分第二段的段首句“The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.”,我们可以判断续写部分的情节应该集中在两个方面:第一,父亲的出现有什么作用?他会做什么呢?第二,看到孩子们做的早餐时,母亲会有什么样的反应呢?
【知识链接】故事类的文本通常由两条线组成。第一条为故事的情节线,反映了故事发展的原因、开始、发展、高潮和结局,这是故事的明线。第二条通常为故事中人物的情感线,反映出当事人的情绪状态和情感变化的过程,这是故事的暗线。通过对原文故事背景、情节线和情感线的分析提炼,可以推测故事发展的趋势,得出文章的主题或叙述意图。叙事类文本的叙述意图或主题指故事的主要内容传递给读者的信息,可以是情,也可以是理。续写部分要在叙述意图或主题上与原文保持一致。
Step 3 注意“两情相悦”,添加合理细节
一篇好的读后续写,其写作思路应遵循原文发展的情节线和情感线,即续写部分与原文达到“两情相悦”时,才能与原文高度融洽。
1.首先,续写部分在情节的发展上与原文的情节发展应该是连贯且合理的,如2020 年新高考Ⅰ卷中提到Mrs.Meredith 曾去过Bernard 的家,续写部分可用paid an⁃other visit to the family 呼应原文中的这个细节。
2.其次,情感线的“相悦”指续写部分的人物心理情感的变化按照原文的人物心理情感的变化合理变化且与原文的主题一致。如2020 年新高考Ⅰ卷原文的主题是“爱、帮助和善行”,续写部分应在进行情感描写时描写Bernard 受到帮助后的感激之情,同时利用心理描写点明原文主题,升华全文的情感。
Step 4 沿袭语言风格,使用优美表达
不同的文章有不同的语言特点,有正式与非正式之分,有朴素与华丽之分,有简洁明快与繁复含蓄之分。但是同一篇文章的语言特点应该是一致的,续写时应判断并沿用原文的语言特点,使续写部分与原文浑然一体。
记叙文的语言风格特点常表现在以下四个方面:
1.句式结构上,包括简单句、复合句、强调句、倒装句等特殊句式的使用。如果原文使用的简单句较多,而复合句等特殊句式较少或几乎没有,那么续写部分就应多使用简单句进行描写,而不应过多涉及复合句。
2.语法结构上,包括主被动语态、非谓语动词、独立主格结构、with 的复合结构、虚拟语气等的使用。
3.词汇选择上,包括常见的初级词汇、高级词汇以及不同词性的使用。
4.修辞手法上,包括比喻、拟人、夸张等修辞的使用。
沿袭原文的语言风格,应坚持四个原则:
1.续写时,应尽可能根据原文在句式结构、语法结构、词汇选择和修辞手法上的语言特点进行遣词造句。
2.不能因个人喜好或为追求词句的高级用法将不符合原文的词句生搬硬套到续写部分。
3.记叙文中常出现人物之间的对话。如果用直接引语记录人物的对话,应特别留意人物的特点和对话的情境。任何人物的语言都应该符合其身份和性格特征。
4.人物的语言也应和说话时的情境吻合,即什么情况下说什么话,如紧急情况下的话语应该是短促的,不适合用复杂的、带有从句的复合句。
表2 2021年新高考Ⅰ卷读后续写的语言分析
(续表)
读后续写作为新题型,并非像我们想象得那样难以应对。只要我们不断加强对故事类文本的阅读,坚持按照四个步骤答题,一定会取得理想的答题效果。
【牛刀小试】
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
At first,Michael didn't see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors' home. He and his wife had just parked around the corner from their own house when they got a call from one of his daughters:“The house next door is on fire!”He went to check.That was when he saw two women and a girl helpless and heartbroken in their doorway.
“The baby's in there!”one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Michael, then 64, immediately ran inside.“The baby”was 8⁃year⁃old Tiara, the woman's granddaughter and a playmate of Michael's three youngest kids.
Entering the burning house was like“running into a bucket of black paint”.The thick smoke caused Michael to stumble blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible to breathe.The conditions would have been dangerous for anyone,but for Michael,who has severe lung disease,they were life⁃threatening.
After a few minutes in the smoke⁃filled house,he retreated outside to catch his breath.“Where is Tiara?”he asked desperately.
“The second floor,”her aunt shouted back.
Michael knew he couldn't hold his breath for long. However, taking a deep breath, he went in a second time.The darkness was overwhelming.Yet because the house had a simi⁃lar design to his, he made it to the second floor. He turned to the right and was met by in⁃tense heat.He was already out of breath.
“Baby girl,where are you?”
His throat and lungs burned as if he'd inhaled fire instead of the smoke in the air.Ev⁃ery blink stung his eyes.All he could hear was the crackling and popping of burning wood.Then a soft but distinct moan emerged. Still unable to see, Michael fell to his knees on the hot wood floor.He crawled toward the sound,feeling around for any sign of the girl.An un⁃lucky thought crossed his mind:I'm probably gonna die up here.
注意:
1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
Finally,Michael touched something.
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Paragraph 2:
Tiara was safe;however,Michael fainted down to the ground,unconscious.
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