余音绕梁，写出别样结尾

浙江 彭文国

【问题导读】

读后续写要求我们根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。其核心是根据原文的情节，写出合适的故事结尾，即在准确理解原文的基础上，根据原文故事的发展，写出符合原文主旨、逻辑关系合理、语言风格一致的结尾。因此，故事结尾情节的设计，是读后续写的关键所在。那么，我们如何才能写出既符合原文特点，又能深化主题、吸引读者、引起共鸣、激发思考的结尾呢？

【名师导学】

为了写出好的故事结尾，我们要做到以下几点：

一、准确理解原文故事的主旨

作者写一个故事，不仅仅是为了叙述一件事，而是通过一件事来表达其思想，或抑恶扬善，或启迪心灵，或美化心情，或传播知识信息，等等。我们在构思结尾时，一定要准确理解原文所要表达的主旨，让结尾符合原文主旨。

二、故事的结尾在语言风格上要和原文保持一致

结尾只是原文的延续，因此，其必须跟原文浑然一体，尤其是在语言风格上。续写部分结尾的用词、句子结构风格都要和原文保持一致。

三、故事的结尾要思路新颖、引人入胜

为了让读者感到眼前一亮，不胜惊喜，同时有所启迪，我们可以从以下视角着手：

1.拓展思维。续写故事时，我们要在保持原文主旨的基础上突破保守思想，勇于探索不同的路径。当然，也要注意不能只贪图猎奇，而使得情节荒诞。要在符合主旨、逻辑合理的前提下进行合理的思考。

2.善于挖掘原文的隐含信息。很多故事的叙述会隐藏一些非常重要的信息词汇，我们要善于发现并挖掘这样的词汇。如“案例导引”中的funny。

3.建立启发思想、激发兴趣的意识。我们写的故事，不要仅仅限于叙述故事本身，而应该要有自己的生命，让读者耳目一新，能引起共鸣和思考，让读者有情感和态度的体验。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

A funny thing happened to Arthur when he was on the way to work one day.As he walked along Park Avenue near the First National Bank,he heard the sound of someone trying to start a car.He tried again and again but couldn't get the car moving.Arthur turned and looked inside at the face of a young man who looked worried.Arthur stopped and asked,“It looks like you've got a problem.”

“I'm afraid so.I'm in a big hurry and I can't start my car.”

“Is there something I can do to help?”Arthur asked.The young man looked at the two suitcases in the back seat and then said,“Thanks.If you're sure it wouldn't be too much trouble,you could help me get these suitcases into a taxi.”

“No trouble at all.I'd be glad to help.”

The young man got out and took one of the suitcases from the back seat.After placing it on the ground,he turned to get the other one.Just as Arthur picked up the first suitcase and started walking,he heard a long loud noise of an alarm.

It was from the bank.There had been a robbery(抢劫)!

Park Avenue had been quiet a moment before.Now the air was filled with the sound of the alarm and the shouts of people running from all directions.Cars stopped and the passengers joined the crowd in front of the bank.People asked each other,“What happened?” But everyone had a different answer.

Arthur,still carrying the suitcase,turned to look at the bank and walked right into the young woman in front of him.

She looked at the suitcase and then at him.Arthur was surprised.

“Why is she looking at me like that?” he thought.“The suitcase!She thinks I'm the bank thief!”

Arthur looked around at the crowd of people.He became frightened,and without another thought,he started to run.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1：

As he was running,Arthur heard the young man shouting behind,“Stop!Stop! ”_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

一、文本解读

文章的基本脉络如下：

故事的开始，亚瑟在街上行走时看到一个年轻人遇到了困难。年轻人的汽车发动不了，而他需要把两个箱子搬到出租车上去。于是好心的亚瑟就帮他搬箱子。

而就在这时，银行的警报器响了。现场一片混乱，人们四处跑动。

亚瑟一边搬运东西，一边回头张望。由于没有看清前面，所以撞到了一位女士。那位女士看着亚瑟，又看了看他手里的手提箱，似乎很怀疑亚瑟。

亚瑟刚开始还觉得很奇怪:那位女士为什么那样看着自己？突然，他想起了手里提着的那个年轻人的箱子。联想到银行报警器，他察觉自己被误认为是抢劫犯了。想到这里，他极为恐惧，于是不假思索，开始猛跑。

二、结尾设计

续写第一段的段首句：亚瑟开始跑，而后面的年轻人在他后面大叫“站住！站住！”

续写第二段的段首句：出租车停在了警察局门口，亚瑟……

从所给的两段的段首句可以看出，最终是亚瑟坐出租车去了警察局。而去了警察局最典型的结果就是文章中的男人是抢劫犯，亚瑟帮助警察抓住了坏人，立了大功。然而，这样的设计其实和原文主旨不符，也没有什么特别的吸引力。

在设计结尾的情节的时候，我们一定要注意文章开始点明的funny thing，故事的最终发展一定要符合这个中心。也就是故事结尾必须和开头照应，结尾应该是一个funny story。只有结尾写出funny的特点，才符合文章主旨，有新意，才会让读者有会心一笑、回味无穷的感觉。

三、参考结尾

Paragraph 1：

As he was runnin g,Arthur heard the young man shouting behind,“Stop!Stop! ”But Arthur ran even faster.Just then,a taxi came along.Arthur stopped it immediately and threw himself into the back seat.As soon as he got in,he asked the driver to go to the Police Station.Considering the urgent situation,the driver pulled out the car and headed for the nearest Police Station.

Paragraph 2：

The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur ran into it,shouting,“There's a bank robbery and I know the bank thief.”No sooner had Arthur told his story than the policemen headed for the bank without delay.When they arrived at the spot,they were surprised to find that the people who gathered before the bank were now crowding around the young man,who seemed quite worried.Finally,Arthur realized that he had made a mistake.The loud noise of the alarm was incorrectly made by the bank's system and nothing happened to the bank,but the young man was worried that someone had robbed his suitcase.

四、续写赏析

续写的结尾，在情节上设计新颖，没有写亚瑟抓住了抢劫犯，而是以原文中的funny为设计的出发点，设计出了“误会”的结尾。这样的故事结尾轻松自然，让读者感受到了阅读的愉悦，产生了积极的情感体验，可以说余音绕梁，回味无穷。

同时，续写结尾使用了非常具有语境感的词汇和句子结构，为文章叙述的故事增加了紧张效果。如“Arthur stopped it immediately and threw himself into the back seat.”这里的immediately和threw himself into非常形象地描述了当时的情景。

“Considering the urgent situation,the driver pulled out the car and headed to the nearest Police Station.”此处，pull out非常好地描述了汽车快速冲出的情景。

“No sooner had Arthur told his story than the policemen headed for the bank without delay.”这里用了no sooner...than...的结构，将警察快速出动的情景描绘得淋漓尽致。

【模拟导练】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

Having held the inter-school storytelling championship for the past two years,I was the shining star of my school.When it came to choosing the right candidate to participate in such competitions,I was always the first choice.Naturally,I was once again selected to represent my school in the approaching contest this year.

Upon hearing the fact that I was chosen again,my classmates and friends acknowledged that I would undoubtedly emerge as the champion again.Consequently,I became conceited.I was so proud that I neglected the importance of practicing for the contest.

A week before the contest,my teacher Ms Sara asked,“Selena,would you like to stand in front of the class to rehearse for the contest?”She had tutored me in the past two competitions and knew how important practice was.“Just imagine you are on the stage in the presence of the audience,”she added.

“I'm sorry,Ms Sara,” I replied.“I have a bit of a sore throat.”

This was usually the lie I would tell whenever my teacher requested me to practice in front of the class.I always found excuses to avoid doing it because I believed that I was the best and therefore the practice was unnecessary.On one occasion,I even told Ms Sara not to worry too much as I was well prepared for the contest.In fact,I did everything but practice my script.I only managed to glance briefly through the story the day before the contest.As the best storyteller among the students of the local secondary schools,I was too vain to practice and expected everything to be fine.

The contest was being held in the local community hall.On the day of the contest,the hall was packed.My school teachers and principal were there along with many of my classmates and schoolmates.I was the eighth contestant out of twenty in total.Those who spoke before me did extremely well.On seeing their fascinating and outstanding performance,I began to lose confidence in myself.My palms sweated heavily and I started to feel nervous.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

Soon,it was my turn to talk._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

Finally,results were announced after the contest._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

参考范文

Paragraph 1:

Soon,it was my turn to talk.Facing the crowd,I found myself suffering from stage fright.I spoke in an expressionless voice and even stuttered a few times as I forgot parts of the story.My legs trembled and so did my voice.On seeing my terrible performance,the judges shook their heads.The supporters from my school looked at me in disappointment.I have never been so embarrassed in my life.In the end,I walked off the stage,my eyes filled with tears.

Paragraph 2:

Finally,results were announced after the contest.I did not win any prizes—not even a consolation one.It was not surprising at all.I felt ashamed when I faced my classmates and,of course,Ms Sara.I regretted overestimating myself.My vanity had cost me the championship.But Ms Sara didn't blame.She just gave me a hug and said,“I am sure you have learned enough.”Definitely she was right,I had learned my lesson well and finally understood the meaning of the two sayings, “Pride goes before a fall.” and “Practice makes perfect! ”

【评价导思】

1.续写的故事情节符合原文的主旨吗？

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2.故事的结尾反映了什么样的主题？是否可以触动心灵、发人深省？

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3.续写部分用词有什么特点？能帮助提升情节语境吗？

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