Worried About Your Teenager?为青春期的孩子担忧吗？

王海燕/译

It can be difficult for parents to tell whether their teenagers are just “being teens” or if there is something more serious going on.

Many of the things you may notice， such as changing moods， can often be attributed to normal teenage behaviour. However， it can be helpful to know when there may be signs of a more serious problem.

If youre worried about your teenagers behaviour or general wellbeing you should consider：

· speaking to your teenager about your worries

· getting advice from a GP1

Its important to know that many parents and carers find teenage behaviour difficult to understand or challenging to cope with.

Depression in teenagers

Noticeable symptoms of depression in teenagers can include：

· continuous low mood or sadness as well as frequent tearfulness

· voicing/showing feelings of hopelessness and helplessness

· being irritable and intolerant of others

· little or no enjoyment of things that were once interesting to them

· increasing social isolation

· disturbed sleep patterns （for example， problems going to sleep and/or waking throughout the night）

Teenage eating disorders2

The most common eating disorders include anorexia， bulimia， binge eating and other specified feeding or eating disorder （OSFED）.

OSFED， when symptoms do not exactly match those of anorexia， bulimia or binge eating disorder， can be just as serious. Some children and young people may experience avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder （ARFID） 3.

Signs of eating disorders can include：

· complaining about being fat， even though they are a normal weight or are underweight

· letting people around them think they have eaten when they have not

· being secretive about their eating habits

· becoming anxious， upset or guilty when asked to eat

· vomiting， or using laxatives in order to lose weight

Teenagers who self-harm

If you suspect that your teenager is self-harming， look out for any of the following signs：

· unexplained cuts， bruises or cigarette burns， usually on their wrists， arms， thighs and chest

· keeping themselves fully covered at all times， even in hot weather

· signs of depression， such as low mood， tearfulness， a lack of interest in everything

· signs of low self-esteem， such as blaming themselves for any problems or thinking they are not good enough

· signs they have been pulling out their hair

Teenagers who take drugs

Signs that your teenager is taking drugs can include：

· losing interest in hobbies， sports or other favourite activities

· dramatic changes in behaviour

· excessive tiredness and lack of appetite

· dilated pupils， red eyes， bad skin

· stealing money from you

How can I help my teenager？

If youre worried about your teenager and they refuse to talk to you， you may need to open up other channels of communication.

Avoid persistent direct questioning as this can make them feel threatened.

Try these tips to encourage your teenager to open up if there is a problem：

· be honest and explain that youre worried that theyre going through something difficult

· point them towards websites or helplines that can give them information on depression， drugs and self-harm so they can find out the facts themselves

· do not blame yourself for any problems theyre having and try not to take it personally—this will not help the situation

· tell them youll be there for them when they do want to talk

· let them choose where to go for help， which may be a GP， a family friend or school counsellor

· help your teenager think for themselves—encourage them to think through the pros and cons of their behaviour， remind them what theyre good at and what you like about them， and help them think critically about what they see and hear

家长们可能很难分清楚，自己十几岁的孩子仅仅是“正值青春期”，还是存在更严重的问题。

你也许注意到情绪波动之类的状况，其中很多常可归为正常的青少年行为。但是，孩子有更严重的问题时可能会有一些迹象，了解这些对解决问题会有帮助。

如果担忧孩子的行为或总体身心状况，那就应当考虑：

· 跟孩子谈谈你的担忧;

· 向医生寻求建议。

很多家长和看护人都觉得青少年的行为难以理解或不易应对——了解这一点很重要。

青少年抑郁症

青少年抑郁症可能有以下明显症状：

· 持续情绪低落或伤心难过，且频繁哭泣;

· 表達或表现出无望感和无助感;

· 烦躁易怒，不容忍别人;

· 对曾经感兴趣的事物减少或丧失兴趣;

· 越来越回避社交;

· 睡眠节律紊乱（例如入睡困难或彻夜难眠）。

青少年饮食紊乱症

最常见的饮食紊乱症包括厌食、贪食、暴食和其他特定的饮食紊乱症（OSFED）。

OSFED与厌食、贪食、暴食的症状不完全吻合，但严重程度可能不相上下。有些儿童及青年或许患有回避性/限制性摄食障碍（ARFID）。

饮食紊乱症可能有以下迹象：

· 抱怨自己胖，即使体重正常甚至偏低;

· 没吃东西却让周围人以为已吃过;

· 遮掩自己的饮食习惯;

· 让吃东西时感到焦虑、心烦或内疚;

· 催吐或服用泻药以减轻体重。

青少年自残行为

如果怀疑孩子有自残行为，请留心以下任何一种迹象：

· 出现原因不明的伤口、淤青或烟头烫痕，通常出现在手腕、手臂、大腿和胸部;

· 总是穿戴严实，天气炎热也不例外;

· 出现抑郁症状，例如情绪消沉、经常哭泣、对一切事物缺乏兴趣;

· 出现妄自菲薄的情况，例如凡事自责或认为自己不够好;

· 出现一直拔自己头发的情况。

青少年吸毒行为

孩子吸毒可能有以下迹象：

· 对业余爱好、体育运动或其他曾经喜爱的活动失去兴趣;

· 行为剧烈变化;

· 极度疲惫，无胃口;

· 瞳孔放大，两眼发红，皮肤变差;

· 偷父母钱。

如何帮助孩子？

如果担忧孩子，而他们拒绝对话，那可能需要开辟其他沟通渠道。

切忌直接质问且问个不停，以免孩子感觉受威胁。

如果发现问题，可尝试以下方法鼓励孩子敞开心扉：

· 坦诚告诉孩子，看到他们遇到困难，作为父母感到担忧;

· 向孩子推荐有关抑郁症、吸毒和自残的网站或求助热线，便于他们自行查询相关事实;

· 勿因孩子的任何问题而自责，不要太往心里去，这样做于事无补;

· 告诉孩子，他们想找人谈谈时你会倾耳细听;

· 让孩子自己选择是求助于医生，还是求助于家庭友人或学校辅导员;

· 帮助孩子独立思考——鼓励他们仔细思考自己行为的利弊优劣，提醒他们自身有哪些长处、作为父母喜欢他们哪些地方，帮助他们多角度思考所见所闻。

（译者单位：北京第二外国语学院英语学院）