A voice kissed by an angel被“天使”吻过的歌声
2021-08-27袁丹纯
袁丹纯
患有先天性生理缺陷的埃米莉·怀特有着美妙的好嗓音,她想要参加一年一度的表演却被音乐老师欧文斯夫人无情拒绝。在她遇见新的音乐老师巴特勒先生后,出现了新的转机。
1 Emily White was born with so many birth problems in her body 17 years ago. Some of her organs, bones and muscles were out of shape, because of which no one expected her to survive long. To everyones surprise, she did make it but with her strange body figure. Everyone could recognize her, even from a distance.
2 In her hometown, a yearly outdoor performance was held in the school auditorium(礼堂). It had been performed for so many years and actually had become one of the most important events of the Christmas season for many of the locals.
3 Many people tried out each year for it, but so many were turned away. It can only include the most excellent people in the field.
4 Emily had a beautiful singing voice. Last year she went to Mrs Owens, her music teacher, to ask to join in the performance. Without letting her sing, Mrs Owens took a glance at Emilys body and said, “Child, you are just not suitable. Everyone would stare at you and that would make you uncomfortable. It would make them uncomfortable, too.”
5 Without singing a single note, Emily was sent back through the door of the choral room. Hurt and upset, she decided never to try out again. But Mrs Owens then retired.
6 This year, there came a new music teacher, Mr Butler. He heard about Emily and suggested that she have a try.
7 Afraid to be rejected again, Emily hesitated about it. As Emily struggled, the door was pushed open and Mr Butler called, “Emily, youre next.” Kind of nervous as she was, Emily did as Mr Butler told her to. Mr Butler sat by the piano to keep Emily company. When Emily finished her testing performance, she thanked Mr Butler and knew the result would be posted on the door of the choral room the next day.
8 Emily couldnt sleep that night. She tossed and turned in bed one thousand times. She was suffering from the feelings that she didnt fit and the great need to be accepted. By the next morning, she still got butterflies in her stomach.
閱读上面的短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
Emily hurried to the choral room and anxiously glanced at the list on the door.
Paragraph 2:
Finally, the day for the performance came.
写作导引
Ⅰ. Sorting the elements
Ⅱ. Analyzing the characters personalities
Ⅲ. Exploring the theme
What is the text about? And what does the author want to tell us by telling this story?
Ⅳ. Discovering language features
1. Analyzing language features
(1)丰富的with/without结构,使文章较为活泼、灵动。
Emily White was born with so many birth problems in her body 17 years ago. (Para. 1)
Without letting her sing, Mrs Owens took a glance at Emilys body... (Para. 4)
Without singing a single note, Emily was sent back through the door of the choral room.(Para. 5)
(2)過去分词作伴随状语,与逻辑主语为被动关系,使用较为地道。
Hurt and upset, she decided never to try out again. (Para. 5)
(3)“adj.+as/though+主语+谓语”结构一方面强调形容词,一方面让读者眼前一亮,令读者印象深刻。
Kind of nervous as she was, Emily did as Mr Butler told her to. (Para. 7)
(4)形象的比喻修辞手法,让表达更生动有趣。
By the next morning, she still got butterflies in her stomach (非常紧张). (Para. 8)
2. Discovering useful expressions
hurt and upset 又伤心又沮丧
kind of nervous as she is 尽管她有些紧张
make sb uncomfortable 让某人不舒服
hesitate about... 对……犹豫
struggle 挣扎
toss and turn in bed one thousand times 辗转难眠
suffer from 忍受……
the great need to be accepted 急需被接纳
get butterflies in her stomach 非常紧张
Ⅴ. Conceiving new plots
续写第一段:
从文章最后一段埃米莉彻夜难眠,紧张等待选拔结果的情节可以推测出在未看到结果前埃米莉的紧张心理,推荐表达有“Shake violently, vibrate with tension and chew her lower lip nervously, feeling as if her heart would jump out.”。
从续写第一段的段首句,我们得知埃米莉即将得知结果,我们可根据以下问题链推测:
1. What would the result be like given the fact that Emily had a beautiful singing voice?
2. What would Emily do and say after knowing the result?
3. Would Mr Butler show up at this special moment?
续写第二段的段首句“Finally, the day for the performance came.(终于,表演那一天来了)”预示了埃米莉应该通过了选拔,并暗示通过用心排练,埃米莉“终于”迎来这一天。因此,在续写的第一段应该包括以上的信息。
续写第二段:
结合续写第二段的段首句和以下问题,我们可以进行推测:
1. How would Emily feel when she showed up on the stage given the fact that she lacked self confidence?
2. If Emily didnt feel confident on the stage, who might help her?
观察故事开始的情节,根据首尾呼应的原则,预测最后一段的内容。
Would Emily become different although she still had “so many birth problems in her body”?
从作者的写作目的推测结局的走向。为了保持与前文主题的一致性,我们可以推测故事的结局——埃米莉或许通过老师的鼓励在这次表演上取得成果,获得信心,呼应主题。表示“开心或满意”的相关表达有feel a sudden tingle of excitement、in a state of great excitement、beam with smiles/joy。