Jokes

In the Restaurant

Customer： Excuse me， there is a fly in my porridge.

Waiter： Dont worry， sir. That spider on your bread will soon get him.

在餐馆

顾客：打扰一下，我的粥里有一只苍蝇。

服务生：别担心，先生。你面包上的蜘蛛很快就会吃掉它。

A Businessmans Idea

A family moved from the city to the suburbs， and were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their house.

So they bought the largest dog available from a near-by dealer.

Shortly afterwards the house was broken into at night by burglars while the dog was asleep. The householder went to the dealer and told him about it.

“Well， what you need now，” said the dealer， “is a little dog to wake up the dog.”

商人的主意

一户人家从城里搬到郊区，有人告诉他们应该买一条看门狗来守家。

于是他们就去附近的一个商人那里买了一条最大的狗。

不久之后，夜贼闯进他们家时，那条狗却一直在睡觉。这位房主去找那个商人告诉他这件事。

“那么，”商人说，“你们现在还需要一条小狗来叫醒这条狗。”

Only Once

A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. “I understand your father was also a lion tamer，” he reporter queried.

“Yes， he was，” the man replied.

“Do you actually put your head in the lions mouth？”

“I did it only once，” said the new tamer， “to look for Dad.”

只有一次

一位馴狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，”记者问道。

“他过去是。”那人回答说。

“你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？”

“只有一次，”那位驯狮新手说，“为了找我爸爸。”

A Poor Poet

Dad： I hope youve received the poems.

Mom： Its very nice. I wonder where Ive put it？

Son： Its under the leg of the table to make it steady.

一名可怜的诗人

爸爸：我希望你已经收到那些诗了。

妈妈：收到了。我把它放哪儿去了呢？

儿子：你为了让桌子立得更稳，把那些诗稿垫桌子腿了。

Good News and Bad News

“Theres good news and bad news”， the divorce lawyer told his client.

“I could sure use some good news，” sighed the client. “Whats it？”

“Your wife isnt demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.”

“And the bad news？ ”

“After the divorce， shes marrying your father.”

好消息和坏消息

“有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。

“我总能利用一些好消息吧，”当事人叹了口气说，“是什么好消息？”

“你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。”

“那么坏消息呢？”

“离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。”

（本刊资料）