一个难忘的儿童节
2021-02-14广东周淑涵
广东 周淑涵
“我”在求职的途中捡到了一把精美的雨伞并通过伞上的名字联系到了失主，这把雨伞对她而言是非常珍贵的，她很感激并要给“我”酬金，但“我”拒绝了。 “我”的境况很凄凉, 刚刚离婚又四处打零工。就在儿童节的前一天，“我”又失去了工作。女儿的儿童节礼物该怎么办呢？ 接下来“我”和女儿要怎样度日呢？
题材体裁个人经历记叙文372★★★文章词数难度建议用时5分钟
When I was in my 20s, I just got divorced and had no job. It was a spring rainy day and I was on my way to the employment offices. I sat down in the subway—and there against the seat was a beautiful silk umbrella with a silver handle inlaid with gold. I had never seen anything so lovely. I examined the handle and saw a name engraved among the golden scrolls. After getting off the subway,I searched a telephone book for the name and found it. I called and a lady answered.
Yes, she said in surprise, that was her umbrella, which her parents, now dead, had given her for a birthday present. She was so excited that I forgot I was looking for a job and went directly to her small house. She took the umbrella, her eyes filled with tears. She wanted to give me a reward, but I refused. We talked for a while, and she was a teacher. I must have given her my address.
The next several months were wretched. I was able to obtain only temporary employment here and there, for a small salary. But I put aside twenty-five or fifty cents every month when I could afford it for my little girl's present for Children's Day.
On Children's Day, the air was full of merriment as I walked from the subway to my small apartment. Many shops were decorated with dolls and boxes of presents, with children running and laughing outside. I stood for a while, wondering if I should step in and buy something for my girl. I had just about reached the lowest point in my life. My last job ended and my rent was soon due, with not much money left—which Peggy and I would need for food. Unless a miracle happened, we would be homeless next month, foodless and jobless.
But I made myself smile when I arrived home so I could greet my little daughter with a pretense of happiness. She opened the door for me and threw herself in my arms, screaming joyously, looking forward to her present. I walked to the kitchen, and fetched three cans that could be our dinner, feeling heartbroken.
Language Study
Useful sentence patterns
1. There against the seat was a beautiful silk umbrella with a silver handle inlaid with gold.
分析：本句为完全倒装句。 there against the seat为状语置于句首，句中的主语和谓语的顺序互换。 正常的语序是“A beautiful silk umbrella with a silver handle inlaid with gold was there against the seat.”。
2. But I put aside twenty-five or fifty cents every month when I could afford it for my little girl's present for Children's Day.
分析：句中when作连词，连接复合句，可译为“我每个月攒25或50分钱，准备给女儿买儿童节礼物”。
Reading Check
阅读上面的文章，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
At the moment, the doorbell rang and Peggy ran fleetly to answer it.________________________
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Paragraph 2:
Our dinner the night was the most delicious I had ever eaten._____________________________
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写作导引
一、语篇研读
读后续写要求续写的部分在情节和逻辑方面与原文高度契合。 为此，我们必须在掌握原文大意和叙述意图的基础上，分析所给文章的情境模式。
分析记叙文的情境模式，就需要关注5个W，即who、what、when、where，以及why。我们在阅读时要把握故事的情节线，分析故事的起因、开始、发展，并归纳出故事的主要矛盾。 根据文章中已知的信息，如情感的线索、行为的线索、时间的线索、空间的线索等来推断将要发生的事情，合理构思续写部分的情节。
要素分析：所给短文的情境模式发展：续写短文的情境模式 说明：如此构思的理由WhoI, the teacher, PeggyI, Peggy, a delivery man, the teacher What I happened to pick up a special umbrella on a rainy day and returned it to its owner, a teacher. She was grateful and intended to give me a reward, since it was a valuable gift for her. But I refused, even if I pulled through a hard life.Unexpectedly, a delivery man came to our apartment with my parcels that were sent by the teacher. She sent us gifts, lighting up my hope of life, which encouraged me to face all difficulties in life.The teacher was grateful for retrieving her special umbrella.WhenThe year when I got divorcedOn Children's Day of that year Where One good turn deserves another.My apartment The teacher was grateful to me and would like to pay it back.Why The teacher's house I didn't want to accept the teacher's reward because I wanted to show my kindness.
二、情节构思
基于原文和续写段落首句提供的信息，采用围绕中心提问相关问题的方法，构思要续写的故事情节，一般分为四步。
第一步，根据已给出的文本判断文章的立意。
文章给出的部分主要记叙的是：“我”在雨天拾到一把精致的雨伞，并把它交还给失主（一名教师），她很感激“我”。 “我”的日子艰难，到处打零工，每个月都攒点钱来准备女儿的儿童节礼物。结合文章的第二段“她想给我一些报酬，但是我拒绝了”的内容，可推断出本文的立意是“感恩”和“回报”。
第二步，根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段应包括什么内容。
根据续写第二段段首句“那天晚上的晚餐是我吃过最美味的晚餐”，并结合已给出的文本的最后一段的尾句“我走进厨房拿出晚餐要吃的三个罐头，伤心极了”可知，在续写第一段“我”的心情已经发生了逆转，故续写第一段要写访客到来的目的，以及给“我”的心情带来的改变，这样才能确保续写的两段是相衔接的。
第三步，围绕续写第一段所给出的段首句，以及上面的分析进行提问：
1. Who was ringing the doorbell? Maybe the teacher, or someone else?
2. What's the reason for the visit?
3. What did we do after the visit?
第四步，围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句进行提问：
1. How did I feel about the visit?
2. What did I do after dinner?
3. What did I learn from the experience?
三、润色成篇
在续写的过程中要注意情节连贯、 各部分内容相衔接：1. 两段的续写与所给短文的衔接；2. 每段的续写与续写段段首句之间的衔接；3. 续写的两段之间的衔接。 同时要注意语言风格的一致和语法、句型、所用词的准确性。 比如，刻画人物形象时运用恰当的形容词使其栩栩如生，描写人物心理活动时使用一些副词或介词短语使其细微深入。
