雅思写作中的句子基本功（二）：代词的使用

在雅思作文评分标准中，有一条涉及“衔接和连贯”，即要求作文中的句子之间需要有紧密的联系，不能上句不接下句。实现句子之间的衔接，手段其实很多，比如使用连词（and、but、because等），也可以重复前一句中的名词。今天老雅想和大家分享的是，如何使用代詞来实现句子之间的衔接，更重要的是，老雅将从学生实际作文中提取例句，讲解中国学生在使用代词时经常出现的错误，帮助大家避免类似错误。

英语和汉语在代词使用方面存在较大差异。首先，英语使用代词的频率明显高于汉语，而汉语中省略代词和名词重复的频率则远远超过英语。汉语主张少用代词，对待代词的原则是：为了明白，就名词重复;为了简洁，名词代词都不用。英语则要求避免同一名词在相近的语言环境中重复使用。汉英的这一差异，加之英语代词系统的独特性，使中国学生在使用英语代词时容易出现偏误。以下老雅将通过例句一一分析，各位同学看自己写作中是否存在相似的问题。

问题1：该用代词的时候用名词重复。

如前所述，汉语倾向于重复名词以使上下文连贯，而英语则倾向于使用代词。这种差异往往造成中国学生在英语作文中大量重复名词，而不喜欢用代词，使作文读起来既不流畅也不精练。

【例1】 The man is not a young man， but the man is not old. He is about forty-four or forty-five years old. The man is a good-looking man， tall， handsome， rather thin， with dark-brown hair just beginning to go gray. The man is always well-dressed， but quiet in good taste.

【例2】 Turkey had the highest proportion of national consumer expenditure in food， drinks and tobacco， at 32.14%， which was approximately twice as much as that of Italy. Ireland had the second highest proportion of national consumer expenditure in food， drinks， and tobacco. It was 28.91%.

【例3】 Self-confidence is very important for us. With self-confidence we can do whatever we want to; without self-confidence， we can achieve nothing.

例1中，the man被毫无必要地重复了四次，虽然在汉语中这样重复并无违和感。例2中出现的重复更是极端：在描写土耳其和爱尔兰两个国家在食物、饮料和香烟方面的花销时，文字上居然完全重复，全然没有使用代词的概念。可作如下修改：... Ireland had the second highest proportion in this sector / field / expenditure， at 28.91%. 例3没有明显语法错误，但读起来颇似汉语表达：“自信对我们很重要。有了自信我们百事可为;没有自信则一事无成。” 很明显，学生受到了来自汉语结构的消极影响。这句可改为： Self-confidence is very important for us. With it we can do whatever we want to， or else we can achieve nothing.

问题2：该用代词的时候不用代词。

【例4】 People should not spend too much time on hobbies in order to avoid disturbing normal work and study.

【例5】 Many international meetings on environment protection are held， at which scientists from different countries can exchange ideas and learn from each other.

例4句意是“人们不应该在业余爱好上花太多时间， 以免影响正常工作和学习”，例5句意是“在召开的许多有关环境保护的国际会议上，世界各地的科学家们可以交流思想和互相学习”。汉语中不使用物主代词不会引起误解，读起来也非常自然。然而，在英语中则应该加上物主代词，所以两句中斜体部分最好改为：their normal work and study（例4）， exchange their ideas （例5）。

问题3：随意转换所使用的代词，前后不能保持一致。

【例6】 So long as you have the Internet access， anyone can receive distance education.

【例7】 Before leaving for foreign countries， it is necessary for us to know about the local culture and language since this can help you avoid some cultural misunderstanding.

代词使用时要保持前后一致，一般不随意转换，否则就会造成所指不明的错误。这种错误在中国学生的英语作文中相当普遍，尤其是在不定代词的使用方面。其根源在于汉语的不定代词使用是可以随意转换的（比如“我们大家都要努力工作，要不然你就会丢工作”），而英语一般情况下需要保持一致（We must work hard， or we will lose our job）。例6中，从句中用you，主句中用anyone，明显不一致，可将anyone改为you;例7中，前面用us，后面用you，将you改为us即可实现一致性。

问题4：代词与其照应的内容在性、数、格上不一致。

【例8】 We all know that everyone is forever a child in their parents eyes.

【例9】 If a friend of you asks you to do a wrong thing for him， your best answer is of course “No！”

【例10】 The old have their lifetime knowledge， but many young people regard it as a long-term burden and consider they are of little value to our life.

人稱代词、反身代词以及相应的限定代词必须和它们指代的对象保持性、数、格上的一致。以第三人称单数为例，若指代对象为阳性名词，代词通常用he、him、himself、his;若指代对象为阴性名词，代词通常用she、her、herself、hers;若指代对象是表示无生命事物的名词， 代词常用it、its、itself。代词的格分为三种，分别是主格、宾格和所有格，各有其相应的形式，都不能犯错。例8中，everyone是单数，后面用their来指代就违反了数的一致性，应为his/her;例9中，a friend of you应该是a friend of yours;例10的“many young people regard it ... and consider they ... to our life”中，it明显指代前文中的knowledge，是不可数名词，但后面又用了复数形式they，这也违反了数的一致性，可改为it。此外，本句主语是young people，但后面却用our life来指代，这就是上文说到的“随意转换代词”，改为their life就一致了。

问题5：代词使用引发流水句。

【例11】 Students are always faced with great pressure from examination， some of them even choose suicide.

【例12】 Students with a part-time job have chances to contact different people， this will make them more experienced to deal with interpersonal relationships in future.

【例13】 Students spend too much time preparing for examination， they always ignore outdoor activities and exercises.

流水句是中国学生最容易犯的句法错误之一，代词使用往往引发这一错误，其根源依然是汉语的负迁移：在汉语句子中，代词引导的句子和主句无缝衔接，直接用逗号相连，但英语中并不允许这种用法。例11中，前句主语为students，后句主语为some of them，这是两个不同主语引起的句子，无法直接用逗号连接，可在两个句子中间加连接词and，或者将第二句变为从属句，比如将them改为whom;与此相同，例12也可用and连接，或将this改为which;例13可加and或so来连接。

最后，老雅从其创作的雅思真题范文中提取5个含有代词使用的句子，读者可以结合以上讲解，看老雅如何使用代词。

1. In modern society， young people prefer to stay apart from their parents and live alone in big cities. Further， they have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30s or even early 40s.

2. We all need news for information and knowledge， and in order for news to be reliable rather than misleading， a journalist must have a willing heart to pursue truth， a fair judgment and most important of all， a strong ability to express his/her mind with words.

3. When a historic structure has become a threat to society， for example， having it removed can actually add more value to the area around it.

4. The second reason is that by doing different jobs or careers， young people can increase their work experience and eventually become more versatile. This may give them a competitive edge， especially in todays job market where an all-round employee is always preferred.

5. A friend of mine got married after having been single and living by himself for many years， only to find that he was always quarreling with his wife because， in his words， she was constantly picking faults with his habits and lifestyle.                    □

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1唐伟胜，博士生导师，江西师范大学首席教授，英美文学学者。