JOKES

武俊飞

I Have to Be Gentle

The time came for annual immunizations at our overseas Air Force base. To get us all vaccinated as quickly as possible， the veterinary surgeon was pressed into service. I got my injection from the vet. “Wow，” I said， “you did that so gently. I hardly felt it.” “I have to be gentle，” he said. “My patients can bite.”

我不得不輕柔

我们海外空军基地一年一次的免疫接种时间到了。为了使我们尽快全部地接种完，他们征用了兽医来帮忙。 一位兽医给我注射。“哇 ，” 我说，“你注射得这么轻柔，我几乎没感觉到。” 兽医说：“我不得不轻柔，我的患者是会咬人的。”

A New Employee

Being the office supervisor， I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints， she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution. “Is there another door I could use？”

一位新职员

身为办公室主管， 我不得不和一位从不准时上班的新职员谈一谈。我向她解释说公司不允许上班迟到，而且其他的职员已经注意到了她每天总是晚进来。在听了我的不满意见之后，她承认这是个问题，甚至还提出了解决办法：“还有另外的门我可以走吗？”

Visual Training

The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots， but unhesitatingly the recruit replied， “Sixteen men and a sergeant， sir.”

“Right， but how do you know there's a sergeant there？”

“He's not doing any digging， sir.”

视力训练

班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”

“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士？”

“他不干活，长官。”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled， put the cheese into his mouth and then said： “You must have better eyes than your mother， sonny. Where did you find the cheese？” “In the rat-trap， sir，”

replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。