Mount Tai
2020-08-11张超
本期点评名师
张超 男,河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、市优秀英语教师、县骨干教师,从事英语教育教学工作31年;多年来,在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇,并有多篇论文获奖;曾参与高中版教辅资料《天天向上》和《三维方案》的编写工作,并荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;多次辅导学生在省、市和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。
Mount Tai
As we know, Mount Tai lies in the west of Shandong Province. It is one of most① well-known mountains in China, which attracts hundreds of thousands of visitors at home and abroad every year. To visit Mount Tai has been the wish for the people for thousands of years. Its not far to② the city. It takes you about half an hour to get there by bus. Although climbing the Mountain Tai may make you feel a little tired, but③ on the way to the top of the mountain, you can enjoy the beautiful scenery of sea of clouds, strangely-shaped pines, unique rocks, and hot springs and so on. Seen from the top of Mount Tai, the sunrise looks very beautiful. In fact, the beauty of the sunrise and sunset glow is equally beyond description.
You will be amazed at the wonderful scenery there if you have a chance to visit it. It is really worth to visit④.
河北省阜城縣第四中学九年级 赵海红
1. 优点:
本习作是一篇以写景为主的记叙文,围绕泰山展开,介绍了它的概况和云海、奇松、怪石、温泉、日出、晚霞等绝美而又壮观的奇景。小作者文笔犀利,用“sea of clouds”“strangely-shaped pines”“unique rocks”和“hot springs”等表达描绘出了泰山美景。文中句式多变,“it”引导的形式主语句、定语从句、状语从句以及动名词、不定式等的恰当使用给文章增色不少。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①在“most”前面加“the”。形容词“well-known”的最高级前面应有“定冠词+most”。
②“to”改为“from”。“be far from”是固定短语,意为“离……远”。
③删除“but”。在英语句子中,“although”和“but”不能在同一个句子里同时使用。
④ “to visit”改为“visiting”。“be worth doing”是固定短语,意为“值得做某事”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准,本文修改前可得18分。