Patience Is a Chinese Virtue

By Lu Qiutian

When visiting China for the first time, most Europeans are usually curious about many things in China—and sometimes even feel a little perplexed.For example,a banner is often seen here and there on which it reads, “Bearing fewer kids and planting more trees, to a moderately prosperous society are the keys.” They don't understand the relationship between childbirth and tree planting.

A friend of mine once told me that only three Europeans in history really knew the Chinese way of thinking, and they alone introduced it to the world.They were the 13th-century explorer Marco Polo, 16thcentury missionary Matteo Ricci, and modern scholar Joseph Needham.The former two were Italians, and the latter is British.

Europeans generally find themselves less patient than Chinese when they work together.Before coming to China, Europeans will often consult a China expert for advice.These “China Hands” would suggest that they should keep patient in order to maintain a good relationship with the Chinese—otherwise, they will get nowhere.

欧洲人初来中国，会对许多事情感到好奇，进而迷惑不解。比如标语“少生孩子多种树，快快奔上小康路”，他们不理解为什么要把生孩子和种树联系起来。

有位朋友曾对我说，真正了解、介绍中国人思维方式的欧洲人只有3 个，即13世纪的马可·波罗、16世纪的利玛窦、当代的李约瑟。前两位是意大利人，后者是英国人。

同中国人交往，欧洲人普遍感到在耐心方面远不如中国人。欧洲人来华前，往往会去请教当地汉学家。这些“中国通”往往会告诫他们，同中国人打交道，必须有耐心，否则会一事无成。

我找到一些熟悉的欧洲朋友，请他们谈谈这种差别究竟在哪里。

有的朋友说：“欧洲人谈话，很快就能进入实质问题，因为时间就是金钱。我们的中国伙伴，往往先叙友谊再谈天气，寒暄不止，这样确实能创造良好的气氛，如果谈多了，就会使人很不耐烦。”

另一个朋友说：“一个项目谈了半天，我还不知道哪位是真正的决策人，好像每个人都是，又好像每个人都不是。至于项目的审批更是‘马拉松’，不知终点在哪里。”

还有朋友说：“有时，中方答复说可以予以‘积极考虑’，过了一两个星期甚至一两个月，我们再去问时，仍然在‘积极考虑’。‘积极考虑’和‘消极考虑’的界线，究竟何在呢？”

他们说：“撇开办事这一点，从谈话方式、考虑问题的角度、处理事情的态度，以至动作手势和感情表达方面，我们与你们都有不同。造成这种差异的原因，可能是地域环境，与气候、阳光有关，也可能与农业社会和工业社会整体环境生活节奏有关，从而造成民族思维方式的差异，形成不同的时间观念和效率观念。”

I have discussed the different levels of patience of two cultures with some European friends.

“Europeans tend to get straight to the point, because time is money for them,” some remarked, “while our Chinese partners like to greet a lot by talking about friendship and weather conditions before going to business-related questions.It is a good way to build a good atmosphere, but it often challenges one's patience to do so.”

“When a subject is hotly debated during negotiations, I cannot see who is the decision maker,” another European friend added.“It seems that everyone is, yet nobody is.As regards the approval of a project, it is quite a marathon which seems to have no end.”

“Sometimes, the Chinese counterpart responds that they will consider it actively, but after a couple of weeks, or even a few months, they reply that it is still under active consideration.Active or passive, what is the demarcation?”

“In addition, Europeans are different in many aspects in terms of the manner of speaking and thinking, attitudes to dealing with problems, body language, and their expression of feelings,” one friend observed.“The reasons for such differences lie in the geographical conditions, climate, and sunshine, and perhaps even the life style differences in agricultural and industrial societies.These factors contribute a lot to the different mindset between nations and cultures, which result in differing conceptions of time and efficiency.”

There is a more interesting explanation: language determines the speed of psychological response.One European friend of mine who has profound understanding of China said, “Generally speaking, most European languages' alphabet consists of about 26 letters, which is easy for learners to remember.So it is common for a European to master at least one or two foreign languages.By contrast, the Chinese language is different.In the 42-volume Chinese dictionary compiled during the reign of Emperor Kangxi (1654-1722) of the Qing Dynasty (1644-1911), scholars collected 60,000 characters, among them the commonly-used ones surpassed 3000.Chinese people must memorize these complicated words one by one beginning in childhood.Chinese characters are the only ancient written symbols combining language and art that are still used today, with Chinese calligraphy as a unique cultural element in the modern world.Therefore, when Europeans find things hard to tackle, they would describe it ‘as hard as learning Chinese characters.'

“On the other hand, Chinese characters play an important role in strengthening national solidarity.The unity of characters can be a fundamental reason for the fact that, during thousands of years in history, Chinese people were not assimilated into foreign cultures.

“In addition, Chinese characters have fostered patience of Chinese people who, at an early age, memorize a multitude of words by practicing writing them.Don't you Chinese have such a saying as ‘ten years of hard study by a cold window'? The ten years' hardship is right the cradle of patience.”

(FromThe Difference Between Chinese and Western Ways of Thinking from the Viewpoint of a Former Chinese Ambassador, SDX Joint Publishing Company.Translation: Wang Wen)

我听到一种更妙的解释是：由于语言的原因，产生人的心理反应的快慢。这位对中国颇有研究和了解的欧洲朋友说：“欧洲文字一般只有26 个字母，比较好学，懂一两门外语，在欧洲并不稀奇。但中国的文字就不同，《康熙字典》里收集6 万个汉字，即使常用字，也在3000 个以上，人们从幼儿时代起，就要一个字一个字地记，而且非常难写。汉字也是语言和艺术结合的唯一古老文字，例如汉文化的书法就是全世界独一无二的。欧洲人形容一件事情难办时，常说此事就像中国文字一样。

“不过，中国的文字也有独特作用，即增强了民族凝聚力，在长达数千年历史中，中华民族没有被外来文化同化，文字的统一，不能不说是一个重要原因。

“另外，中国文字也锻炼了中国人的耐心，中国人从孩提时代就要一笔一画地练习写字，记住数千个字和单词。中国不是有‘十年寒窗’的说法吗？十年寒窗，就是培养耐心的摇篮。”

（摘自《差异——一位中国大使眼中的东西方思维》上海三联书店）