Wording Matters

By Xu Chenguang

Words kill, and words heal. The right choice of words may smooth your communication and delight people around you.

1Several days ago, a friend of mine wanted to consult an expert for advice, so he asked his friend, who knew both of them, to arrange a dinner together. After reserving a restaurant, my friend sent out this message as a reminder: “It is our honor that you agreed to meet with us. The supper is arranged at room XX of XX Restaurant. Please arrive before six o’clock in the afternoon.”

However, not long after receiving the message, the expert replied, “I’m afraid that I can’t arrive on time because I have another important appointment. Let’s meet another day.”

My friend’s message told the exact place and the time and everything was clear, but the way he spoke to the expert did not hit the right marks—his message was forceful in tone. It is alright to speak to close friends or colleagues in an imperative way, but it is not appropriate to speak in that manner to an important guest. It may make one feel disrespected and unhappy.

So, the message could be rewritten as: “It is our honor that you agreed to meet with us. The supper is reserved at Room XX of XX Restaurant. We will be right there waiting for you at 6 pm.” In this way, it clearly tells the concrete place and time and shows the invitee enough respect.

2One of my colleagues was going to wed. He invited one of his superiors to participate in the wedding ceremony and arranged for him to get in the same car with his mother-in-law. Very soon, a police car appeared right after they left the bride’s home. Some colleagues murmured that it was unlucky. Shortly after, they happened to meet a bailiff’s car, and more gossip about the two ominous meetings spread, and his mother-in-law felt unhappy, her head hanging down.

Marriage is an important event in one’s life. Those who are married all want their ceremonies to be lucky and pleasant, so when many of the attendees kept on chattering, the superstitious parents of the bride and groom couldn’t be happy anyway.

At this moment, the superior stood up and said, “These special meetings speak good to the future of the marriage. Meeting the bailiff’s car means the marriage is legal and being protected by law; meeting a police car indicates that the bride and groom are distinguished ones. When they leave home for marriage, the police car guards them, which means one of their kids may have great futures.” His words made all participants delighted and the parents joyful.

(From Murmuring in the Twilight, Hunan Normal University Press. Translation: Joseph Ma)

生活语言有讲究

文/徐晨光

案例一

前几天，有位朋友想找位专家咨询件事，就通过别人约好一起吃晚饭。这位朋友定好地方后，给专家发了这样一条信息：感谢您同意和我们见面，晚餐订在某某宾馆、某某包间，请您下午六点之前赶到。对方接到信息后回复说：“我今天有重要事情，可能六点赶不到，以后再约吧。”

这个朋友的信息虽然讲明了时间和地点，也能看明白，但是口气不对，给对方提出了具体要求，这种口气跟同事和朋友讲话可以，但给重要的贵宾提具体要求，会让人觉得不受尊重，心里不悦。

如果把这条信息改成“感谢您同意和我们见面，晚餐订在某某宾馆、某某包间，我们将于下午六点准时在那里恭候”，就既讲明了时间、地点，又能让人看懂，同时使人感觉到了尊重。

案例二

一个同事结婚，邀请了一位领导，把他安排和岳母坐同一辆车。车子刚出门，就碰到一辆公安的车，车上有人说这个不吉利。走了一段，又碰到一辆法院的车，议论的人就更多了。这个时候，岳母很不高兴，把头低了下去。

结婚是终身大事，谁都想图个热闹和吉利，大家议论纷纷地说不吉利，老人又有一些迷信思想，当然就不高兴了。

这时领导站了出来，打断大家的话说：“这是好兆头啊。出门碰到法院的车，说明婚姻有法律基础，受法律保护；碰到公安的车，说明新郎、新娘是富贵之人，出门就有公安护航，说不定子孙中还会出一个贵人呢。”讲到这里，大家都喜上眉梢，岳母也乐了起来。