April Fools’ Jokes

By Wang Huiyun

Every time April Fools’jokes come up, I can’t help but thinking of the story of the “cowtomato.”

I remember sometime after the reforms and opening-up of the country, the media reported on a scientific discovery that caused quite the sensation: “cowtomatoes.” Apparently a professor at some college in Germany had mixed tomato cells together with cow cells and had successfully grown “cow-tomatoes.” These tomatoes contained ten times the amount of vitamin C that the original tomatoes had and were high in protein, making this incredible combination of meat and vegetable into a brand-new super-food.

This news caused quite the stir in China at the time. Back then, the country had only just opened up its doors, we opened our eyes to take a look and:Wow! Compared with developed countries we were really lagging behind by a large distance. If we wanted to eat beef and tomatoes,we would need to buy tomatoes and some beef, then we would need to stir-fry them together to make a single dish. Other countries, though, had already made a hybrid of the two; you can eat a tomato and chew on it like you’d chew on a piece of soybraised beef. Giving you vitamins and high protein all in one bite. If everyone had this kind of tomato,then they wouldn’t need to tend so many cows anymore.

Apparently, in order to get these tomatoes accessible to the Chinese population as soon as possible, professional technicians made a special trip, over a great distance, to Germany to visit the professor who invented the “cowtomato.” But it was all for nothing.No such outstanding professor ever existed. It was only later that they found out, the whole thing was an April Fools’ joke cookedup by the British magazine New Scientist.

This kind of humor was certainly new for people who had recently experienced medical treatments like injecting chicken blood, drinking cold water, arm swinging therapy and drinking fermented tea. The joke in New Scientist, left Chinese people excited for quite a while.

If we say that “lies” like the“cow-tomato” were able to deceive the Chinese public who were totally unfamiliar with Western culture. Then, can it be said that everyone who lives in the West is immune to April Fools’ jokes? The answer is: no.

Westerners mainly just use April Fools’ Day as a way to have some fun. Very often you will see jokes played on famous people to entertain the public. In recent years, even Microsoft’s CEO,Bill Gates, was pranked on April Fools’ Day.

In 2002, two newsreaders at a French TV Station, in Montreal,Québec, Canada, were bored out of their minds. They came up with the idea to find a famous person who was intelligent and hard to fool, to prank for fun on April Fools’ Day. After some deliberation they settled on Bill Gates. On the day, they called up Microsoft headquarters, claiming to be calling from the office of the Canadian Prime Minister, asking that Mr. Gates pick up the phone to speak with Jean Chrétien.

Gate’s assistant didn’t think anything particular about it, and put them through to the big boss.

Gates, hearing that it was the Prime Minister of Canada calling, hurriedly picked up the receiver laughing nervously.Although Gates is a wealthy and intimidating man, he still wouldn’t dare snub this kind of phone call. As soon as the call began you could tell “Chrétien”wasn’t very good at English, but he was making witty comments one after another. The starting speaking about both countries economic trends and moved to talking about Widows XP. Gates was both dazed and overwhelmed with praise. In the end “Chrétien”even invited Gates to come visit Canada and he gladly accepted the invitation. What a privilege!

When Gates finally settled down after the phone call, he put on the news and saw that while he was supposedly having a chat,Chrétien was in the middle of a meeting with foreign dignitaries.

During the 80’s foreign Chinese students’ cars were all pretty rough. They were all the kind of cars where the horn didn’t make a sound, but everywhere else did. The poor quality of the cars meant that they caused a lot of problems. If someone’s car broke down on the side of the road, their classmates would feel almost duty-bound to go to the scene straight away and help out.

One afternoon, a friend of mine called saying that his car had broken down in Chicago and told me to hurry up and come help. I put down the phone, and without even thinking about it, drove straight there. I went to the place he told me but I didn’t see any sign of cars or people, so I drove around the block to see if I could see anything.

Driving around the area, I felt like something wasn’t right. I triedfiguring out what the day was, and realized that it was April Fools’Day. I suddenly realized what was happening and I didn’t feel good about it. On the way back I hit the afternoon rush hour and being unfamiliar with the roads in the city, I ended up running out of fuel before I had even left the city.

Around dinnertime, my friend tried calling again, to make fun of me. But, on hearing that I still hadn’t come back, that I ran out of gas and was stuck on the side of the road, he panicked. He got in his car and drove towards the city and actually managed to find me before dark. He helped mefill up my tank and took me for dinner in Chinatown, apologizing profusely the whole time.

Just look what this joke turned into!

每当提起愚人节玩笑，我总会想到牛西红柿的故事。

记得改革开放后，媒体介绍了一项轰动一时的科研成果——牛西红柿。说是德国一所大学的教授将西红柿的细胞同牛的细胞杂交，成功种植牛西红柿，其维生素C的含量比原来的西红柿高出几十倍，还富含高蛋白，是肉菜合一的优良品种。

这条消息在当时的中国引起不小的震动。那时候，国门刚刚打开，大家睁眼一瞧，嚯！和人家先进国家一比，咱真是落后一大截儿。咱这儿要吃牛肉西红柿，又得买西红柿又得买牛肉，还必须把两种东西炒成一盘菜。人家却合二为一，吃个西红柿，跟嚼酱牛肉似的，维生素和高蛋白全有了。要是大家都吃上这种西红柿，就不用养那么多牛啦。

为了尽快让全国人民吃上牛西红柿，据说，还有专业技术人员不远万里，专程前往德国拜访那位发明牛西红柿的教授，结果扑空。人家那里根本就没有这么个牛教授，后来才知道，那是英国的《新科学家》杂志制造的“愚人节”幽默。

这种幽默对刚刚经历过打鸡血、喝凉水、甩手疗法、饮红茶菌的国人来说，的确新鲜。《新科学家》杂志这么一忽悠，正经叫国人激动了好一阵子。

如果说牛西红柿一类的“谎言”愚弄了不太熟悉西方文化的中国大众，那么，生活在西方的人就有对愚人节玩笑的免疫力吗？回答是否定的。

西方人过愚人节，大多是借这个机会找乐子。拿名人开涮，让大众开心，是愚人节常有的节目。前些年，微软总裁比尔·盖茨就叫人涮了一把。

2002年，加拿大魁北克省蒙特利尔市一家法语电台有两位播音员闲得无聊，密谋在愚人节找个比较精明、难于欺骗的名人寻开心，想来想去就想到了微软总裁比尔·盖茨。于是，愚人节那天，他们打电话给微软公司总部，自称是加拿大总理办公室工作人员，要让盖茨接听克雷蒂安总理的电话。

盖茨的助手也没多想，接通了老板的电话。

盖茨一听是加拿大总理打来的，忙不迭地拿起听筒一个劲儿傻笑。虽说盖茨腰缠万贯、财大气粗，这样的电话也不敢怠慢。电话一通，“克雷蒂安”虽然英语说得不地道，但是妙语连珠，从两国经济形势聊到Windows XP，把盖茨侃得晕头转向、受宠若惊。临了，“克雷蒂安”还邀请盖茨有空儿来加拿大玩，盖茨当然是欣然接受。多大的面子呀！

等盖茨醒过神儿来，一看新闻，自己和“克雷蒂安”电话聊天那时辰，人家正在会见外国政要呢。

20世纪80年代，中国留学生的汽车都不是很好，除了喇叭不响，哪儿都响，因而出事的就多。谁的车坏路上了，同学、朋友都会义不容辞地赶赴现场帮忙。

一天下午，我突然接到朋友一个电话，说他的车坏在芝加哥城里了，叫我赶紧过去帮一把。放下电话，我想也没想，就驾车冲过去。到了他告诉我的地方一看，没车没人，只好围着那块地界兜圈子。

兜着兜着，就觉得有点不对劲儿。一算日子，今儿正是愚人节呀。这才恍然大悟，大叫不妙。返回路上还赶上上下班高峰，加上我对城里的道不熟，油耗干了还没出城。

到吃晚饭的时候，朋友又给我打电话，本想取笑我的，一听说我现在还没回来，断油停在路边，他也急了，开车就往城里跑，总算在天黑之前找到我。他帮我灌好油，又在唐人街请我吃了一顿饭，一个劲儿地赔不是。

您瞧这个玩笑开得！