H o wtod ealw ithyo u r em o tio n s an dtakeco n tro lo fyo u r life

By Wentworth Miller

导读:该如何控制自己的情绪？如何才能不总生气？如何才能不总伤心？

Mark Manson,the author of“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”,explains how to better handle our emotions.Following is a transcript of the video.

Mark Manson:My name is Mark Manson.I am the New York Times best-selling author of“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.”

How do I control my emotions?How do I stop getting angry so often,or how do I stop being sad?And I think there’s a really important distinction to understand is that you can’t completely control your emotions.What you control is your reaction to your own emotions.And a lot of people don’t ever make that separation for what goes on with them.

Somebody in their family does something.They get really pissed off,and then they react very poorly.And instead of blaming their own behavior,they blame the emotion itself.

马克·曼森，纽约时报畅销书《重塑幸福》作者阐述了我们该如何控制情绪，以下是节目文本：

马克·曼森：我叫马克·曼森，是纽约时报畅销书《重塑幸福》的作者。

该如何控制自己的情绪？如何才能不总生气？如何才能不总伤心？我认为，首先你必须认识到，情绪是没有办法被完全控制地。你能控制的是你对情绪的反应，不过，大部分人并不区分此两者。

家里人有时候做了一些事情，会让你特别生气，然后你就会做出一些很糟糕的反应。你不会反思自己的行为，反而是责怪情绪本身。

关于情绪，最有意思的事情是，你越想控制它或者抑制它，它就会越来越强烈。你越想不要这么伤心，你会越伤心；你越想不那么焦躁，你会对更多的小事情，越来越抓狂。

And what’s interesting about emotions is that the more you try to control them or to bottle them up,the stronger they get.So,the more I try to stop being sad，the sadder I’m going to get.The more I try to stop being anxious， the more I’m going to freak out over a bunch of little things.

So,it’s very paradoxical,but the key is to actually just let go of trying to control the emotions.Just let them—it sounds super cliche—but flow through you.And then actually focus more on “What are the behaviors that you’re doing to react to however you feel?”

When you’re able to do that the result is that things actually become much simpler.Your emotions—they actually...they don’t go away,they don’t change.It’s just that they’re not as important as they used to be.It’s like “Oh,I’m angry right now.But I’m still doing the thing I want to do.” or “I’m sad right now.But I’m still living my life.I’m still accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish.” It’s getting this separation between your emotions and how you identify or justify you the things that you do in your life.

所以，这可以说十分矛盾，而解决问题的关键就是不要试图控制情绪。这听起来可能有些老套，你要做的就是让情绪自然发展，你要做的事情是“专注于你该做些什么，来回应你所感觉到的”。

如果你能这么做，事情就会变得很简单。你的情绪不会消散，也不会改变，它们只是不像以前那么重要了。“现在变成了这样，我现在很生气，但是，我仍然在做我该做的事情；我很悲伤，但我仍然正常生活。”这就是你的情绪，和你如何规划认同自己生活的区别。