如何成为一个快乐的人

◇ 文 | 田 东

这世上有些人，会让你一见倾心，再见倾情。如果这人是同性，那会是良师益友，是闺蜜，是兄弟。如果是异性，那若不是人生佳侣，也必会在红尘中惹出一段痴缠缱绻。

这世上还有一些人，乍看面目可憎，或凶神恶煞或道貌岸然，令人心生厌恶，避之不及。可若交际久了，却发现对方其实胸怀朗朗又不乏幽默，实在是居家旅行、浪迹人生的必备良友。

如果以书喻人，那么江苏凤凰文艺出版社最近推出的这本《佛系：如何成为一个快乐的人》，大部分的可能性，是会归入到后者的。

Some people in this world will attract your attention the first time you meet and will develop a deep friendship with you when you meet for the second time. If this person is the same gender as you, then he or she might be your mentor or best friend. If he or she is the opposite gender, then he or she will either become your life partner or you will have a romantic and passionate love story.

There are still some people in this world who seem to be ugly-looking, gruesome,vicious, sanctimonious or so disgustful that you might try your best to avoid them.However, if you have had a long time with him or her, you will find that he or she is not only fairly broad-minded but also has a strong sense of humor. Then you will realize that he or she could be your bosom friend for your entire life.

If the book is regarded as a person, then the book, Buddha-style: How to Become a Happy Person recently published by Jiangsu Phoenix Literature and Art Publishing,LTD, belongs to the second type of person just mentioned.

说实话，对本书我一开始是抗拒的。

去年12月，“佛系”一词开始霸占我的电脑，我的手机，我的目力所及。“佛系青年”“佛系男子”“佛系女子”“佛系子女”“佛系父母”“佛系追星”“佛系生活”“佛系乘客”“佛系学生”“佛系购物”“佛系恋爱”“佛系饮食”……三个月后，本书“登堂入室”，成为书店和亚马逊的爆款。翻一下目录，佛系烦恼、佛系思考、佛系情绪、佛系处世、佛系竞争、佛系人生，章节的排列怎么看怎么像是一个披着羊皮的狼，成功蹭热点的“坏人”。再翻一下装帧，明明可以一百多页完事儿的书硬生生做到快300页！段与段之间如诗歌般的巨大分行还有不时出现的大量留白，更是直接拉低了我对“他”的印象分。

差评！

可审查般地翻动书页，又觉得“他”可能是一头披着狼皮的小绵羊。

按百度百科的解释，佛系，是指一种怎么都行、不大走心、看淡一切的活法和生活方式。而本书的副标题“赤裸裸”地“揭露”了本心——如何成为一个快乐的人。这二者虽有交集，毕竟还是有很大的不同的。

如果说都行、可以、没关系，是佛系青年的三件宝，那么如何成为一个快乐的人？其中的滋味，还真的不止这三种。

To be honest, I didn't appreciate this book very much at first.

Since December of last year, the word "Buddha-style"has appeared frequently and can be seen everywhere,especially on my computer and mobile phone. “Buddhastyle Youth”, “Buddha-style Men”, “Buddha-style Women”, “Buddha-style Children”, “Buddha-style Parents”, “Buddha-style Star-chaser”, “Buddha-style Life”, “Buddha-style Passengers”, “Buddha-style Students”, “Buddha-style Shopping”, “Buddha-style Love”, “Buddha-style Diet” and etc. Three months later, this book has surprisingly become major bookstores and Amazon's bestseller. After seeing its content which includes Buddha-style troubles, Buddha-style thinking,Buddha-style emotion, Buddha-style philosophy of life,Buddha-style competition, Buddha-style life and etc., I found that the arrangement of chapters is simply a wolf in sheep's clothing. In other words, this book is a “bad guy” who has successfully used the hot-spot word to catch people’s attention. There is also a problem with its binding. Obviously, this book can be finished in no more than 100 pages. However, it costs 300 pages! The line spacing between paragraphs is just as large as between poems. There is also a large amount of blank space appearing from time to time, which directly lowers my impression of “him”.

Thumbs-down!

However, turning pages with a review-like mood,I began to think that "he" might be a sheep with a wolf's skin.

According to Baidu Encyclopedia’s explanation, the Buddha-style refers to a kind of living method or lifestyle that does not give too much attention to things and does not care about everything. In other words, let them go and let them come, I don’t care. The book's subtitle directly exposes its true intention that is how to become a happy person. Although the two have intersections, they are still very different.

It is said that the mindset of that everything is fine,everything is okay and nothing matters is the three treasures of Buddha-style youth. However, to become a happy person, these three elements alone are not enough.

人生路千条，只能走一条。荆棘密布也好，金光大道也罢，如何快乐地走下去，哪怕前面恶浪滔天，泥泞遍地。这，是一个问题。泛滥的心灵鸡汤告诉你，有时候我们的万千烦恼，来自身边的物质世界，其实更多的时候，种种的不快乐，源自内心。

就如本书前言一开始说的那样——

人生中的每一天都会发生各种事，我们时常有这样的体会：人生，就是一条艰辛的路。其实，有一种方法能够帮助我们走出人生的迷思。

实际上，所有的烦恼都来源于“唯一的原因”只要明白这一点，再加上“正确的思考法”，那么任何烦恼都能迎刃而解。

从这个角度来说，本书更偏向于告诉你，“怎么办”。就像有读者评论的那样“小说给予读者的不仅仅是‘世界观’，还有‘方法论’。”在我看来，首先，这不是一部小说，人物、故事、冲突什么都没有嘛。就连散文也算不上，打个不太恰当的比喻，这本小书更像是文艺版的操作说明手册，或者说像是陌生城市里的导航仪。导航仪指挥你发现到达彼岸的捷径，这本书帮助你探索减少烦恼的乐途。

There are thousands of roads in life for us to choose,but we can only choose one road to go on. The road we have chosen may be full of thorns and may be broad and smooth. However, even if the front is filled with hardships and obstacles, we must continue to go on. And how to walk happily along this road is a question. The overflowing chicken soup for the soul tells you that sometimes many of our worries come from the physical world around us, but more often than not, all kinds of unhappiness come from the heart.

As stated in the beginning of this book---

Every day there will be a variety of things happened, so we often have this kind of realization: life is a difficult road.In fact, there is a way to help us out of the myth of life.

In fact, all the troubles come from “the only reason”. If you understand this, plus “the correct way of thinking,” then any trouble can be solved.

From this perspective, the book is more inclined to tell you, “What to do”. As readers have commented,“This novel gives readers not only the ‘worldview’ but also the ‘methodology’.” In my opinion, first of all, this is not a novel. There are no characters, stories or conflicts.It is also not a prose. To use a metaphor that is not quite appropriate, this book is more like a literary version of the instruction manual, or a navigator in a strange city. The navigator directs you to find the shortest way to reach the destination, and this book helps you to explore the way to reduce troubles.

人生在世，哪能没有烦恼呢？

那样的人生是不完整的。不完整的人生，又何谈快乐？

所以，我对于“如何成为一个快乐的人”的理解是，我们要在痛苦中发现快乐。简单地说，就是“苦中作乐”了。

那么，对于这个问题，小书的作者又是怎么看的，怎么说的，怎么做的呢？

小小地剧透一下吧。

稍稍剧透几个标题就好——“不是要抛弃烦恼，而是要‘理解’烦恼”“‘不必要的判断’带来痛苦”“不放纵情感，也不压抑情感”“从他人对自己的看法中摆脱出来”“竞争中的‘第三种选择’”“找回正确的心态”。

很多烦恼，其实都是因欲望而生的。

有读者在“豆瓣”上这样评论该书——为什么会有一部分人开始追求“佛系”的方式？……当无法改变、又不得不接受的时候，退而求其次的考虑便是退出这场争夺。

However, how can there be no trouble in life?

That kind of life is incomplete. Since it is an incomplete life, how can it be a happy one?

Therefore, my understanding of “How to be a happy person” is that we must discover happiness in pain.Simply put, it is to seek joy amidst sorrow.

Then, how does the author of this book see,understand and solve this problem?

Let me give you some spoilers.

I will only tell you a few titles, including that“It is not about abandoning the troubles, but about‘understanding’ the troubles”, “‘Unnecessary judgments’ will bring you pain”, “Do not indulge emotions, and do not suppress them”, “Do not be overly concerned with what other people think about yourself”,“The third choice in competition”, and “Get the right mindset back.”

Many troubles are actually caused by desires.

Some readers commented on the book on Douban.com---Why did some people start to pursue the “Buddhist lifestyle”? When it cannot be changed and it has to be accepted, the next best way is to withdraw from the fight.

其实，作者草薙龙瞬谈得更多的，不是外在，而是内心。不是消极的退让，而是积极的面对。在“管理自己的欲望”一节中，他说了下面这样的话——

例如“希望在工作中得到好评”“希望得到他人的感激”“希望得到表扬”等想法可以刺激人们的主观能动性，所以应该没有什么人会拒绝这样的欲望。因此，假如你也有想要尝试和挑战的事物，那可以大胆主动地去满足自己的欲望。即便动机是“想要赚大钱”“想要成为人上人”或者“想在竞争中取得胜利”之类属于“烦恼”的想法，只要这样的目标能给你带来快乐，那就应该大胆地去追求。

但是在追求的过程中有一个先决条件：“满足欲望便能够带来幸福”这件事仅限于本人感到快乐的时候，相反，假如欲望过度膨胀，变成了“焦虑”“不安”“没有进展”或者“努力之后也得不到认可”之类的不满时，我们就必须放下这样的欲望。感到“苦”（不快乐）的时候，就是该放手的时候。

在这点上我是投赞成票的。

我们都活在红尘俗世，那些隐入山林的贤人们毕竟是少数。我们都有欲望——没有欲望何谈生命呢——一种积极的同时又克制的生活，可以给我们更多的快乐，让我们更接近成为一个快乐的人。

就像神魔之隔往往只在一线那样，有时候心灵鸡汤和心灵毒鸡汤喝起来味道也差不多。甚至有时，同样一句话，一段文，一本书，都会产生彼之蜜糖吾之砒霜的效果。如何成为一个快乐的人？终极的法宝也不在本书，而在本心。

套用佛系青年的口头禅来做本文的结束语吧，一千个读者心中有一千个哈姆雷特，不管你怎么评价这本小说，都行、可以、没关系。你开心就好！

In fact, the author talks more about something that is not external, but rather internal, not a negative concession, but a positive response. In the section“Managing Your Desire”, he said the following:

For example, “hope to receive praise at work”, “hope to get others’ gratitude”, “hope to be praised” and other ideas can stimulate people's subjective initiative, so I guess that no one would reject such desires. Therefore,if you also have something you want to try and challenge,you can boldly and proactively satisfy your own desires.Even if your motives are those ideas of “trouble”, such as “to make big money,” “to be a superior” and “to win in a competition,” as long as such goals can bring you joy, then you should boldly pursue them.

However, there is a precondition in the process of pursuing: “Satisfaction of desire can bring happiness”is limited to when one feels happy. On the contrary, if desire swells too much and becomes dissatisfaction such as “anxiety”, “unrest”, “no progress” or "no recognition after hard work," we must put aside such desires. When you are unhappy, it's time to let it go.

I fairly agree with this point.

We are all living in the earthliness. After all, the sage people hidden in the mountains is a minority. We all have desires ---which are the key factors in life --- a positive and restrained life that can give us more happiness and make us closer to becoming a happy person.

Just as the boundaries between good and bad are blurred, sometimes the chicken soup for the soul and the poisonous one for the soul taste similar to each other.Sometimes the same sentence, paragraph, or book will produce very different results. How to become a happy person? The ultimate magic weapon is not in the book,but in your own heart.

Let me borrow the pet phrase of the Buddha-style youth to conclude this article. There are a thousand Hamlets in the hearts of a thousand readers. Therefore, no matter how you evaluate this novel, as long as you feel happy, it’s fine, it’s okay and it does not matter.