My Friend Peter

By Wang Lulu

(From World Knowledge, February 2018.Translation: Lu Qiongyao)

Borrowing Books

Thirty years ago, I was a teacher in a university located in the southern Netherlands. And I always loved going to the library.At this particular one, most of the books were stored on open shelves; there was no need to check the index and no need to fill out a slip.

It felt like all sorts of books were welcoming me with open arms. The only problem was, since Dutch people boasted the world’s highest average height, their book shelves were also as high as their people. And the books I wanted to borrow were very often stored on the mid to upper part of the shelves, beyond my reach, so I had no choice but to look around and try to find someone to help me.

There stood a typical Dutch guy with big muscles, strawberryblonde hair and green eyes leaning against a bookshelf leafing through a magazine, who was so tall that I had to look up to him.If I looked straight ahead I could only see up to the third button of his jacket. The timing was perfect when he closed the magazine in his hand to reach for a new one. I seized this opportunity and asked him to come help me by fetching several books from the bookshelf in the next hall.

He was a bit taken aback before he followed cheerfully and helped me solve my book problem.

Misunderstandings

That’s how we got to know each other. The second time we met,he said his name was Peter, and asked me my name, and which university I was studying in.

I said my name was Lulu, and that he should have asked at which university I taught.

As it turned out he was a second-year student of University of Limburg, Netherlands,majoring in economics. That’s why he thought I was a student as well. Only after knowing him for a while did I discover that there was a good reason why he thought I didn’t look like a university teacher.

According to Peter’s account of when we first met, I looked like a hungry baby crying for milk as I asked him to get a book from the shelf. He didn’t understand why I had to sit there pouting my lips and didn’t just come out with it directly.

This was really insulting, so I retorted, “Well, you were all absorbed in your magazine at that moment in the reading room,while I, a stranger and foreigner,needed to drag you away to another hall to help me get a book.If I didn’t play cute and act all flirty what would make you willing help me?

Peter replied, “I see. But LuLu,what you did might have had the opposite effect.”

So I asked him modestly what else I could have done.

Peter said he was actually not a typical Dutchman, who might have agreed to help me that day simply out of the goodness of his heart, but definitely would not have had anything to do with me afterwards. Peter’s father once ran a sugarcane farm in the Dutch colony of Indonesia, and fell in love with an Indonesian Chinese,so his father knew quite a lot about Chinese women’s habits and had passed his knowledge on to Peter. If a Dutchman not in the know like he was saw me acting girly, he would definitely ask me seriously, “Are you two years old?What’s with the little girly-girl act?”

借书

三十年前，我来到荷兰南部一所大学教书，逛图书馆就像刘姥姥逛大观园似的，乐得找不着北。藏书大多是开架的，不用查索引、填借书单，各种图书，琳琅满目，近在咫尺，唾手可得。可惜，荷兰人的平均身高占世界首位，这儿的书架，欺负俺个矮，俺想借的书都串通一气，躲在书架的中上层，不让俺碰。我只好左顾右盼，寻找帮忙的。

在一个报刊书架前面，我看到一位翻阅杂志的男人。典型的荷兰人，肌肉发达，红发绿眼，身高入云，我不得不仰视，平视只能看到他上衣的第三个扣子。恰巧在这个节骨眼上，他合上手中的杂志，要换新的。我伺机出动，请他跟我走一程，帮我从旁边大厅里的书架上，取下几本书。

他愣了一下，欣然前往，帮我解决了借书“高大上”的问题。

错判

就这样，我俩认识了。第二次见面，他说自己叫彼得，进而问我叫什么，在哪所大学读书。

我说，小的叫露露，不过，你应该问我在哪所大学教书。

原来，他在荷兰林堡省大学上二年级，读经济学，就以为我也还没毕业呢。和他交往一段时间之后，我才知道，他认为自己有确凿的证据，证明我不像大学老师。

彼得说，我俩第一次见面时，我请他帮忙从书架上拿书，那就好好说呗，干吗偏要嘟嘟着个嘴，像婴儿饥肠辘辘，管妈妈要鲜奶午餐似的？

我哪里受得了这等奇耻大辱，反问道，当时他正在阅览室聚精会神地看杂志，我一个陌生人，还是外国人，要把他拽到另一个大厅，帮我从书架上取书，不嘟个嘴、发个嗲、撒个娇、卖个萌，他能助人为乐吗？

彼得说，原来如此，露露呀，你那样做会适得其反。

我虚心请教道，怎样才能四两拨千斤呢？

彼得说，他属于荷兰的另类。那天，要是碰上一般的荷兰人，他们也许会出于好心，助我一臂之力，但肯定不会再搭理我，更不会和我交往。彼得的父亲，在前荷属印尼殖民地，经营过甘蔗农场，爱上当地一位印尼女华侨，所以，他父亲见怪不怪，彼得捎带脚地继承家族的优秀传统。不过，没有他特殊身世的荷兰男人，一看到我撒娇，保证厉言正色地提醒我，你不是耳朵后面还湿了吧唧（翻译成中文是：乳臭未干）的小毛孩儿，别跟我来这一套。

Bicycle Repairs

One day I went to the library to borrow a book and had a flat tire on the way. I called Peter and asked him to come help me right away.

Before long he came to the scene with a small box in his hand.He asked me to move my bike to a quiet place away from traffic and people, then handed me the box on which was written “tire repair kit,” and turned to leave.

I called after him: “Where are you going? Why aren’t you helping me repair the flat tire?”

He turned around surprised,“LuLu, aren’t the Chinese people famous for bike riding?” I replied“Yes.” Then he was even more surprised, “If you can ride a bike,why can’t you repair a tire?” I said, “Well, I spent seven years in Beijing University and wore out two Pheonix bicycles. I’ve had dropped bicycle chains and flat tires many times, and every time the bike broke down, all I needed to do was stand on roadside curb and wait. Before two minutes passed some stranger of the male persuasion would magically appear and stoop down to fix my bike for me without any complaints. So, I never needed to learn how to fix a bike.”

以往关于ET0的驱动要素的研究多采用各站点ET0平均处理的方法，缺点是可能会丢失重要的数据信息。卢爱刚等（2005）在青藏高原及其周边地区的研究表明，气候变化与海拔高度关系密切，海拔越高气候增暖的启动时间越晚、量级越小。贺洁颖等（2013）研究发现，拉萨市蒸散发与海拔呈显著的正相关，但随着海拔高度的递增，其在不同的高程范围内的变化趋势不同。因此，气象要素对ET0的响应可能会随着海拔高度而发生改变。因此有必要根据海拔高度对研究区域进行分区，研究不同分区ET0变化的驱动要素。

Peter shook his head with a sigh. He opened the box in his hand and told me, “As long as you follow the instructions, you can’t go wrong.”

I was about to have a hissy fit,but he stayed cool as a cucumber,and reassured me, “Lulu, it’s no use playing the damsel in distress.I’m not going to fall for that.Although I’m not a typical Dutch man, I won’t be at your beck and call anytime you want me to come fix this or that for you either. Can I ask you a question? Do you see me as a good friend, or as a ladder to get your books, or as your bicycle repairman? To think that you are a university teacher. If anyone should get all pouty and cutesycutesy, it should be some naïve young chick, not a university teacher like you.”

After Peter graduated from university, he went to Southeast Asia to develop his career. We lost contact after that. But he was the first person who ever taught me about European culture. Since then, I’ve tried to straddle the line. To not only exude female beauty in its Chinese manifestation, but also explore the feminine appeal from the European perspective.

I came to realize that, when I acted cute to get Peter to fix my bike, I was making a fool of myself. Because by doing this,I was lowering myself before him, and I was acting like a weak, coddled baby demanding everything to be handed to me on a silver platter. Obviously,Peter and I are both adults, why couldn’t I learn to do what he could? Why did I have to rely on Peter’s kindness? In other words,by being a dependent follower,how could I win Peter’s respect?Where was the gender equality?Without equality, how could we talk about mutual respect, values,love and admiration? Isn’t that where women’s charm comes from?

Dutch people, on seeing a woman acting girly, may ask them, “How old are you that you are crying like a hungry little baby?” French people favor mature women over young girls. Those different ways of expression show how European people view female charm. In their view, forbearance, nobility,maturity, wisdom, valiance and self-reliance are where the real beauty lies.

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(FromWorld Knowledge, February 2018.Translation: Lu Qiongyao)

修车

有一天，我去图书馆借书，半路上，自行车胎爆了。我打电话给彼得，让他火速赶来帮忙。

不一会儿，他来到现场，手里提溜着一只小盒子。他让我把自行车搬到僻静处，躲开来往的行人和车辆，然后把那只小盒子（上面写着：补胎工具）递给我，转头就要离开事故现场。

他转过头来，惊讶道，露露，你们中国人不是以骑自行车世界著名吗？我说，是呀。他惊讶道，会骑车还不会补轮胎？我说，本小姐在北大读了七年书，骑坏了两辆凤凰牌自行车，掉了无数次链子，爆了无数次胎。车一坏，我就往校园内的马路牙子上一站，不过两分钟，就会有陌生的男同学，二话不说，卷起袖子，蹲下来帮我修车，所以，本小姐不用学修车。

彼得摇头叹气之后，把手中的盒子打开，说，按照里面的说明书，照猫画虎，自己补，保证没错。

我急得上蹿下跳，他却无动于衷。不过，他还是给我吃了一颗定心丸：露露呀，你撒娇没用，我不会吃你那一套的。我虽然是荷兰的另类，但不能随叫随到，帮你修这补那。斗胆问一句，你是喜欢我这个好朋友呢，还是喜欢我这架借书的梯子，修理自行车的师傅呢？你还是大学老师呢。即便嘟嘟嘴撒娇卖萌，也应该是我这个小弟弟。

彼得大学毕业之后，到东南亚找工作。我俩失去联系，但他作为我的启蒙老师，帮助我了解到欧洲文化的不少方面。我尝试着双管齐下，不但以与生俱来的中国价值观来欣赏女性的美丽，也学着用欧洲人的眼光来发掘女性的魅力。

我慢慢地意识到，先前靠撒娇让彼得给我修车，纯属聪明反被聪明误，丢了西瓜捡芝麻。因为我这样做，就把自己放到低他一等的位置上，像小孩子一样，束手无策，软弱无能，有求于大人。明明彼得一个鼻子两只眼睛，我也一个鼻子两只眼睛，他能做的事，我为啥就不能学着做？何必依赖彼得的施舍？再说，仰人鼻息，拾人牙慧，怎能换来彼得的尊重？男女平等从何谈起？不平等，哪能相互尊重、珍重、爱戴和爱慕？女人的魅力又从何而来？

荷兰人管撒娇的女人叫“耳朵后边还没干的婴儿”，问她们“都多大了，还嘟嘟嘴管妈妈要奶喝”。法国人不待见妙龄女子，更欣赏半老徐娘。这些不同的表达方式，均体现了欧洲人对女性魅力的看法。他们视沉稳豁达、成熟智慧、勇猛精进、自食其力为美。◆