My Sports Report

By Wu Kun

My three-year wedding anniversary was coming up in a couple of days and I wanted to buy my wife a present to surprise her. During the day, though,I’m at work and after work my wife has an eye on what I do. So I have no time whatsoever to do anything else.

I thought of asking my boss for a day off. Yet considering all my annual leave had been used up, my only option was to feign illness. You know, a flu or cold couldn’t exactly come on overnight, and that excuse wouldn’t melt the boss. So I decided to pretend I’d sprained my ankle and couldn’t walk. This way I’d be able to get the day off without a hitch.

The next morning I gave my boss a call and told him that I’d accidently sprained my ankle on my way home from work last night. I told him that it was pretty bad, that I couldn’t even walk on it, so I wouldn’t be able to go into the office today and he consented. My plan worked, I got what I wanted. I went to some big malls trying to pick out a gift for my wife, spending the whole day hemming and hawing over.Though it was exhausting, I found something in the end and I guess my efforts were not in vain.

As soon as I went to work the next day, my boss called me into his office and said, “Wu,yesterday you said you sprained your ankle but you were faking it, weren’t you? If you wanted the day off, just ask, but lying is unacceptable.” I sat there absolutely ashamed, apologizing to my boss for what I did, but I just couldn’t figure out how he knew that I was pretending.

My Boss continued, “Never mind it. It’s just that your public WeChat sports profile showed you walked 25,000 steps yesterday.If you had sprained your ankle,there’d be no way you could have walked that much.”◆

(From Yanzhao Metropolis Daily, November 29, 2017.Translation: Sam Bowden)

过两天是我和媳妇结婚三周年纪念日，我想给她买个礼物，制造些惊喜。但是白天我要上班，下班后我的一举一动便在媳妇的掌控之中，根本没时间去准备。

我打算找老板请一天假，但我的假期已经用光了，只有装病。一般的感冒不可能发作得那么快，老板可能不准，我决定装成脚崴伤，不能走路，这样就可以顺理成章地请病假了。

次日早上，我给老板打电话，说我昨天下班回家的时候不小心把脚崴了，而且很严重，走不了路，所以今天不能来上班，老板同意了。我得偿所愿，去几个大商场给媳妇挑选礼物，折腾了一天，可把我给累坏了，不过最后终于挑选好了，也算是没白忙活。

第二天一上班，老板就把我叫到办公室，说：“小吴，昨天说脚崴了是装的吧？想请假可以直说，你这么做是不对的。”我羞愧无比，向老板道了歉，但是我仍不明白老板是如何知道我装病的。

老板对我说：“其实也没什么，就是你昨天微信运动共享记录是两万五千步，如果脚崴了的话，肯定不可能走那么多。◆